How different are the ways of raising children now from before?

child discipline, parents way to discipline their  - Child discipline are of various ways either by talking or giving advices it may ether be verbally or physical.
Philippines
January 14, 2010 10:25am CST
In my country most parents discipline their child by talking to them verbally and if they answer back in a rude way they are discipline by spanking their butt by a stick and some by belt, they have to kneel on the beans seed or salt, squat for an hours until the children beg to be forgiven and promise to be obedient. Before most parents would adheres to the saying which goes, "Spare the rod and spoil the child". But now days one could not just adheres to that saying as various attempts are now being made to lessen the physical force that many parents have exert in disciplining their child. How about you, How are children being discipline in your place? What kinds of method of discipline are applied by your parents to their children? kindly shares your thoughts. thanks. 1-14-10
7 people like this
18 responses
• United States
14 Jan 10
I can't even get through to my daughter anymore. She knows the law will have my hide if I beat her. I was able to pop her hands for thing s when she was younger. Now she has the whole system in her hands. So I let her live and do for the most part. I have to let her learn on her own.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
hi giftsandbagscom, yeah, i know the regulation in your country is so strict that a light spank would be enough for the children to call a number to help them in case they are being abuses but in turn of the events kids are now smarter so the parents end up being the one abuse..lol. well, seriously speaking the child protection act in your place is highly have high sense of protection for children welfare which is good but it result in misbehaving as in your case your children already know the right way all you could do is to guide her in pursuing the good path.
3 people like this
@zed_k4 (17619)
• Singapore
15 Jan 10
I find that children nowadays are more inclined to be psychologically inclined to talks. Slowly coaxing them, letting them seeing reasons and in some special cases, allowing them to make the minor mistakes so they realize how wrong they have been so that they will not make them again in future. Superb topic here, Neelia.
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
hi zed, That very true and even you I know would not feel good after lot of physical assault even it only done in a slight attack.Isn't it? So even verbal attack would not do well if it is done frequently with repetitive reminder would likely to damage any ears.lol..Well, by the way little advices and soft talk would do good as long as it is properly delegated and even those with disobedient tendency would soften after a heart to heart talk.
2 people like this
@zed_k4 (17619)
• Singapore
10 Feb 10
Your descriptions are cool. Actually you couldn't have said it better. Children tend to rebel more when they are being talked harshly. Sometimes what it takes is just a heart to heart talk; that's all that they need.
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
Yeah, that right and they need a to listen and have the right to heard their voices not only the voices of their parents or guardian. They need to communicate their feeling, including their likes and dislikes and then for the parents to explain their sides the reasons of making rules and the consequences whenever they break it in a acceptable and reasonable ways.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42678)
• United States
15 Jan 10
I only got a spanking when I scared me dad about something. My kids got a spanking on the but Now with grandkids they get time out or something like that and I really dont think it works better than s good old fashion spanking!
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
hi lakota, Well, that something not really to be afraid of it like being part of fun playing jokes with your dad as long as they are gentle slight spank would not do any harm it is like a endearment. of course, that really a big difference how kids ae raise nowdays since instead of parents having to discipline their children at their own right some situation are reverse the parents are driven by fear to discipline their children or else they would be imprison upon their children complain to the authorities particularly the children protection welfare who are the one task to monitor potential abuse by parents or guardian. thanks:)
@Lakota12 (42678)
• United States
11 Feb 10
I know the welfare stepped in where thier noses didnt and dont belong. Can spank your child for doing wrong after repeated dont do that. I mean there is a difference from beating and a spanking on the butt and other people should keep thier noses out of that. Beatings I can see someone stepping in but a spanking HECK NO!
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
15 Jan 10
I don't think children on the majority are disiplined here like they should be. Too many are just let run wild as i call it. I was disiplined when i was growing up. In fact i stayed grounded 90% of my life, lol. When my children were smalled they were made to mind, taught manners as was i & of course they knew just how far to push me. . I wanted people to be glad to see my children not say omgosh here she comes w/those mean kids. lol.
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
hi antique, Too much freedom are given to children nowday which during your time those privileges are limited as they could have more exposure and not grounded like the situation which you have experience before is totally different. Resulting in children being so extrovert and so smart to act that it comes to the core they even think parents as their subordinates since most parents becomes so powerless when it comes to disciplining their children when they tend to abuses the system given by child protection welfare to their advantages using it as their defense against erring parents.thanks:)
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
15 Jan 10
We usually told them about what is right, if they answer back we have a lot of punishment to do besides spanking their butt, commonly lot's of people slapping, pushing the heads or hiting the hands or telling them too make their heads down in the floor with the hands behind the body, and legs are spread out for couple minutes .... it's more than enough to make them discipline, but it's better teach them before they doing the bd things, so the punishment will not be fall to them
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
hi maximilian, It usually happen when the parents becomes so irritated and annoy of their misbehaving children that they are not satisfy in implementing a plain verbal assault since lot of children are likely to test their parents patience to the limit and some parents have a hypertension they easily get lose their temper side from verbal assault they may resort to physical assault and in extreme case becomes too uncontrollable. thanks:)
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
15 Jan 10
THere's alot of difference between disciplining children now and in the past.. haha =D Whatever u mentioned up there, applies to me, when i'm a kid.. BUt for the children i see nowadays, they are rarelt punished by 'force'.. haha =D What they get are just naggings and occasional scoldings.. After which, they are free to do what they want, and end up doing it again.. While some kids will be so spolit that, they will even talk back to parents??!! I guess times had changed, and parents only cared more about money, as well as children's social future, but forgetting about teaching moral values.. haha =D
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Yeah, since their is a law now which is very strict that provides a lot of protection for the children but on the end the parents putting discipline to children is restricted by this law and in the end some parents feel being abused when they could not make stringent measures to control their children behavior. becoming rebellious, disobedient and use the law in their own advantages so that the parents would agree to their demands. They become more dominant and spoiled. Moral values is already taught in schools and the parents then being the first teacher to educate on their children those values should be the first to implement it even when their is restriction, some advices as you say parents care more in money than teaching their parents which is very true in a society which belong to the middle and above class family while those in far flung areas i think the old fashion discipline is still practice...
2 people like this
• Malaysia
15 Jan 10
i don't think the ways are too much different. it's just that, the purposes are the same, like punishing them if your children being rude. but what differs from now and then is the tools. maybe last time parents used to can them, but nowadays, parents would think by restricting their time to use computer and play games, that's some kind of punishment for their misbehavior.
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
hi daniala, Yeah, and that is a way to threat them in a fair way punishable by depriving them of their addiction to technology so the result children would likely follow if not they are going to be grounded for weeks not receiving their full allowances or deprive to use their computer. So far as long as it is properly delegated children still raise to be a good people and they tend to act more mature and responsible when they understand the right or wrong as explain by their parents in a nice way!thanks:)
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
In my environment, children are all rude. Their parents don't care about them. They parents just brought them out in the world , and when they already can walk and run, they will be out of their houses and playing. Their parents, don't care if they will meet an accident in the road. They eat for themselves, their parents don't care. I saw 3 years old killing cats on the street, for him that is what playing is for. Parents never disciplined their child. When the children have bruise, their parents will get angry and spank them in the face and the children will cry and cycle and cyle. If you show your concern on their child, the parents will leave a comment , like who the hell are you teach me how to grow a child? like a smart one huh! I can say now, the parents are brave to bring out a child in this world,but they are not serious in the responsibility. That is why there are many bad people now a days!
@flower21 (766)
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
children are very smart and some are rude they are not easily motivated unlike the children in the past they could still follow their parents command without threatening.
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
hi flower, that really spells the big differences since parent now days have no capability to discipline their children with the use of old school of discipline being afraid to be imprison and so the children becomes spoiled since for the slight offense they could make their parent shivers in fear as they are going to report them to the authorities who protect children rights that in the end the parents are the one felt being bully by their own children so it is a reverse situation. thanks
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
Today children could easily get away from their parents and think more smarter, when parents spank them they could just call the phone number of the authority and would be the one to manage their children complaints. so even the parents like to discipline their child they could not do so being fear of being imprison. in terms of discipline the children in the past are kind most of the times and no rude.
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
hi fan, Yeah, especially those nation who have strict regulation and really protect the rights of children they have more stringent measures. But, the regulation varies per countries to countries and like in my place most parents still practice the old school of discipline to their children which result in good outcomes as their children becomes more well manner and obedient, growing as a responsible and mature adults.
2 people like this
@amyson (3509)
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
children before are more obedient though they are rule by fear they still grown as a good adults. while at present times their is less discipline and children acts more smarter than their parents.
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
hi amyson, Yup, children could be discipline verbally with no direct assault or avoid use of tools which could inflict pain or traumatize child since most of those scenes are retain on their mind as they felt unlived and so their relationship with other people is also affected when they are raise in family whose love, care and support tfor their children are lacking, many children become loner and desperate and hence with no confidence at all since they felt already demoralized.thanks:)
2 people like this
• United States
14 Jan 10
Parents in the United States are powerless over their children. At any point their children can call Child Protective Services, or simply tell the school guidance counselor that their parents disciplined them physically. They WILL and HAVE put parents in jail for spanking their kids for behaving badly. This is why the youth of the United States are for the most part mannerless and rude. They know the power they have over their Parents and they exploit it to the full extent.
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
hi ashrader, Yeah, that really the big differences in terms of discipline since hate parents have no power to discipline their children at any forms that are very extreme and they feel powerless at some point since instead of children fear them they are the one whom children mostly accuse of abuses if they are hurt or spank hard accidentally could be a cause for a parents to be imprison or prosecuted by the same law protecting children welfare. Most children in your places who grown up as adults becomes so spoiled and never in their lifetime they have experience being beaten since the law in your country protect them and have an ax to grind those parents or guardian who maltreat or have use their hands to discipline their own children. thanks.
1 person likes this
@Cutie18f (9560)
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
I prefer pinching because it is not so obvious. Yes, kids need to be reminded when they go out of control. A lot of times misbehavior is due to the fact that parents or adults fail to remind these kids when they are bad. They need this very much since they are still growing up. That is the difference between good kids and bad ones, the former being disciplined at home, and the latter aren't.
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
hi cutie, yup, pinching when done in a cover areas of the body it would be less noticeable but the child should surely cry if the pinch is so hard it would leave them with mark. I think the best thing to discipline children is by setting a good examples the just brief the children of the potential penalty once they break the parents rules and children who listen get a reward for being obedient could also be a good option.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Jan 10
Love can achieve anything in life but it doesn't mean that beating up your child shows no love for your child. It's just an act to make them realize that they are repeating a bad behaviour.
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
hi rajitramesh, yup, i do agree with you as when parents discipline their child in their mind they do not like to hurt them as they feel hurt to see their child being hurt but they have to do it as a form of discipline..
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Jan 10
Discipline is far different today as it was years back. I know that even back when my husband and I were growing up we knew that you didn't talk back to your parents because it was disrespectful and we knew that if we did we got our butts spanked. There was the fear factor back when i was growing up and not so much to where I was afraid of my parents but because I knew that if I didn't listen and respect my parents that I would be punished. Kids now a days don't seem to have that fear of their parents and it has caused kids to talk to back and disrespect their parent and the biggest thing is is all of these kids know that if they talk back no big deal because parents are no longer allowed to spank their kids or they can get in trouble for it. I guess it is a good thing because you had some parents that took it way to far but I also think it has caused the kids to be more out of control. The way i discipline my kids are to first make them stand in for a time out and if it gets worse than I will start to take things away from them..things like video games, television, phone calls, snacks, friends coming over, that sort of thing which in the long run I think works more effectively than the spankings because they get over the spanking within a few minutes but taking away there items that keep them busy seems to bother them more.
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
hi froggielover, Well said, and those spanking moments happen from the reactions of parents from rude and entirely mischievous children who really have a tendency to reply back on their parents with out most rudeness. yeah, those things you mention like depriving them of their entire addiction makes the children surrender to their parents condition which is alright as potential violence out of discipline in any form is avoided. That is the beginning of healthy relationship form between parents and children basically identifying the needs and the rules without entirely harming them in the process of doing the discipline which may be verbally and with the absence physical assault.
1 person likes this
@nautilus33 (1831)
14 Jan 10
Hi! The ways of raising children now are much more different from the ways when I was a child. I think today is more difficult to raise a child, if you want to give it a good, I mean really good education. With the computers and the other things, the kids don't go so often out to play with their friends, they learn more uncensored thing from the internet. I am a teacher and see the behavior of my students- they are so vulgar and so nasty! I even wonder if they are the kids or I am! SO I am for the old ways!!!
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
hi nautilus, Yeah, with the introduction of the internet most children are not socially go out to play with a team as they are mote comfortable in playing virtual games even without playmates. then when the parents is not around they could search the net including those uncensored websites they get some of the incredulous ideas which even adults in disbelief didn't know children are capable of earning those bad manner due to the things which they saw on their computer as they appear more smarter but their cunning skill need to be control or else even the parents could suffer for their nasty behavior destroy any respect.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (5625)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Jan 10
Quite often now a days most parents take a hands-off approach to child raising. Here in our country juvinial crime is climbing and children younger and younger are finding themselves in detenion centers because busy parents don't take the time to properlly displine their kids. They leave it up to daycare centers and schools to do the job for them. However, the persentage of parents that are actually being parents are finding new methods of displine. Spanking is considered a form of abuse mainly because agression is often taken out on the child. In turn instead of learning, that you do something wrong, you get spanked, children take it as, Okay I did something my parents disapprove of so if I'm angry-- then I can be viloant hit slap bite attack etc-- to feel better. They aren't learning a right or wrong from the behavior. Now a days, at least here in the US, parents are encouraged to use a punishment system with conquances. At the same time the conquances are explained to the child so they come to understand that it was their actions that created the reactions of the parent. This, in my opinion, is the right way for children to understand the value of right and wrong.
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
hi kaylachan, Yeah, essential discipline does not come easy fro every parents task and often they get a lot of complaints if the manner they carried out their child discipline lead to unwanted arguments and different reactions. So in your places as i know have a very strict regulation protecting the child welfare and since the system is created as often as possible it would creates a good situation preventing parents to hurt their child in any manner of discipline. Though, the kids becomes smarter that a light reprimand would be enough to make the parents being accused of abuse which is being avoided at long time for the fear of the law.Thus, the child become the abusive one and parents could not demand or reprimand them well instead they are there to advices with absences of any physical maltreatment.
2 people like this
@bellis716 (4804)
• United States
16 Jan 10
When I was a child, many, many years ago most children were spanked when they misbehaved. My mother would talk to us and explain why our behavior was unacceptable. She only had to spank me once. That was for sassing her. My father did not understand children. He would just grab the strap. I frequently didn't know why I was being punished. Now parents are afraid to use corporal punishment on their children for fear of being reported as a child abuser. There should be a middle ground.