Welcoming the new member and Meeting the family for the first time
By corrycrystal
@corrycrystal (1775)
Malaysia
December 28, 2009 6:49am CST
Hi, everyone! 
During Christmas this year, my sister brought her boyfriend home to meet with our parents and the rest of the family members. I could say that everything went on just well and everyone was trying to make him feel welcome. Of course, there were moments when he was feeling nervous talking to my parents especially my dad he he... We didn't pressure him, but I guess it happens and I could still remember when I first met my hubby's parents, and my hubby said that it reminded him of meeting my parents as well.
So, how would you react if your sister or brother brings their partners home? Would you be able to mingle or you would be the so-called 'detective' interrogating the new members in your family?? How would you feel if you are to meet the family of your boy/girlfriend for the first time?? Or how was your experience???
Please share. Thanks in advance!
During Christmas this year, my sister brought her boyfriend home to meet with our parents and the rest of the family members. I could say that everything went on just well and everyone was trying to make him feel welcome. Of course, there were moments when he was feeling nervous talking to my parents especially my dad he he... We didn't pressure him, but I guess it happens and I could still remember when I first met my hubby's parents, and my hubby said that it reminded him of meeting my parents as well.
So, how would you react if your sister or brother brings their partners home? Would you be able to mingle or you would be the so-called 'detective' interrogating the new members in your family?? How would you feel if you are to meet the family of your boy/girlfriend for the first time?? Or how was your experience???
Please share. Thanks in advance! 2 people like this
3 responses
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
29 Dec 09
hello corry!
huh! the first time i met my in laws is something that's really memorable...
i still remember how nervous i am to be in their house specially when i finally meet the parents! haha, i can't really talk that much and all i can do was to smile! but as time pass by, i feel comfortable with them coz they really give me a warm welcome...and its a big help that his nieces & nephews are there and they make everything easier for me...
one thing that makes me feel nervous and make my mouth keep shut is the language barrier between us...they speak visayan language and i am a pure tagalog and so i don't really understand them...
but anyway, the meeting still turns to be good and after that day, i feel that i already belongs to them...they are just so nice...all of them!
now, on my part, when my brother introduce us his gf...well we treat her nice as well and don't let her feel intimidated...we want her to feel comfortable with us...but i can't stop myself in giving some piece of advice and some reminders...hehe
1 person likes this
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
30 Dec 09
Hi, Ckyera!
Yeah, smiling can really help and you are right. When they are kids around, it will be easier to adapt. I understand what you mean about the language barrier. During our first dinner together, my MIL kept asking my hubby about me in their dialect. Hubby responded her in our language and told her to ask me herself he he he... I mean she 'interviewed' me through hubby, so, hubby was a bit annoyed. I was nervous, but I guess they were more nervous than me!
I think it's natural when we meet our younger sibling's BF/GF, we would always give them good advices. Hubby on the other hand, loves to joke with the newcomer in the family like there is 'step 1' that he should knows and so on.
Yeah, smiling can really help and you are right. When they are kids around, it will be easier to adapt. I understand what you mean about the language barrier. During our first dinner together, my MIL kept asking my hubby about me in their dialect. Hubby responded her in our language and told her to ask me herself he he he... I mean she 'interviewed' me through hubby, so, hubby was a bit annoyed. I was nervous, but I guess they were more nervous than me!
I think it's natural when we meet our younger sibling's BF/GF, we would always give them good advices. Hubby on the other hand, loves to joke with the newcomer in the family like there is 'step 1' that he should knows and so on. 
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
29 Dec 09
I flew to the other side of the country to meet my new parents-in-law. I am a reserved person by nature and I come from a small family consisting of my parents, my sister and myself whereas my husband or fiancé as he was then has a big family; six children with partners and children. I met all of them so quickly that by the end of the first week I was hyperventilating! It was nerve racking especially meeting the parents! It is always an awkward position to be in that’s for sure!
1 person likes this
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
30 Dec 09
I agree with you. There will be moments when we are tongue-tied when meeting the in-laws especially for the first few years of getting to know them and when we seldom meet them. My situation was the other way round. My hubby has a small family. I met his youngest sister before I finally met his parents. His dad is a quiet person and I think he will only talk when he feels like talking. It's not like in my family where everybody is talkative , so, you won't really feel the awkwardness.1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Dec 09
hi well all went well with my mom when I brought my boyfriend ie hubby to be to meet my parents but my dad just looked at him, and immediately thought up all kinds of dumb and embarrassing questions to ask him,my hubby to be did just great and my dad just glowered. My hubby to be was sort of amused, I mean we he and I were not kids, i was 31 and he was 37 so its not like we had to ask anyone's permission .we just wanted everyone to meet and then to get a long. well my mom always got along with my huband while my dad was curtly civil. so not all meeting go like peaches and cream. some are really nerve wracking and best when over as ours was.
1 person likes this
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
30 Dec 09
Hi, Hatley!
Yeah, that's very true, but I think even though how smooth the meeting goes most people just couldn't wait that it will be over soon especially if it's the first meeting. Your dad must be very strict and seems to me he's challenging your boyfriend/hubby. So, did he get along well with your boyfriend/hubby after you get married? 
Yeah, that's very true, but I think even though how smooth the meeting goes most people just couldn't wait that it will be over soon especially if it's the first meeting. Your dad must be very strict and seems to me he's challenging your boyfriend/hubby. So, did he get along well with your boyfriend/hubby after you get married? 