What would you do...

United States
December 12, 2009 10:52pm CST
If your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance, or husband/wife cheated on you? Why would you do that? What do you think of others decisions to stay with them or separate? I personally would not know what I would do if a boyfriend or fiance cheated on me. There is always that thought and saying that if they do it once they'll do it again. If that person were my husband I suppose I would have to give it much thought. I feel like right now I would be able to forgive my husband, but then again I don't know what it really truly is like to be cheated on and obviously don't want to find out.
8 responses
@jlamela (4908)
• Philippines
13 Dec 09
If I will find out that my boyfriend is cheating then I will surely leave him because it is an indication that he will cheat and cheat in the future and a sign that he is infidel and that's one thing I couldn't accept. It is very hard to live with a man who is a certified womanizer. Womanizing is an incurable disease so even if he promised to high heavens that he won't do it, he will still do it and nobody can stop him.
• United States
13 Dec 09
You're absolutely right, it would be a sign in most cases.
• United States
13 Dec 09
I don't think it's healthy to believe that once someone has done something like cheating that they will do it again. There's always a chance that people change, the man may finally realize what he's losing and cut out the cheating. People can always change.
@ellayuri (48)
• Philippines
13 Dec 09
Hi, cscushman my ex-husband cheated on me many times. But we are not married yet we're lived in partner. I called him my hobby it's because our relationship last for five years. Way back i was so young to realized that life is not perfect and it's kinda roller coaster and you are the passenger. Well, i was just being true to myself and i think the reason why we get separated it's because we are not yet contented with each others life. Yes he cheated on me and I believed if we are not meant to be then let him go.
• United States
13 Dec 09
That's a good point, but for me it would be hard to let someone go after so long.
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
Good day to you cscushman.Yah you're right that it's so hard to let go of someone after so long.But should you stick to a relationship if the other side asking for his freedom?For me,absolutely no.Because he has his own decision.Time comes for you to move on and heal the wounds.Yah,it really hurts but just accept the fact.
• United States
14 Dec 09
If my husband Marc cheated on me I would forgive him for the sake of our two beautiful children. I love him and we are soul mates for life. I would ask him why he broke his wedding vows. We can work that out. I believe we can survive a crisis like that.
• United States
14 Dec 09
I do believe that a lot of times whether you work it through is based on each individual person. I admire those who can work it out, but that doesn't mean I look at those who don't in any lower "light"...
• United States
13 Dec 09
If my husband cheated on me there would be a lot of consequences if we were to stay together. First off, We would discuss why he would ever think cheating is okay and also why he did it. Second, lots of counseling. Third, he would be put on "probation" for example if I think he is talking to another female who may jeopardize our relationship, i'd ask him if i could look through his phone, or I would sit and talk to him about who this other woman is so my fears could either be soothes or he could be kicked out of the house.
• United States
14 Dec 09
So you would at least try to work it out? I think I would do that too...
• India
13 Dec 09
We are emotionaly touched with our Boyfriend/Girlfriend/wife/husband/fiance and trust them lot. Every one know its hurts to see their love is happy with others but its very very painful when we come to acros the truth that our love is not happy with us.So For their happiness its better we set them free from our relation.I knew its painful not easy for any one but if our love is not happy with us, for the sake of their happiness we ought to sacrify our happiness
• United States
13 Dec 09
You're right about them not being happy or wanting more...for me, if that person were my husband and so much more is invested I'd maybe see if there was something I could do to make him happier, maybe we were going through a rough spot, etc?
• United States
13 Dec 09
I've been cheated on, more than once and it's the worst feeling in the world and catching the person who did it in the act is even worse but at least you know the truth or what you suspect is going on. I've gotten back with a guy who has cheated on me which was a huge mistake because once a cheater, always a cheater is how the saying goes and it's usually true. I believe most people deserve second chances but not all, especially if they don't believe what they did was wrong. If your married to the person, it makes it much worse, especially if their are children involved. If that's the case than I believe you should seek counseling or some sort, I would anyways. Sometimes a person can change and they learn from their mistakes but not always. It's different everyone though, everyone deals with their relationship problems differently. If it happened to me again like it did in the past, I would leave because I've dealt with it before and it gets tiring.
• United States
13 Dec 09
I know a couple of friends who have been cheated on before. It seems like it is very hard to deal with, and I know I would be so deeply hurt if it happened to me. I do trust my fiance though, and don't believe he could do that to me! I guess trust is one of the most valuable strengths in a relationship, and once that is broken, it is hard to get back...making the relationship so much harder to deal with. I hope you don't have to deal with it again!
• United States
13 Dec 09
I have never been cheated on in a marriage. But I know how it feels to be betrayed. And it isn't fun. Being betrayed is so hard, and sometimes the best thing to do is forgive them. But separating really is something to do if you cannot live with the person. Some people continue to see each other!
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Dec 09
Loyality in a relationship is something that is few and far inbetween. Very few relationships anymore have one or both parties "cheating" on one another because they haven't learned to talk about their problems and work out their differances. Those things are key tools in forming a proper relationship. And if one is not tought to respect other people, to learn to talk with other people, then problems like this are going to continue to climb.