Do you ever feel like your best friend isn't really your best friend?
By wigima5
@wigima5 (904)
United States
November 26, 2009 5:34pm CST
See, I'm starting to feel like that now. I mean, I've been friends with my best friend since I was in 5th grade. And I know Ill always be able to count on her, she's loyal and like a sister to me. But in reality, we have nothing in common. Im finding this more and more. I like nature and going hiking, swimming. I like rock music, while she likes hip hop. n tho i like hip hop i can never talk to her about my music because she just gets bored. she never seems to want to go places with my family, and she often doesnt seem to want to hang out with me as much as i want to hang out with her. ive slept over her house a ton of times, but shes slept over my house only once and hung out at my house only a few times. like she doesnt care or something.
I just think a best friend is someone that is with you 24/7, and WANTS to hang out all the time! that comes over ur house n ur families are so close. someone who has tons in common and goes with you on trips. I know two best friends whose families invite them on trips to disney world! n they always hang out. I just miss that. and although my best friend is close, I don't think she's my best best friend. Anyone else feel like this? or does everyone think I'm just acting stupid?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@chookie1971 (2271)
• Australia
26 Nov 09
I see that you are young. You will meet many more people. Friends do tend to come and go. It is ones that is willing to take time out for you are the ones worth keeping.
I had a friend during school. We would hang out together as much as we can. We would spend time going over to each others places. But as time went on, we drifted apart. I would take time out contacting her but she didn't contact me. I would go over to her house with my baby, but she never visited me.
I have a few best friends come and go. But the most important to me is my current one. She does go out of her way at times to pick me up and take me to my child's school even though I only have a 5 minute walk to school. I would go out of my way to spend time with her because she spends time with me.
@wigima5 (904)
• United States
27 Nov 09
oh, u are so lucky then. see, that is exactly what i need, someone like that. who will just do random nice things and care. :( i think its what ive been missing all this time. pbbly why ive been kinda sad n lonely sometimes. idk. i think she thinks of me as her bff as well, but she's just that way with all her friends. I tend to want to do nice things n hang out with people. she never really contacts anyone, all she cares about is staying at home with her family. it's really odd sometimes actually. like shes scared to leave home or something. also, where i am sensitive n like to talk about problems n things, she is more headstrong n tough, so she never really has to talk about things. Whenever i try to talk to her about things like low confidence or something, she listens for a little, then says "just dont think about it that way. or else you're going to feel bad all the time" n then she switches the subject. i mean, it just doesnt help. sigh.
n yes i kno wat u mean by friends coming n going, i already have a few friends who were closer last year n this year weve drifted apart. but ive known this best friend for over 5 years. :( sigh.
@chookie1971 (2271)
• Australia
28 Nov 09
Keep you chin up. There is a big world out there. Many people to meet. But the bestest friend you will ever have forever, is yourself. Only you will not let yourself down. Keep smiling and do things what you find is fun.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
27 Nov 09
I know you are still young Sweetie, but best Friends do not need to hang out 24/7
But reading this it sounds like a Friend that I once had many years ago, she just wants to do what she likes, she just wants to talk about what she likes, everything has to be her way
It might help if you get a bigger circle of Friends round you and distance a bit
I hope you can work this out I really do but you need to let her know it is not just all about her there is you and your Interest to
Good Luck Sweetie
@wigima5 (904)
• United States
29 Nov 09
no, no, she's not like that at all. She DOES compromise on things and ask me on what I want to do when we hang out. The thing that's missing is her DRIVE to want to hang out with me. her Want to invite me places and hang out at my place if i cant at hers, without all the bs excuses that I know she can easily overcome. Tho I am making distance with a few other friends because I've realized this year which "friends" were true and real and always there, and the ones who were just friends who come and go and not real friends. luckily my bestie is still #1 on my true friends list. but im getting more n more irritated and annoyed with her n our relationship. i just worry one day i might end up saying all these to her and we might have a fall out for a little bit.
@yaashmin (42)
• India
27 Nov 09
Hi Ya I too had abest close friend and I trusted her very muchtill my schoolings .. But the next year one new girl was admitted in our class. My friend turned on her and she became friend of her... But I I too tried to became friend of that new girl but my friend avoided me.. Why i dont know .. And our friendship started to fade...This is how I feel my best friend isn't really my best friend..
@wigima5 (904)
• United States
29 Nov 09
yes, she doesnt sound like ur best friend, not even ur friend. but exactly i have a few just friends like that. i used to be closer last year, then their actions toward me started to change, n they started to kinda pull away. i still see them in my classes this year but we dont really talk much anymore. we're just friends.
@olisaur (1922)
• United States
27 Nov 09
The story or me and my ex-BFF is a lot like your story. We were best friends since the 4th grade, and I started to like rock and metal a lot, and she liked pop and hip hop. I spent almost weeks on end sleeping over at her house, but after I moved things went way downhill. By that time we were 16, and we just started drifting, until one day I called her and she totally did something behind my back. It broke my heart and my trust in her and after that...
I'm sorry to say best friends are often not forever, especially if you've been together from a young age.
@wigima5 (904)
• United States
29 Nov 09
Oh! That's Sooo sad! I realllyy hope that doesn't happen. because i believe we will be friends forever, we may not be as cloes as we were at the peak, but I think i'll always think of her as like my sister, always there and always loyal. I can't think she would ever betray me but, sadly with people, you never know. :( I sometimes kind of want to move sometimes to get away from all the people i dislike in my town, but at the same time i know it would probably tear apart our friendship.
