dont let me worry

@bingchen (1126)
China
December 28, 2009 6:28am CST
mu husband would hope that we have our owned child next year.but i dont agree with him.because we married for a while and have no basic economy.at the same time,if i agree with him.i know i could not work outside and give up my job and stay at home for my child,i find that i could not accept this for child and loss of my many thing,i dont how to select and argue several time for this problem and make us unhappy.i troubled for it for several days,if it is you,how to deal with problem?
2 people like this
7 responses
@srganesh (6345)
• India
29 Dec 09
bingchen!From what I learned from your profile,you are already 29 years old.i think it will be somewhat tedious to carry a baby after 30.So,it is high time,you have to decide about giving birth a baby now.Don't worry much about your earnings.We can't judge how much we can earn in the future.Who knows,your baby can bring a great fortune for you.So,don't delay.Babies bring new meanings to your life.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
30 Dec 09
thanks for your comments,actually i could not have time to wait several years to have an baby,sometimes i feel head painful,what you said is right,i should think about children,
@Hatley (164229)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Dec 09
hi bingchen you really should not wait too much longer as at your age we start to have risks at childbirth so the sooner you can have a child before you are too far into your thirties the better. as after thirty five or so the risk of problems is much higher. as for finances you and your husband will have to sit down and plan it all out. For onething a lot of women and I was one of them work while carrying a baby then quit in the last one or two months. I had my son at age 31, and my daughter at age32. She had birth defects but my son was perfect, no problems at all. So I urge you not to wait too long as in your thirties you start to run into the problem of birth defects.I worked as a nurses aide up until the last part of the eight month then I quit to raise my child,I went back to work when they were older.you can work and have children too you know. I think you need to work outside the home as you will not feel complete without this and your children will stillthrive as mom will be happy and completed.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
30 Dec 09
what you said is right,i should think about my age and start to have an baby,sometimes i am afraid of the age beyond 30,birth for woman is very risk.
@maximax8 (30121)
• United Kingdom
30 Dec 09
I had my baby girl at 36 years old and she is normal. I had a horrible birth with her. I had my toddler son at 34 years old and he is disabled. He has spina bifida and hydrocephalus. I had an easy birth with him. I had my teenage son when I was 22 years old and he is normal.
@maximax8 (30121)
• United Kingdom
30 Dec 09
Your husband is keen to become a dad but you are more practical thinking that you want to have a baby when the time is right. I think that you could discuss parenting with your husband. If possible you should invite some friends and their children round for tea. Over a period of time your husband should be able to see the expense of having children. A lady that has children could work full or part time and have a child minder. She could be a stay at home mom if she can afford this. Good luck with letting your husband understand.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
31 Dec 09
thanks for your comment,i dont think about many thing about children that my husband should care and notice,i always think that it is only woman's thing,but i find what your sugguestion is reasonable,i should let my husband to be keen to become a dad.
@jaiho2009 (38989)
• Philippines
28 Dec 09
Hello dear, In relation with my response to your other discussion,you can discuss this matter with your husband. A child can wait. You can tell him that,you are not yet prepared,and having a child someone must be financially and emotionally stable to bring a child in this life. You can tell your husband that,you still want to enjoy sometime being a husband and wife. It is just a matter of explanation and i am sure if he loves you,he will understand and respect your decision and consider your feelings too,and not just his eagerness to have a child. I wish you a peaceful New year dear
@bingchen (1126)
• China
30 Dec 09
i have discuss this problem with my husband,although he respect my decision.this problem often make us unhappy,sometimes i find that it is difficult to satisfy with us.
@dorannmwin (36656)
• United States
31 Dec 09
Having a child of your own is a step in your life that is very different from any other thing that you have experienced in your life and it is a great treasure as well. However, if you try to wait to have a child until you are financially stable enough to have children, then you will never have a child of your own. Yes, there are a lot of sacrifices that you will have to make in your life once you become a mother, but shortly after your child is born you will find that your life is more rewarding than it has ever been in the past. However, I can't speak for you. So you have to make sure that the decision that you make for yourself is something that you are comfortable with.
• Philippines
30 Dec 09
There are many working mothers; meaning, they can work and have children at the same time. Working mothers are given "maternity leave". Besides, maybe your husband also works. Then no problem having a child to support.
@sirill (48)
• India
28 Dec 09
hey hi... this is not such a big problem... ur thinking only for the present... just think abt the future i dono how much old ru but when u ome to 50's... ur kids sholud b grown up n they should finish their education they should able to earn them selfs like u n it should not be pain for u as well as for kids... so think abt future...n coming to finance juz takecare of ur kid only juz for one year or two..then again strt ur work...or else juz wait for 6months to one year plan ur economy...n then go for baby...thtz it... so troubling urself n ur husband u cant think of urselfs so make love n b happy... dont trouble each other...its easy for me to say may its tough for u but be patience... hav fun...!!!!