To spank or not to spank?

Philippines
December 13, 2009 8:36am CST
Does anyone here still believe in spanking a child? If you do, is there a limit to how a child is to be spank. If not,state your reason and why. For me, spanking is a last option in my discipline list because I don't like to spank at all. I want my child to understand which behaviors are not appropriate by just gibing them the "look"...angry eyes, open wide, eye brows raised, arms crossed. Of course, at home, I would explain to them when there is something in there behavior that I don't approve of, I would just give them the "look". I guess it really pays to really monitor the child as he or she grows up. When I was a kid, I got spanked by my nanny, but I was so scared that I forgot to tell my mom. It was only when I grew that I told her that I was spanked by her.
4 people like this
17 responses
• Romania
13 Dec 09
spanking a child is a bad thing if you spank him on the face or where he is going to feel pain , i never spanken a child is not mai way i hate to spank a child and afther he could have someting an im the one ho is taking credit, i was spanked meni times but i just cryde in my room for that but i think that the spanking strengthen my personaliti :P so i just got over it but im not seing that whe soul spank the child 4 this :P this are diferent times you can ghet even the child suport on you 4 just an act like this now a days
1 person likes this
• Mexico
13 Dec 09
Hi black forinel: I totally agree with you and i else would like to add that when you spank a child, this doesn't mean that you are strong. In fact a person that spank his child must be stupid because it's like he/she is saying that he/she is not able to teach his/her little kid so he/she has to use the brutal force. I don't get it, why some people still do these things. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. -Alvaro.
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
It is true, spanking leaves the child hurt. It is terrible to be spanked many times.But it takes even greater courage when you said that is strengthened your personality. You are a survivor. I admire that. Thanks for sharing
• United States
14 Dec 09
Yes, I spank my 3yr.old. I have spanked- in the past my 17yr. old and 20 yr. old son. My daughter is the 17 yr. old. I stopped when she was 15 yrs.old. When I mean business, that's just what I mean. Some bad behavior can't go on in the home, because what is done at home is done in public. There is nothing worse than seeing your our child acting out and embrassing you in a public place of business. Home training is the key. Spanking is to correct rude and unruly children. Some children have to feel you mean business also. There are a lot hard headed children now days since the government has taken a more active rule in our private lives. The school even tells the child to call the abuse hotline, if they felt they were hit for no reason. What is this world coming to!!!
1 person likes this
• India
13 Dec 09
Hi, No I do not believe in spanking. Spanking does not work for the child and the society. Spanking does not promotes good behavior,it creats Distance between the child and parents :))))
@thewayis (648)
• Bulgaria
13 Dec 09
Two Thumbs up for that opinion I have nothing to add, i just agree with you
• India
14 Dec 09
Thank u :))))
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
Thanks a lot for the comment! I really don't like to spank as much as possible because it does cause distance between the child and parents...
• Philippines
13 Dec 09
I used to spank my children on the buttocks, thighs or arms. Esp. when I was tired, my patience was short. But I saw to it that they understood why I got angry by voicing out what they did wrong. Afterwards, I kept silent so that they could think things over and digest what I have said to them. But it pained me so much within esp. when their skin turned red where I spanked them. I shed tears without them seeing. And then, as if nothing happened, I would call them to eat and we did our normal routine. I think it worked because they both have grown well with good and responsible attitudes.
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
Thanks for sharing your story, blestrella. Here in the Philippines, some parents still opt to spank when disciplining the child. Although you spanked them, you gave your explanation as to why you did it. Although I would not really want to spank, I guess I will understand you for doing so...Parenting is so hard.
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
You are right, lizbenetua. Parenting is hard. Disciplining children must be borne out of love. Alhough I spanked my children, those instances were seldom. I only saw to it that they learned. And we can see if we succeeded when our children are grown ups. Parenting could be a lifetime task.
@snafushe (794)
• Canada
14 Dec 09
I don't believe in using violence to discipline a child. It's cruel and psychologically damaging to be hit by your parent. It's a terrible thing, and I don't think anyone should practice being violent in anyway to their children. Anything can be accomplished with the right words and discipline, not involving violence. When you hit your child your teaching them that it's okay to be violent towards other people in conflict, which is no way to solve anything.
@snafushe (794)
• Canada
14 Dec 09
Exactly! It is not okay to harm a child, no matter how bad they were misbehaving. Kids that were beaten or hit when they younger a lot of time grow up having violent futures. Most murderers expeirenced violence in their childhood or were around it, teaching them violence is okay.
• Philippines
13 Dec 09
Hi there, I go for "not to spank". Parents especially mothers should have a better understanding of her child's growth and developmental milestone. Knowing more about parenting and more on about child's growth and development will greatly help parents how to disciple their child. It is not necessary to spank the child, you have to be creative in teaching your child how to behave, what is right from wrong, and how to act accordingly. Parents should have a lot of patience too in order to be successful in disciplining the child without spanking. Praises will also help children to do good things always. In every good things that your child have done, don't forget to praise his/her actions, and let him/her know the reason for giving him/her the praise he/she deserves.
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
I agree with you as well. There are other ways to discipline the child. I believe that parents should be emotionally mature as well when disciplining the child. If they opt to spanking, their emotions may become heavily charge when they do the spanking that it will now lead to beating. Have you seen the movie "Cinema Paradiso" wherein the mother was so angry at her son for bringing to their house the film strips, that almost gave his sister the burn? It's just a movie, but that happens in families who are already frustrated...
@yan_blue8 (1438)
• Philippines
13 Dec 09
Hi, Many parents do spank their kids. But I don't think its needed. Come on, parents doesn't want to have their kids hurt by anyone else, but they will? Knowing that the child came from you, parent should be more caring with their child. I think its not right to spank. Never!
• Philippines
16 Dec 09
That is true, the parents should be the one not to hurt the child. Thanks for your feedback!
• United States
15 Dec 09
All 3 of my children, now ages 13, 15 and 17 were spanked. They also got their hands slapped, as well as their mouths, (when actions constituted it). Marks were never left, and I always felt the punishment was appropriated with the "crime". They also received every other type of discipline, such as "time-out" and being grounded. Again, just depending on the actions. For 10 years I was a single mom, and knew it would be 3 against one if I didn't teach them proper behavior from the beginning. If I sound mean, I was, BUT... I am also extrememy affection with them (even to this day). I pounded positive words of affirmation into their minds, and constantly praised them. There was a balance of love and authority. For me and my household, I am very pleased with the results. My children have become very responsible and respectful young adults. I could not be more pleased with them!
@K46620 (1995)
• United States
14 Dec 09
Spanking is a good discipline for children. It is not abusive and there is no need to feel shame for it. Beating, on the other hand, is very wrong.
@jdyrj777 (6547)
• United States
14 Dec 09
I think it should be the last resort. there are so many other ways that can be used.
@anne25penn (3310)
• Philippines
14 Dec 09
I don't believe in spanking too. There are other ways in disciplining children. If ever that a child gets spanked, you have to explain why they were spanked and why they should not do what they did.
@kaka135 (14117)
• Malaysia
14 Dec 09
Well, I definitely disagree in spanking children. I don't understand why we should spank or punish our children. I always think when a child is doing something wrong, the parents should be responsible. Children always learn from the adults. If the adults don't behave good, how can you expect your children to be good? It's just like if you are smoking, but you disallow your children to smoke, isn't it not convincing? Punishing a child doesn't really help him to behave better, or it may even make him worse. That's why I really disagree in punishing children.
@BART78 (2931)
• Canada
14 Dec 09
spaking is not a goot idea for me, whipping the butt is more acceptable for me but i make to the point i would not end like this when my nephew gets my nerve...i always call his attention and raise a little my voice tell him what he did is bad..
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
13 Dec 09
I agree with you, spanking must be the last option if the kid is not listening or disobeyed to the maximum. There are kids who never stopped making foolishness when they will never taste spanking. Some kids could not be disciplined by just mean look or crossing arms? well there are others who are scared by that but most are not so the last option to let them realize is the have a little spank.
• India
13 Dec 09
I guess when u spank a child, its obvious they dont fear u. If they do, there would not have been any situation for spanking a child. The next time ur child do any misbehavior, please try to take him close to you and ask him , why he does that. All kids are like this, but if u keep on spanking them , banging them they wont listen to u anymore. They will get used to it and later the spanking will lost its effect. I beg u not to spank ur child.I remember how my teacher used to spank the kids, and I was very afraid of her behavior and was never able to be confident in her classes and lost my interest in that subject. The impact of spanking is little and will disappear but ur love and affection will take ur child closer to ur heart.
• Sweden
13 Dec 09
Hi, for me spanking is BAD! How bad it is SUPER BAD!!! I dont agree with this kind of act... if you want to discipline a child do it when you are not angry. Because if you are not angry then you can discipline your child with much care. Remember, they are children and they dont know or understand much of the world and the rules in general. They need to learn and understand things in a manner that the message will really get to their senses. Thus "spanking" or being angry to a child due to the fact that they made mistakes does not do any justice to it.
• Mexico
13 Dec 09
Hi lzbenetua: I think this is not acceptable nowadays that we have a lot of tools and we have learnt that's not the right way you tell your kid how he/she must act. If we are rational being we won't do this to our own child. I would like to make him/ her know what i expect of him/ her and why i disapproved some of his actions. Thanks for making this question. It's nice to know that a lot of persons think the same as i do. Have a nice day. -Alvaro.