Only in America
By lizardgod
@lizardgod (443)
United States
January 15, 2010 5:25pm CST
Just some funny thoughts I ran across and thought I would share.
These are things you can only find in America.
Assume these all start with "Only in America..."
1. Can you get a pizza to your house faster than an ambulance
2. Are there handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink.
3. Do drugstores make sick people walk to the back of the store for their prescriptions but the healthy can get their cigarettes at the front of the store.
4. Do people order a double cheese burger, a super size fries, and a DIET coke.
5. Do banks leave both doors to the vault open but chain the pens to the table.
6. Do people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put useless junk in the garage.
7. Do people have answering machines to screen calls and then pay for call waiting so that we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Do we buy hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8
9. Do we use the work "politics" to describe the process so well. In latin Poli means many and tics are bloodsucking creatures.
10. Do they have drive up ATM machines with Braille writing on it. (Braille is writing for the blind.)
11. Do war veterans live in cardboard boxes and draft dodgers live in the White House.
I thought several of them were funny.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@merlinsorca (1118)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Those are really good, and they are funny but it's also sad that they are true for most people.
Maybe if we bought eight packages of 10 hot dogs, and then ten packages of 8 buns then it would match. So there would be 80 total hot dogs, and everything would be alright?
@lizardgod (443)
• United States
16 Jan 10
I think that is actually the idea, forcing people to continue buying them until they match.
@lizardgod (443)
• United States
17 Jan 10
That is what I do :) Wrap up a hot dog with a slice of cheese :)
Of course this leads to another consumer issue. Sliced cheese usually comes in packages that divide by 8. Usually 16 or 24, and of course this means you run out of cheese before you run out of hot dogs.
Hmm all this talk about this makes me actually wonder if some one up in marketing decided to do these things on purpose.
@merlinsorca (1118)
• United States
16 Jan 10
You're right. . . They make it like that so we do have to buy more to actually have it match. Or, maybe people could just eat two hot dogs without any buns. Then it won't have to match?
@AShraderJr (156)
• United States
15 Jan 10
Fantastic List! Everyone of of them make me chuckle. We do live in a profound country don't we. I like #11 the BEST!
You could also add:
"Do people import and manufacture Hemp products, but make the cultivation illegal." That's just one that has been on my mind. :o) -Tony
@lizardgod (443)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Nice never thought about that. They are starting to lighten up a bit on Hemp farming now though in certain areas but that is pretty funny.
Another import/export I thought was funny is from the state I live in. I live in Arkansas and we are the USA's number 1 state for exporting rice...Which I didn't even know cause I have lived here most of my life and never seen a rice patty that I know of...the funny thing is...we export the rice to china lol.
@AShraderJr (156)
• United States
16 Jan 10
HaHa That's great. That's ridiculous! I think maybe we should eat our rice and they should eat there's It would save a lot of fuel money don't you think. Don't get me wrong I love free trade. It's awesome to be able to get things from other places that we don't have. But that's just silly!
I actually started a discussion about the US starting to vote in favor of cannabis. It seems like things are moving in the right direction!
:o)-Tony
@uath13 (8192)
• United States
16 Jan 10
You know we do the same thing with our oil. The pumps in Texas & Alaska that are actually working are all producing oil that will be shipped to China. Meanwhile we import oil from the middle east which is far closer to China. What a ship can't sail eastward?
@lizardgod (443)
• United States
16 Jan 10
ahhh Enron. :)
America definitely makes it easy to make fun of itself.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
15 Jan 10
...and where else would people get multi-billion dollar bonuses for impoverishing the hardest working of us?
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
16 Jan 10
As society continues to change, I wouldn't count on gaining such patience. It gets more difficult to deal with kids every year. Still, I love it!
@lizardgod (443)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Yeah seems like they are tons wilder than even when I was in school at that was not that long ago really. We will see, I still think I want to be a teacher, but maybe not elem or high school. Might try to be a college instructor or maybe a seminar speaker. I have done the speaker role before and that was a lot of fun and something I could really find myself enjoying.
@lizardgod (443)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Agreed cobra, I assume you are a teacher which is a profession I really respect, I would love to be one myself someday but it will probably be a job I take on a little later in life when my patience for "snot nosed brats" increases a little. :)
1 person likes this
@greenfeathers (1206)
• United States
18 Jan 10
Well, let's see here..
Only in America..Do we worry about the humane treatment of murders while killing our unborns out of convenience..
..Do we attend ecology rallies in suv's..
..Do we condemn our youth for their choice of clothes, music and personal adornments and attend sporting venues in body paint and peculiar costumes..
Thanks for kicking this old brain of of duh mode..My favorite is #11!!!
Enjoy!
