okay should I have kept my big mouth shut?
By 3cardmonte
@3cardmonte (5098)
January 2, 2010 4:49pm CST
I'll lay it out for you.
I started chatting to this person online, and we got on well and texted each other for about a fortnight, and suddenly this person starts to say really romantic things to me, I mean poetic, flowery romantic stuff about taking the stars out of the sky and all that jazz.
This is from someone I have been chatting to for 2 weeks!!
Don't get me wrong I appreciated her saying these things and I said similar (but not the same level of things)
But the things were so full on they made me question whether or not she genuinely meant any of them.
I explained to her that the things she said were too full on considering she hadn't met me and she seemed to take it well, her tone has slightly changed, should I have kept my mouth shut? or was I right to be honest about how I felt?
What would you have done?
Should I have kept on pretending?
4 people like this
12 responses
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
3 Jan 10
Two weeks? No you were absolutely correct to question her, especially not having met each other. If she was sincere in what she was writing to you I can't see how she could be upset at all. What you need to do is ask yourself why honest would bother her. It sounds to me that she is looking for a fantasy relationship and you are looking for a real one. Am I right?
You didn't do anything wrong so don't feel bad about it. You may still hear from her, but tell her that honesty is important even if it's not always pleasant. If you hadn't said anything, do you think you would feel better if it went on for a few more weeks until she moved on to her next fantasy?
If you hear from her fine. If not, you had two fun weeks and saved yourself from heartache. Never keep your mouth shut if you have reservations.
@3cardmonte (5098)
•
5 Jan 10
you're right, I was looking for a real relationship and I dont think she was.
1 person likes this
@goddey1 (129)
• United States
3 Jan 10
To me, i'll prefer to call a spade a spade. Although, we may hurt some feelings but its always good to be honest with everyone you meet but just one thing i don't usually like online is chatting. There are a lot of impostors out there. So, please beware of these people when your conscience tells you. Right?
@musicman6 (2406)
• United States
2 Jan 10
You were right in being honest about how you felt! The sooner you let the other person know, the better it will be to get out of an uncomfortable situation!
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
3 Jan 10
Nay, Nay and thrice Nay! That's way too quick, and you haven't even met. I'd seriously question the sanity level of someone who can come out with that sort of stuff to a stranger - and I don't mean by that that you are not worthy of such attention, because I'm sure you are. Your personality shines through on here, and you'd be great to know, but to know someone, you have to meet face to face.
The internet is a wonderful thing, but it does allow people to be something they're not. Until you can look at someone and see their reactions and interactions to the things you say to each other, you can't get to know someone. I would think your friend has gone cool because she's probably embarrassed about the whole thing.
@Genericbe (1376)
• Philippines
3 Jan 10
In my opinion, it is better to be honest and say what you really wanted in your views.
As they said, an honest communication in any relationship will lead to a good and growing one.
And in any pretend in a relationship either small will lead to many pretending until lead to a big mistake.
It not bad if you will let her know what is ideal or not. What is real or not. What is the awful truth and not. Sooner, there will come to certain point of realization because of exchanged views.
From that start, both of you will have clear acceptance and understanding one good thought and communication. Who knows, this unexpected circumstances may lead to a better relationship.
@maria1081 (1251)
• Philippines
3 Jan 10
I have experienced the same thing. It wasnt even two weeks and I wasnt even chatting with him. Maybe he just saw a profile of me in a dating site. It was creepy, I was trying to be nice to him by exchanging e-mails but when he started using romantic words I did told him to stop because its ridiculous.
Tell her what you really feels and if she took your words for granted then completely ignore her.
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
3 Jan 10
Always be honest about what you feel. The person on the receiving end might be someone who becomes very important in your life. If you let it carry on and it goes to a place that you're not really comfortable with, then you might lose that potential. Your friend may have changed her tone a little but it'll probably become more natural again. Remember, she's just been told that the stuff she was saying was a bit much. She's going to be overly cautious for awhile, might even come across as cold trying not to go too far. It's natural.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
2 Jan 10
Hello there monte. 
Anyone who presses...who goes from 0 to 60 way too soon is a red flag. You've realized that but now you're second guessing yourself. Don't. When you meet anyone online you have no idea who you're really talking to. This person could be as nice as a warm summer day or someone with psychological problems. Your red flags went off, as they should have, and you were right to attempt to put the brakes on. I would still be leery of this person. Too fast usually equals too pushy and too controlling and a lot of other not so good "too" things.
Anyone who presses...who goes from 0 to 60 way too soon is a red flag. You've realized that but now you're second guessing yourself. Don't. When you meet anyone online you have no idea who you're really talking to. This person could be as nice as a warm summer day or someone with psychological problems. Your red flags went off, as they should have, and you were right to attempt to put the brakes on. I would still be leery of this person. Too fast usually equals too pushy and too controlling and a lot of other not so good "too" things.
@tuyakiki (3016)
• India
2 Jan 10
Probably that woman wants to flirt with you..You may take it casually by letting it as it is..Or its better to speak your heart off to her,just make it clear about what you want or how awful you feel about her.In my opinion pretending is not a good option,you may get into trouble by doing that if she is having any evil intentions....If she speaks too much bogus things after that then you may stop chatting with that woman.
@kashers (649)
• Jamaica
3 Jan 10
u have no problem,u r being real,listen u don't even have to care much if this person stays or goes,cause she is already for and into u,remember,she is the one saying all the sweet stuff,u r the one not feeling that way as yet,so just like how u got lamb,and everyone else that have not met u yet,ready to say yes to u,she will never leave,she just upset u r being more real to the fact of feelings,
@lipstick2009 (1236)
• Philippines
3 Jan 10
Well first..its good to express our feelings , good or bad.
Its one way of getting to know a person.Its better to be vocal than just keep
it to yourself and think badly about this person, which i think would be unfair.
Its either, shes serious or playing with you.Its not impossible to fall for someone, in a matter of two weeks.Or yes shes just trying if u will take a bite.
Its alright u called her attention,,her reaction to this would be very important.
Coz u will somehow have an idea of who she is really
At the end of the ..we should all be cautious in all our dealings online.
@RAVENBLADE0842 (493)
• United States
3 Jan 10
Well if you were uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed than addressing it was the right thing to do. I dont know what exactly was said, but this person may have just overreated in the moment, and may react differently after time has passed. You'll probably know soon enough, if you continue to talk with them.
