Children Dating

Canada
December 10, 2009 11:54am CST
My 12 year old step daughter has recently started dating a boy that she is in air cadets with. At first I thought it was kinda cute and funny. I assumed that they were ackwardly giggling with their friends about their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and occassionally talking to one another on the phone. Turns out that the boyfriend is actually 14 years old and they started dating at an air cadet dance. Last week they went on a one on one date to see a movie (New Moon - which in my opinion is an inappropriate movie for a 12 year old to begin with, but I digress). Her dad and I don't have a lot of say in what is going on here because the mother has custody. Am I the only one that thinks that it is completely inappropriate for a 12 year old to be dating?? If she is dating boys at 12 what will she be doing at 16? Scares me how fast these kids are growing up. Are parents really so scared of making their children mad that they will let them do anything? Kids need parents, not friends. Wonder if her Mom will be glad she acting as a friend rather than a parent when her daughter becomes a teen mother. And even if the results aren't that severe, is a 12 year old equiped to deal with a breakup. Keep in mind that this is the same kid that breaks into sobs when I tell her that she will not be watching Hannah Montana until she cleans her room. Sometimes parents need to remember that they have to make hard and unpopular decisions for their children, because they are CHILDREN!!
1 person likes this
2 responses
@emarie (5451)
• United States
20 Dec 09
as a step mom it has to be hard on you since you're not her biological mother. right now, i have 2 little boys to young to date (7&6) but i was once a preteen and hey, you notice guys early when you're a girl and most girls do go for guys older since the guys your own age seem stupid in a why. i've though heavly about the dating thing since it was such an issue for me when i was growing up with all sister. parents are nowdays to 'light' with their children, i do agree on that point. if my child did want to date at 12 i would set down ground rules and there will be no one on one dating, only group styles or i'm there. once they hit 15-16, depending on maturuty they can have more closer relationships. but it really depends on the child as well to see if they can handle those type of situations. true, the mother should be stricter, but if as a parent, you are too strong on the point of her not dating, it's gonna happen anyway. you remember being a teen once so everyone should know. i'd rather my children be open then go behind my back (like i did) to date someone. i'd like to be kept in the loop. but parents make mistakes, and so will children. that's how both of us learn. if she gets her heart broken its just something she needs to deal with and what you need to do is be there for her and tell her it's only natural for her to feel like this..you know the whole old "they're are more fish in the sea" type talk but much cooler.
@barehugs (8985)
• Canada
11 Dec 09
The very best thing you could do for this child is get her on birth control as quickly as possible. Her Mother doesn't need to know. She could very well be a Mother at 16. Maybe she is "Children" to you, but you could be in for a rude awakening some time in the near future.