Men and cheating.

You know I've actually thought about this many times. First of all I think if my husband were to cheat, I would probably forgive him if it were a one time thing. However, if it were an ongoing thing like with Tiger Woods, for example, that I could not forgive because I see someone like that as being a complete and utter slimeball and manipulator. I think any person that chooses to have, say a longer term relationship with someone else, while married does not deserve to be forgiven. Really, how would you ever be able to trust someone like that, or anything that came out of their mouth? Also you have to consider that risks of STD's if you chose to stay with someone that's messing around. I was readingy a study somewhere that stated there is a correlation between men's income and the chance of cheating, that the higher the income the greater the chance of cheating. Also I think the ego plays a huge part in it as well.

I have lots of men-friends because I'm an open kind of person and they can discuss anything with me without feeling being judged. And yes, most of them are cheating or are trying to do so. Look, the saying is "it takes 2 to tango" so by what I've heard so far are those men who aren't satisfied with their wives anymore because of her attitude and ignorant towards their feelings. They want to come home to a loving family after a day's hard work, they want to find comfort too. If the wives understand that partly it is her fault too that he seeks refuge or comfort in another woman's arms, then she should forgive him and try to work things out. But if he's just a jerk who likes women, then leave him. Some of their wives forgave them, and some left. But I always try to educate my friends to face the problem at home, and find a way out, educate each other, talk to each other, and not run away to another woman's arms, because I find that cowardly.

laydee, Let me begin by saying that I find your perception on cheating very interesting when you perceive a man will cheat because he does not want to be with his wife anymore. As quoted by you: 'Isn't him cheating a way for me to understand that he wants out?' Well, let me say that you are quite a distance from partially right. In the first place, most people do not simply go about cheating without no rhyme(S) or reason(S). It takes two hands to clap, two to tango and certainly two to antagonize a relationship, too. It is always easy for us to jump into conclusion that men are untrustworthy, cheaters, betrayers and every known unpleasantry you can think of to make them conniving cheats. Yet, I wonder if we have forgotten to look the other side where they have to put up with their mates' unnecessary paranoia, unappreciated efforts, poor bedside manners, cynicism, ungratefulness, inconsiderate habits, the unwilling nights, unforgiving attitude over past issues where the problem with people is that they want to know their partner's detailed history, yet their love and maturity are not magnanimous enough accept the outcome, and many many more demeanors you can think of. Don't forget, we are all imperfect people, living in an imperfect world. I can tell you from my experiences with couples who stray, it is never an overnight kind of decision. It is an accumulative account of things which can even begin since courtship days. Talking about research, there was a study on why the 3rd party would still go into an affair with full awareness and it concluded that these ladies find the UNAVAILABILITY actually very amusing and utterly attractive. Sounds familiar? How about "Fatal Attraction" and "Indecent Proposal"? As the saying goes: "We all will have our moments..." and temptations is in the list (unfortunately). So, what happens after that, will depend on how both parties can arrive to a compromise to be willing to continue with the marriage or relationship per say. I mean, how can I convince you to stay if you cannot accept and not sway away from your belief that I still want and need you? Please do not take it that I am taking potshots at women or I am condescending here. I am sure everyone of us is aware of the term "give and take" but how much willingness on both parties is really individual most of the time. Whether both parties can be back together will just have to depend on whether they can evolve within and start anew to reach the endpoint together again. It is just multifarious here as every successful relationship is mutual exclusive. So, it is not simply men are fond of cheating and they cannot dictate or rather expect to have what they want their wives to do. Especially, when the wives does not want anything to do with the relationship or marriage or most of all - them (husbands) anymore. Take care and have a nice day.

I would want my wife to forgive me but something women can't do that. Forgiveness isn't about getting away with it but its a way to heal the pain.

i am not yet married yet i want to respond to your topic... for me yes wife should stay... if you really love that person(husband) you should learn to forgive.. as the bible says forgive 70*7 so do u think you have reach 249 times of forgiving that's why you don't want to give him a chance anymore?...do you like to see your children longing for a whole happy family?you choose do you want your family to be one of the broken family?