What's your excuse for not being married?!

@mommyboo (13191)
United States
December 16, 2009 10:31pm CST
Has anybody ever asked you this? Why do you think someone would ask something in such a blunt manner? (I don't have an excuse, I'm married)....
16 responses
@maezee (41043)
• United States
17 Dec 09
Oh my gosh. This reminds me of the question (very similar): "Why are you still single?" as if we have a choice in the matter. I never get asked the question "What's your excuse for not being married?" as I'm 19 right now, and not too many people have married and settled down at this age. But it's like being SINGLE is a CRIME these days! One of which we don't even know we're committing..Until someone brings it up. *sigh*. For some reason people like to think that if you're not in a committed relationship, your life isn't complete. And that's kind of sad to me. While I miss having a boyfriend and companion and best friend all in one - I don't feel like I should be socially "abnormal" because I don't have one! Ugh! Society these days. Hmphh.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13191)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I never liked being single much - not because it's such a bad alternative but because peoople who find out do rotten things like try to set you up or wonder or think that you're lonely. Also it almost seems like people you DON'T like TRY HARDER if they know you're single, and they'd likely leave you alone if you were not.
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
hi there mommyboo....well im married too but i would like to give my views on your posted discussion. I grew up with my aunt who is single and she is 65 years old now. I also wonder why she prefers to single. As i look at her physically, she is tall, smart and beautiful as well as a very kind woman. When i was a kid i always ask her that question and she would just answers me by saying that it is her choice. I learned that she had a previous relationship during her earlier days but things went wrong. Until now i did'nt knew her real reasons but i guess in my own opinion she was hurt when her childhood sweetheart marries another woman. But i am also thankful because she took care of me as her own daughter. She sends me to the best school and i was able to finished a degree because of her since my folks could not afford to give my education. As i look at her now, she is fulfilled as a retired teacher and she is happy to see my daughter as well. She is active in the church and as a grandmother.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13191)
• United States
18 Dec 09
I actually have a few relatives who are also older and still single. I don't believe either one of them were ever involved in a relationship at least from what *I* remember. I can't really say whether they are happy or not, all I can do is trust that they are or they'd have made a change in their lives. I've also learned that I don't generally know all of the factors that tie into how or what another person chooses. I just know how their choice would make ME feel... and I wouldn't choose to be alone, I would at least date if I were not married. Maybe not excessively, but I would not be single for 50 years, that's all I'm saying.
• United States
17 Dec 09
Like its anyone's business, I would ask them why are they so rude. I had a friend who wasn't married and she said that she learned from all her friends why she wasn't and that ticked them off. She said that all her friends did was complain about their husbands and how they couldn't change them into what they wanted, she always said that she would never do that because she wanted to be happy with who God gave her, that shut them up.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4182)
• Canada
17 Dec 09
Oh, I have many excuses for this question. Many folks seem to think that it is their business that I am not married or why I should be married or whatever. When it isn't, I am not married, I have no intention of getting married. I know of very few people who have gotten married and stayed together longer then 10 years, and that is fine for them, but it won't work for me. I would sooner just keep my relationships the way they are, then have them changed over a little piece of paper. Cheers.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 09
I get asked this all the time because I have been in a relationship for 8 years with the same guy. So I constantly get asked why we don't get married and I think people make these decisions lightly. We get along great and there is no one I could see my self being able to live with as well as we do but we don't want to settle down. We move all over the country and we travel to far off places we have crazy lives and I just have never pictured myself as a married person it just sounds like such a turn off. I also am not Christian and would never be able to conform to the traditional marriage or ceremony. I love what we have I don't want to ruin it. I also get asked this by ladies who proceed to tell me that if he leaves he could just leave me with nothing and I will get no money which I think is so outrageous (learn to support yourselves ladies!) So yeah I hate the marriage question and soon after you start hearing that question you get the when you gonna start having kids question!
• China
17 Dec 09
I got the exactly feeling as yours!!
@dorannmwin (36651)
• United States
21 Dec 09
Well, I'm married now so I don't have to have an excuse anymore. However, when my daughter was born, my husband and I were not yet married. She was born only 11 months after we met and we didn't really know if things were going to work out in the long run. So, when I was asked the question when she was younger, I would tell people that my excuse was because I wanted her to be able to be a part of our wedding when we decided to get married. My husband and I got married when she was 19 months old and she was the flower girl in our wedding.
@Opal26 (17684)
• United States
18 Dec 09
Hey mommyboo! Well, I'm not married, never have been and probably never will be so I have been asked this question over and over again~ And I don't need an excuse, because it's my phucking life! I don't owe anyone an explanation as to why I decided that marriage wasn't for me! It just worked out that way! If I had married, I would have been divorced, cost me money, so I just skipped that step! Anyone of my friends who did marry all ended up divorced and miserable anyway, so what's your point, I always say! I almost got married twice, but thought about it and decided it wasn't the right thing for me! Thankfully, I lived with both x-fiancees first! Nothing like a "trial" to see how you feel!
• United States
17 Dec 09
I have been asked this, and I don't like it when people think that I should be married. I tell them that I would like to finish college first and that I'm only 24, I've got time. It annoys me when people ask me this or look at me like I'm weird because I'm not married, engaged, nor do I have a boyfriend. Give me time. I'm waiting for the right man. I think the ones that usually ask this are my newlywed friends or the friends of my mother's who all got married young. Sometimes I think these people think everyone should be married. I just say what I wrote above, or say something to the effect of, "It'll happen when it happens. Don't rush me."
• United States
17 Dec 09
While I have never been asked this question (I met my husband right before I turned 18) I have been asked why I do not have children. People have a tendency to think that what they enjoy and love should be loved by everyone. I do the same thing but about different subjects. I think that it is just human nature to sometimes ask questions that are none of our business.
@dawnald (84206)
• Shingle Springs, California
17 Dec 09
lol No, but my mother-in-law was going behind my back to my husband asking who had the problem when we didnt have children right away.
• United States
17 Dec 09
I'm not married becuase I'm happier when I'm not in a relationship. It is such a good feeling not having to worry about another person and knowing that there is no one there to let you down and break your heart. Being single I can do my own thing. Having friends to talk and hang out with is enough for me. I don't need a man to tell me he loves me and buy gifts for valentines day and then turn around and become someone who you don't even know when you fall in love with him, to make me happy.
• India
17 Dec 09
for having a cup of tea i dont want to buy a teashop....
@arystine (1274)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
I'm single and planning to get married in two or three years time. With whom? Am still searching! (LOL) Kidding aside, I'm not into the marriage aspect yet 'coz I feel that I still have so many things to do before settling down. I still want to enjoy the single life, to date and see people, to travel, to provide for my family.... I know in the near future I'll feel the need to settle down but as of now, I want to be free. :-)
@weasel81 (2501)
• Australia
17 Dec 09
um yeah, we got engaged yrs wgo but have never got round to the wedding thing. the worst question is when are you having another child.
@DenverLC (1146)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
Marriage will come at its right time, place and perfect person. To be single does not mean you are unhappy with your lovelife, some prefer to enjoy dating while not yet completely attach with someone in the marriage vows.Other reasons includes financial incapability, constrained by a lot of ambitions not yet attained, or simply by a voluntary choice.
@coopher (12)
• Philippines
17 Dec 09
im 22 right now and the only person who ask me that question is my mother, i still remember the day when she asked me that question. i guess she wanted to have her grandchildren son because im the oldest of my siblings. :)