What to do with a friend who thinks so low of himself...

@sublime03 (1809)
Philippines
December 22, 2009 4:37am CST
I just recently talked to a friend of mine and he kept going on and on about how he cannot do this or that. He thinks that he cannot achieve anything or he is not good at anything. Of course I insisted he does not need to compare himself with others and there achievements. If you we're in my shoes what would you say to my friend who is lost in the moment where all he thinks of himself is failure. I have spoken words of encouragement and made myself an example. I told him that no one can dictate to what he can or cannot do because only he himself can answer that. I challenged him but at the same time showed him I really care. How about you. If a best friend we're to go to you today, what would be your exact words? Will it be words of wisdom or will you just add to his/her negative thoughts?
2 people like this
3 responses
@benny128 (3621)
22 Dec 09
t be honest there is nothing you can do on top of what you are already doing. Some people are naturally negative, it has to be your friend that wakes up one morning and thinks I CAN DO IT. Whatever you say to him if he/she doesnt want to hear it they will just nod their heads and ignore what you say. He/she truely has to want to improve himself without that desire theres nothing you can do, just accept that him/her is this way and be there for them.
1 person likes this
@sublime03 (1809)
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Hi benny128! Indeed you are correct that we just have to show we are there for them. There is nothing far more greater than to show them that you care and that no matter what happens the decision will still be coming from themselves. Thank you for responding benny128!
@blablablu (222)
• Indonesia
22 Dec 09
It actually depends on how do you like to give advice. If it was me, I like to giving advice by breaking his/her "confidence" (confidence that make him/her feel so low :p) first, and usually added by sinism or sarcasm word (this is bad, don't try this actually :p) After his/her confidence breaked down, then I start to give advice, step by step. From my point of view, by breaking down his/her confidence first then it is easier for our advice to be accepted.
@sublime03 (1809)
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Thank you for the response blablablu! I have actually asked the root cause of it and I think I want to learn more on what keeps him down. I think it's just a matter of believing on himself more. Thanks again!
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
22 Dec 09
I would offer a hug and an ear to listen!
@sublime03 (1809)
• Philippines
22 Dec 09
Hi olivemai! Speechless but sweet. We should definitely offer a hug and ears to listen to them. That seems to work sometimes with other people, some would rather listen.