Would you prefer to be the other gender?

@thea09 (18316)
Greece
December 26, 2009 6:19pm CST
Have you been tempted as a man to give yourself a girls name as your user name here, and state that you are a woman when evidently you are a man. Or conversely as a female hide behind a male identity? What would you feel about a mylotter you discovered had been getting away with this pretence for so long? Amused, annoyed, lied to? What would your reaction be?
11 people like this
28 responses
@PeacefulWmn9 (10424)
• United States
27 Dec 09
Long enough to see what it "feels" like, especially from the inside perspective. It might make some things easier to understand. But that's it. I'm happy to have been created a woman.
3 people like this
• United States
27 Dec 09
Hello....I read the discussion header question, scanned to quickly and missed the whole point!! No, I've never been tempted to do that. If I had found out someone had done it to me, I think I'd feel more betrayed/lied to than anything else.
3 people like this
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hi Karen, who knows, you may have had young colin on your friendship list all along deceiving you. He did make an excessive amount of discussions.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (65079)
• Italy
27 Dec 09
ALL information in profiles must be correct. It is cause for deletion if it is not. That includes gender and location. I don't like the idea that males hide behind female avatars or have the wrong info in their profiles. What are they, sick or something else evil? There are enough jerks in internet without having them here too If I have proof that a user is not what they state that they are I report, period!
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15163)
27 Dec 09
i have never stated that i am a rabbit
@xfahctor (14126)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
27 Dec 09
no, but you did state you were a snowman....
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Well I must say I didn't report it for ages as I was having such fun winding him/her up, but the excuses and vulgarities issued upon discovery have been pathetic. Does it count that Colin has now had a quick gender change on his profile page but is stuck with his female name?
@xfahctor (14126)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
27 Dec 09
I pay little attention to the antics of other mylotters unless it affectes me directly. Now, if I had been corosponding with a mylotter I thought was a woman and was becomming romanticly inclined with said mylotter, then found out it was a man, I might be a bit.....oh hell, I'd be pisssed.
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hi X, now how on earth could you get romantically inclined with a bit of blub on the internet. Maybe all the women here are really men or all the men are posing as women. i so tried to pass on caring advice as always to this poor deluded creature and then get hit with a volley of insults when she tells me she's a 'dude'.
1 person likes this
@xfahctor (14126)
• Lancaster, New Hampshire
27 Dec 09
well, it was how I met my 'lizbeth actually, lol, I say it worked out pretty well.
2 people like this
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Oh I wasn't having a go about meeting on the internet and you were lucky that your woman was a woman but how many men has young colin deceived with his games here, who knows what he could have been saying in pm's?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Dec 09
hi thea nope but I have had a number of people here look at hatley and think I am a guy even though in my discussions I often talked about my husband and my children, hatley is just my last name,should have used Patsie but hate my first name,like Patricia but not Patsie. I am not sure how I would feel about a mylotter who was here under the wrong gender, guess it would depend on the person. I may be amused or annoyed, as I have deceit but again I am not too sure.I have never been tempted to be a guy as I am happiest being myself a woman,a girly woman in fact. I like being a woman.
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hi Hatley, when I first joined up I did think you were a man because of your name but I soon realised you weren't. You can use whatever name you want here but I do find it a bit sneaky when someone uses an obviously very pretty girls name, says they are female in their profile, then has a tantrum of vulgar language when they object to as being addressed as a woman. Obviously I knew for months but for them to start a discussion complaining about me giving them romantic advice was a bit much I felt. I think if you'd been in the know it would have amused you too Hatley.
• Spain
27 Dec 09
Hello, Hatley. More things we've got in common! I'm a 'girlie' woman as well, and I hate anyone messing with my name. You call me 'Sandra' or you don't get a reply. In the 1960's, when Sandie Shaw was a poplular singer in the UK, everyone kept calling me 'Sandie' and couldn't understand why I got so rattled about it. I'm the only one who calls my children, David, Elizabeth and Adam, by their full names as well. Now, you wouldn't think anyone could shorten 'Adam,' but all his friends call him 'Add!' I despair, sometimes.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hatley, from your comments in the other boxes I'm lead to believe that you may know which mylotter is a man who you thought was a young woman because of his pretty name. Could I be right? Possibly there is more than one.
@Iriene88 (5346)
• Malaysia
27 Dec 09
Dear Thea, I am back... I am too straight forward, what's on my profile 'nothing but the truth'. However, after months in myLot, I did come across some myLotters who are male but having 'female' avatar which is quite misleading. On their profile it is very simple, age and Country was given which is the true particulars. Gender was not mentioned but with 'female' photo avatar. However, after reading their topic of discussion and responses, one will know that they are actually man. Happy New Year 2010 to you and family
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hi Iriene, yes I know the ones you mean who use a womans photograph as their avatar when they are men, that is really annoying I find. But there's also the odd man on here who poses as an actual woman by stating female in their profile and using a girls name. Very suspect I find and no right to make a fuss when he gets caught out.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
27 Dec 09
I'm happy being just what i am & i don't think anyone should portray themseleves as something they aren't. That sucks.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Quite agree Aunty, anyway you know me, things don't bother me so I've known for months about this, I just didn't like the rattle being thrown out of the pram when he decided to expose himself as male.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
27 Dec 09
Sounds like to me he has a problem he needs help with.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
His/her life is a permanent problem, so many many problems to reveal here. Unfortunaley one of his problems was his ego and he wrongly assumed I wanted to date him, hilarious at the time as that was when I was playing along pretending he was a woman.
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
27 Dec 09
Why should anyone prefer to be the other gender? Unless they have an ulterior motive, which I don't see why it should be in a nice forum such as mylot. Anyway, we can roughly gauge from the way someone talks. Anyway, I have this general thought that I don't mind if someone is female, male or geh*, whichever, I would still be friends with them, whoever they are behind that avatar, as long as they are nice, friendly and sincere. Oh yeah, I like that special blue rabbit too, and even rabbits and other forms of cute flurry animals.
@jb78000 (15163)
27 Dec 09
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Three of my favourite people all in one box. Now fjaril here is under the pleasant illusion that I'm a Greek goddess, Zed is always changing his avatars but has yet to stick up a female one thank goodness, and I do suspect that the bunny has plans to return as an octopus being so fond of marine life and a bit fed up with carrots. However, lets just say that many months back my attention was drawn to a female mylotter who made many many discussions but ignored them all, then posted repeat discussions about not earning any money and disbelieving the advice that she should respond. I started to respond for my own amusement to this lovely young lady with such a pretty name who I had twigged immediately was a man. Naturally I made many suggestions that he /she find a nice man to marry which eventually lead to a tantrum and the words 'Mr Thea,I'm a dude man'. Which inspired my amusing discussion which was immediately deleted and replaced with this much duller one. I would have worded it better but the rabbit was in a rush to get back to her hutch.
@zed_k4 (17624)
• Singapore
28 Dec 09
All my favorite people under one roof of a box.. woohooo.. To summarize everything, I agree with you guys, including the cute little bunny. She needs a rest, and I hope she gets to settle her things quick and come join us all here yet again. And be active once more. Friends online are just awesome like friends outside. Thea, I think I don't know who that is..but to have someone telling you they are a man all of a sudden, I can imagine your shock and surprise! LOL.. I would too, if suddenly I chat with a female and knowing that she is a male all along. But there are also those avatars with gray areas, and if I can remember, the male/female portion is left unspecified. I don't know if it's here or in another site. We can omit the gender portion if we want to here, right? I can't remember.. been awhile since I check out that part. I don't know if some might be undecided about it and chooses to remain anonymous as to their gender, then that's entirely a different thing altogether. They must have their reasons... but then again, to suddenly being told like what you have, it must be quite a shock, really. Have you overcome it yet? Ha... take care, friends.
@jb78000 (15163)
27 Dec 09
personally not really and i have been very honest and told people i am not really a rabbit. tempting as it is to let people think this. finding out somebody else was doing this? well my first reaction would be amusement unless they'd obviously been trying to wind me up by doing this.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Well I know you aren't really a rabbit as I've spoken to you and you burbled in human speak not rabbit speak. But I feel I've been hoodwinked thinking this was a vulnerable young woman needing sound advice with her many many many problems.
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15163)
27 Dec 09
i may have seen some of the advice you passed on and very sensible it was too.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Well he was obviously romantically disturbed as wanted a nice young woman, always in debt and overspending, desperate to make money, and the terrible problems with that expensive car of his/hers whilst I kept advising on using the bus to save on repairs. And why if he was a man was he in such a quandry that day he got stuck in the car and needed to wash his hands in a hurry?
@Sandra1952 (6052)
• Spain
27 Dec 09
Hello, Thea. Glad you got this one up. I was going to respond to the other one, but it went - probably because you put a name to the suspect. I feel very strongly about pretending to be something you're not on the internet. A friend's daughter had a lucky escape. She was in a chat room with a '15 year old boy,' and after a lot of intense emails, she went to meet him. As luck would have it, she was in such a hurry to get to the rendezvous she forgot to close the window, and her mother found the emails and headed off to catch her. The '15 year old boy' was actually a man in his 40's, and my friend got there just in time to stop him forcing her daughter into his car. Heaven knows what might have happened. My user name is made up of my name and age, and my avatar is a recent photo, so nobody could ever accuse me of pretending to be something I'm not. I know exactly who you mean, and I avoid him/ her like the plague. It's not as if he/ she even puts up decent discussions, but that's beside the point. I don't like pretenders - never have, never will.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hello Sandra, I was rushed with this one, the first one was better. And I didn't name the mylotter only with the made up male name I'd given her, which was no where near as glamorous as his female name. I can't remember though if I told you months ago or not that she was a man? Teenagers meeting people on chat rooms really isn't on and they should be warned to be much more suspicious. When we make friendships here it's pretty obvious who is genuine and who isn't, I've never for once thought you were some guy in a raincoat for example. You can usually tell straight off if someone is who they say they are unless of course they have temproary sanity like the troll we were talking about earlier. Oh I just saw your last line saying you know who it is. I'm so going to miss my little chats with dear.....
1 person likes this
• Spain
27 Dec 09
Yes, you did pass that on. Has dear ... been banned now, then? Or is he/ she totally hacked off with you and so not talking to you?
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Dear made a discussion about me being mean to him, as he had apparently been reading my advice sometimes and didn't like it. He's also had a quick flip over of gender in his profile. His rather rude remarks accusing me of being unable to read have been deleted. I think he's lying low till after the end of the month in case he's banned. Very strange to send me a F/R though at the same time as insulting me. Didn't you see the discussion he made? Oh by the way I could not find Sweden in my started list.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
5 Jan 10
No I never have and never will I would actually be very annoyed as I would trust this Person to be who they say they are If I found out they where the opposite my trust in them would be gone totally as that tells me the Person can not be trusted and is hiding for a reason
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
5 Jan 10
Hi gabs, I don't get the impression this man has any real friends on here as one does need to have a little interaction for that to happen, but he's now opened another account with another womans name so I shall have fun calling him her some more.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
5 Jan 10
Goodness do People not learn their Lesson, what is wrong with him
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
6 Jan 10
Maybe he just likes girls names.
@dawnald (84075)
• Shingle Springs, California
29 Dec 09
lol no names this time? For myself, "I have to be me", sung off key.... Whether I would be amused, annoyed or whatever depends on what other little deceptions the person had been perpetrating, I guess.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
30 Dec 09
No names I'm afraid. The annoying thing is that my first discussion on this got deleted and I used a name I'd made up anyway. I think you'd have been amused by it though if you knew who it was.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84075)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Dec 09
I saw the name, might know who you're talking about. :-)
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
30 Dec 09
Such a lovely girls name, not at all suitable for a manly man.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 09
i only wish i were a man once a month. cramps are for the birds. i wish the menopause fairy would show up already. i'm sure over the scope of mylot there's more than one person doing that. i used to know somebody on another board that did that because she kept getting disgusting PM's from random horndogs.
• United States
27 Dec 09
definately-i am so over it at this point.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Random horndogs. Some of your expressions are classic. As it is patently obvious to anyone that I'm really a man (well someone did call me Mr Thea the other day) I'll leave you two to your girly chat.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 09
slang is an art form in my area.
@RawBill1 (8541)
• Gold Coast, Australia
11 Jan 10
I have mentioned elsewhere here on MyLot that I am really an elderly woman from Mongolia. Sorry for deceiving you. I do know a woman on other sites who goes by the name George and gains great joy from other people assuming that she is a man. She certainly fooled me at the start. I thought it was funny as she never actually said to anyone that she was a man, people just assumed it and she let them continue thinking that by never saying anything about it.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
11 Jan 10
Hi Bill, well of course this one was started in great appreciation of the dear young lady on here, with such a pretty name, who is a man. Sometimes. Ususally when he forgets he's a nice young lady. He wasn't very keen on being outed this way so made a new account as another delightful young woman, but lost a good decade as well. He's a typical woman lying about her age.
@RawBill1 (8541)
• Gold Coast, Australia
13 Jan 10
I am still not sure who this person is Thea, but I know that I will live regardless of whether I am aware of the gender of the person that I am conversing with here.
@artistry (4153)
• United States
27 Dec 09
..Hi thea, When I read your title, I seriously thought that you were going for being the opposite gender if we had a second time on earth. There's another discussion for you if you are interested. I have thought about the names that people give themselves as usernames, which are not easy to decipher whether they are male or female. But it would be interesting to find that a male was a female or vice versa, but we would probably not be told as they would want to continue the deception for what ever reason they started it in the first place. I would feel bewildered, if I did. Knowing me I would want to probe the reason for such a veil being put up. Former Mayon Rudy Guiliani of New York loved to dress up in women's clothing from time to time, and I for one think that he has some latent desire to at least know what it's like to be a woman, if only by dressing up like one. Strange he is. Interesting question you pose. Take care.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hi artistry, the original discussion about this was much better but it got deleted after about five minutes. I didn't see James Woods dressing up in womens clothes when he played Guilaini in the film. I think if mylotters start such a deception though they should expect to be seen through especially when they are very active. I knew for months this person was a man but amused myself with it all. He's come up with an excuse for it now but the actual excuse may get him banned.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Oh the discussion you suggested wouldn't appeal to me at all,it would get all the loonies who think they are having a second life.
@farazkh1 (1157)
• Pakistan
27 Dec 09
I never felt that way,ever in my life.and will never hopefully.Because i am completely satisfied with my "Manhood" and feel that Man is Made to Protect and serve unlike the Police Man but somewhat in the same Manner and Definitely Man Can do Anything which Female just Can't do.however Women must be Satisfied with there "Women Hood" because it is Impossible for A Man to bear Kids,Giving Husband Pleasure and Obey him.Because GOD Almighty taught them to do all this and Women have no worries to Earn but Earning is the Responsibility for Man,plus the Women have Less responsibilities then Man overall.....!
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hi farazkh, well I'm glad that you feel no need to pose as a woman and that you are a protective male. In many western countries though women actually serve on the police force and the idea of obeying husbands is an outdated idea. Also many women do have to worry about the responsibility of earning.
1 person likes this
@farazkh1 (1157)
• Pakistan
29 Dec 09
I know,that women serves in Police and even in the Army in the west & the same thing is in my country Pakistan we have women in Almost every profession.but i was talking about the majority of man does such jobs successfully without interrupting there family life and they also have more physical strength...however women better perform's at home and man can't do this at all Generally..... Women should obey her husband in order to keep her family well.and when the husband is doing his job fine and respecting the relation,otherwise she have a right to protest or even get separation in the extreme case,thats what i was meant.but unlike western culture is causing devastating and making it hard for them to raising a healthy family.......!
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
27 Dec 09
Never thought about hiding behind a female username. I understand that mine is a bit confusing - bounce. But I hope my profile and the contents of my discussions evidently say that I am a man. Whatever the definition of it is. Yes, I would be annoyed if I learned that I have been lied to. Confused even!
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hi bounce, well I wasn't sure with you as you don't display your gender in your profile but as I saw we were likely to become friends on here I asked. I think its a bit much when someone calls themselves a man though, uses a girls name, and then objects to being known as a girl.
@bounce58 (17451)
• Canada
27 Dec 09
I wouldn't like to be called a little girl. I have known to tease my kids of being such a little girl when they start to whine about something.
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
27 Dec 09
I like my unisex username here, although my avatar kinda suggests I'm a female (I HOPE!) I've never been tempted to pretend to be anything but what and who I am. I honestly could not say if I've ever come across anyone pretending to be the opposite gender than what they were born as, though. No one has ever fessed up. I've met my share of people pretending to be something they're not, although switching gender is not one of them unless they were very good at keeping their true gender a secret. If I did find out that someone was pretending to be the opposite gender, I don't know how I'd feel. I suppose I'd feel sorry for them for having the need to pretend. Have you come across anyone like that here? I'm curious now.
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
27 Dec 09
Ah! I know who it is. She's a he now on their profile.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hi Marti, yes apologies for the dull approach to this one, my previous discussion was more fun but got deleted quicker than anything I've ever seen. Good grief you know of whom I speak, that was fast work indeed. I've known for months but had a bit of fun with it. I honestly think they forgot which gender they were meant to be as some days it was most definitely female and others he was out bar hopping with his buddies. Oh well it amused me.
27 Dec 09
I am a young girl. I do not prefer to be the other gender. You can ask me ... why ? Because i am always happy with myself. I do not think i will get more happiness to be a male.
• Colombia
27 Dec 09
i agree with you i feel happy the way i am, i someone dosent thent its his problem his life and we should accept it and respect that.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
27 Dec 09
Hello to both of you, well I'm glad to hear neither of you has felt the need to pose as the other gender here on mylot. I don't believe at all that this is common practice and on the whole you should be confident that you are speaking to people as they really are rather than those under false guises.
9 Jan 10
Thea, are you trying to tell us something, in fact you are really Theodore a muscle bound Greek adonis!!! It's funny I stumbled across this as the thought about this and whether you make up a make belief life for your online excursions has crossed my mind in the last few days, not you personally just in general. Personally, if someone I had chatted too online suddenly admitted that they were not who they made out they were it would annoy me a little but I would also find it quite amusing. I doubt it would change my opinion of them, unless I discovered the reason for doing so is for something sordid, then bring on the hangman's noose.
@cynthiann (18613)
• Jamaica
28 Dec 09
I would not be amused. I think that I would be more disgusted than anything else. I do not like any kind of deception. Why should a person pretend to be what they are not? To me - someone who did this I would not have a as Mylot friend. Anyway, if I discovered this about a mylot friend who was pretending to be of a different gender then I would not like it at all. I wouldn't class it s weird but sick, I think. Yep, sick.
@thea09 (18316)
• Greece
28 Dec 09
Hi Cynthiann, I hope that he/she isn't on your friends list then, but he's done a quick gender change and is now male on his profile but his very beautiful girls name remains. Maybe it was done for more responses as I don't believe he's made any attempts to be weird with it, just dishonest.