How would you react if you find out that your bf/gf still has contact with ex?

Philippines
January 14, 2010 11:15am CST
I don't know if I am just too jealous or very possessive but I really don't want my bf to still be open in communication to any of his ex-es, though it might sound so selfish but theirs is already of the past. A text of any quotations and greetings piss me off, especially now that he knows I am so skeptical when he says a friend is texting him, I'm almost so tempted to view his inbox. Am I normal? Are there lots of girls undergo the same situation and behavior?
8 responses
@nautilus33 (1831)
14 Jan 10
HI! if a have knew about it and she tells me everything I will not be very angry, but if she didn't tell me anything and I catch them or some one else tell it to me, than i will be very angry to her. We will not probably break up, but I will not talk to her for a weeks
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
You are very true, it is really as simple as informing us that the ex contacted him/her, the more that they hide that from you, the more we will suspect that there is something about their exchange of SMS/communication why will they still need to hide. Grrrr!!! I really burst out when I remember how a girl flirts to my bf! Arghh!!!
• Philippines
13 Apr 10
Of course I will get jealous but I would ask him if their relationship is only limited to being friends coz if not, better break up with me.
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
16 Jan 10
It's normal to feel that way. I am not in a relationship right now. But I remember feeling very irritated with my boyfriend before when I found out that he is still communicating with his ex-girlfriend. I feel jealous even though I know it's all in the past. It's one of the reasons why I no longer trust him.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
15 Jan 10
I think that's normal for us girls...we are more emotional than a guy. I myself doing it, but I didn't tell it to my husband, I don't see anything wrong but I prefer not telling him that id still have contact with them., as long as I am faithful to him. Same with him, as long as he's faithful to me.. I won't bother to ask anything about his past, and if ever he'll say that he still have a contact with his ex?? I dont know...perhaps i'll be jealous too.he he
• United States
15 Jan 10
I wouldnt allow them unless they had children together then that is differnt but there is also a line u draw lol!
@ravend (660)
• Malta
14 Jan 10
Hi Marzha! I understanf your jealousy, and its quite normal, after all, these girls had a romantic relationship with your bf. Buit please, they are EXES. They are exes for a reason. You know, I was previously in a very serious relationship, almost engaged, than I got tired of the guy being too jealous of me, and he got tired of me being really "free" and he dumped me for the first desperate girl he met that would approve of his jealous attitude. He is now engaged to her. I still talk to him,ocassionally on fb or msn, we are on good terms, and my bf knows about this. I was going to take this ex to repair my pc too, and he even helped me with a health issue concerning my current bf. His aunt is still friends with my mum. Why doesn't my bf feel jealous, and I do not feel the need to hide from him, because, for the reasons I have explained, they are exes for a reason or another, and right now, in the present, he chose to be with YOU. So that alone should make you feel more special than those exes. Sweety, I understand that you feel jealous and insecure about som things. But, I believe, that by trusting your bf, and NOT invading on his privacy (like reading his inbox), even though you are dying to do so, will show how much you love him by believing he's telling you the truth. After all, if he lets you know he still talks to an ex, it means he's not the type of person that treats people as rubbish and puts them aside. :). Keep in mind this: They are exes for a reason. ;)
@ElsaElsa (327)
• United States
14 Jan 10
I think you are perfectly normal. It may appear to others as you being insecure about your man and his feelings for you but really you are doing the right thing. Because men are only human to be in touch with an old gf can bring on some good memories that they may begin to miss. I would too react the same way you are if I found the same about my husband. But I think your approach should be different. Instead of getting angry and bursting, tell him that you don't want him to be in touch with past gfs because that will bring insecurities in your relationship with him. Be more sympathetic than defensive and see his reaction. If it goes down well, he'll continue to be open with you and stop these activities. But if you continue to nag him he might be more provoked to continue. That's just how human nature is. Good luck.
• Philippines
14 Jan 10
uhmm.. i would break his skull, hahaha... but i gues i won't see mysel doig that cause before i commit mysel to someone, i always say that im a jealous-selfish type o guy. hehe