How do I get the point across that I am just not interested?

@lilybug (21145)
United States
January 10, 2010 11:08pm CST
The guy across the street gave me his number the other day when I was on my way out to the car and asked me to call him. I didn't call him, so today he came over to offer me some rock salt for the ice on my sidewalk and asked me why I did not call him. My son's birthday was today and I had family over, so I ended the conversation pretty quickly. I told him already that I don't really go out and I don't really want to, but he did not seem to get the hint. So, how do I get the point across without being a jerk?
4 people like this
6 responses
@AmbiePam (55931)
• United States
19 Jan 10
I'd tell him you were already involved with someone else. I've done that before. And no, it isn't lying. I am involved with someone else. My parents, sister, friends, dog...I know some might consider that a lie, but sometimes guys get bitter when we reject them. If they think we are already involved, then they know it is because of another man in your life, and not something they did personally. I don't know if this is something you want to try, but it has served me well. After I rebuffed a guy I worked with about three years ago, I thought of this plan. The guy at work just tried to make each day miserable for me. If I hadn't gotten too sick to work anymore, I was going to file a report. I don't like to be a "snitch", but he was starting to spread rumors about me to other males in my workplace. Oh, and if the guy asks who you're involved with, just say this relationship is just so new, you don't want to talk about it because you don't want to jinx it. A big bunch of bull, but ya know a girls got to do what a girls got to do.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21145)
• United States
20 Jan 10
I have not been bothered by him for a few days now. Hopefully it stays that way. You worked with a real jerk!
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13197)
• United States
11 Jan 10
Just say that you were busy today - it was your son's birthday and you had company, and that it's not him, it's you - you're not interested lol. If you had been interested, you'd have called him, and he knows it.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164180)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Jan 10
hi lilybug well tell him bluntly and swiftly , sorry but i am really just not into you. you deserve a nice pretty young lady that will give you a lotof affection, but I am not that person. sorry.He is not taking the hint so you have to be swiftly merciful and cut things off sharp and at once. that is not being a jerk, that is just being plain spoken and honest. lol lol.
@bunnybon7 (46422)
• Holiday, Florida
8 Mar 10
wow. i hope he didnt become a stalker. as ive heard of these things. to bad i found this late. anyway, maybe you should try telling him you have a very jealous boyfriend (or girlfriend even) hope hes cooled his heals by now and gotten the message
@ronita34 (3923)
• Canada
12 Feb 10
Sometimes the one and only way to get the point across to someone like is to be a jerk ... lol!! Believe me I have had to do it more then a time or two and it gets easier the more you do it. Just tell him that you are not interested and that you have no intentions to ever call him. Also that you have no intentions of giving him false hope and that you are sorry for being so blunt but its just the way it is ... LOL!!!!
• Grand Junction, Colorado
25 Jan 10
Hello Lily, It is very difficult to get your point across when your to nice and not wanting to hurt others fellings, I know this first hand. From reading your discussion you want to know how to get your point across with out sounding like a jerk? However in reading that All I saw was you didn't call him and the next time told him it was your son's b-day and you had family over. Previously you stated to him you don't really go out but you really haven't come right out and said, I'm not interested. Unfortenetly most men don't take hints, you have to tell them directly. I have first hand experience with this and try to be nice and not hurt there feelings, it can be done and if they get there feelings hurt then there over sensitive. A simple I'm not interested in dating at this time should be sufficeint enough. Or I'm not interested in dating at this time because____________. Fill in the blank. Can be because your son is to young, or work or not enough free time, not wanting to spread yourself to thin. Ultimitly you shouldn't be worried about hurting someone elses feelings, if your not interested. And men should be respectful of your feelings and if they aren't then it's not someone you would want to date anyways. That's my two cents worth.