Was it my fault?
By atebuds
@atebuds (187)
Philippines
December 28, 2009 7:48am CST
I remember as a child, whenever I got hurt while playing, or getting into small accidents inside the house, also emotionally when someone tried to bully me, even if my parents took care of me, and talked me out of my distress and tears, it was just as if it's because it was their responsibility as parents. And as I was growing up, I learned to take care of myself, because I didn't want them to worry about me. Maybe that was the start of my becoming independent-minded. Now, as an adult, I still feel that emptiness of being taken seriously when I get hurt, physically and emotionally. Everyone of my friends and relatives don't think I can get hurt as a person. They think I am some kind of a 'superwoman' who is strong to face any obstacle. I do appreciate it somehow. But, sometimes, I want to feel important too. Was it my fault to have projected a 'superwoman' impression on them? I am by nature, not a cry baby. What should I have done?
5 responses
@Genericbe (1376)
• Philippines
29 Dec 09
for me, I consider your situation as not your fault on how others do see you. It is their impression or perception about you as a person. They give you confidence and motivation in life.
It is very heart warming if the people to see you as a great person. I understand that no matter how strong the person in accordance to what they see, still they have a soft heart inside of them that also seek for want in love. What you have now is a conflict of people view about you against your inner self.
You are important to them but the level of love you are looking for cannot be granted by them, unless you have searched for the special person in your life.
@celebratelifeh (1142)
• China
29 Dec 09
i have the same feeling like somehow since my parents attached lot hope on me so they always accept that i'm also only a normal human .they think i can handle everything easily and can't be hurt by anything. even my wife think i will be strongful to accept anything but sometimes i'm really weak .
@chulce (1537)
• United States
28 Dec 09
atebuds,
No it isn't your fault that you are a strong woman. However, you do need to express your feelings to family and friends, let them know that you too need a shoulder to cry on once in a while or you need to vent your frustration. Help them to understand that you are just like them, only you can handle a little more stress and aggravation than they can.
We all need to feel that someone will be there for us as well. I know how you must feel, I go through this with my family quite regularly. It wasn't until recently, that my family heard me suffering during a crisis that I was having in my family. They finally listened and let me get all of my anger and frustration over the situation out. It was difficult at first but, once they realized that I was also human and just like them, it made a huge difference.
You really need to communicate verbally this need to family and friends so that they can hear your cry.
I wish you the best of luck. And remember communication just like many other obstacles in our lives is a two way street. It takes one to talk and one to listen, if the listener isn't going to hear your cry, then they need to take another look at communication.
@atebuds (187)
• Philippines
28 Dec 09
Thank you for understanding, Chulce. I already tried, but they think I'm acting. That's because they know I can handle myself well. You know how painful that is. How else can I pretend that I am not strong when they know that I am, and see it in me? Ouch! :)
@lizbenetua (637)
• Philippines
28 Dec 09
I know that you have imprinted upon others the impression of being superwoman, it is not bad to tell them once in a while that enough is enough. You are also a human being with emotions, so it will be okay to tell them that I may be "superwoman" ,sometimes. You have to take reins on how to tell people to treat you.
