Trust, Communication, Jealously!
@Flirtykumquat (927)
United States
November 27, 2009 9:52am CST
Well, I have a boy/friend and it seems like everyday we are getting closer to finally being in a relationship. We have been friends for almost a year and then it grew into something thats more than a friendship but not quite yet a relationship. He is very open and honest with me and I appreciate that but sometimes I don't like it. I do trust him but in the back of my mind sometimes I always have a doubt, but I don't even know why the doubt is there because he has never disappointed me. Recently, he asked if I could pay one of his credit cards because he forgot to mail out his payment so he wanted me to do it online. Obviously he gave me the money so I did it for him and then I started looking at his statement (I know shame on me) not anything bad but I found some hotel transactions before I even met him and I don't know why it hurt me. He tells me about his adventures with different girls and things like that but I don't know even know why it would hurt if it was before I met him.
So now I am wondering if we did get into the relationship would I be able to put myself into 100% and not think about his past and I guess I have a jealously problem. I wonder what causes this jealously and how can I get rid of it? This sucks and I hope I don't ruin something or issues so small..
1 response
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
27 Nov 09
I used to have the same problem. My boyfriend would talk to me about his ex girlfriends, and I would sit there and have to see it in my head. It would hurt me, a lot. It was hard for me to remember that I was his girlfriend now, and those were EX girlfriends for a reason. As long as you know nothing's going on with him and any other girls now, there isn't a reason to worry. You could try what I did - I sat down with my boyfriend and told him I was a little tender about the subject of his past adventures with other girls, because it made me feel as though I wasn't important to him now. He eventually proved to me there was nothing going on with any other girls, and he stopped talking so much about his past relationships.
Just try to remember that if he's proven he can be trusted, there's no reason to be jealous. Those girls are no longer in his life for a reason.
@Flirtykumquat (927)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Thanks that helped out a lot. Because I guess I never really became such good friends with someone before I was in a relationship so now that we developed a trustworthy friendship it is so hard for me to take in all this stuff about his ex's and past. I use to say something before about it and he would be like we're not together so why get angry? But now we have developed soon so I think everything will work out..
