How to control your anger?
By ladysakurax
@ladysakurax (1161)
Canada
January 16, 2010 12:37pm CST
Hi everyone,
I hope you all had a nice week because mine was ruined. I had an augument with a classmate and I made a discussion about it last time. After the argument, it seems like we sort it out and made peace and agreed to talk to each other normally if it happens that we cross each other at school. However, I still feel angry inside of me and it's affecting my schoolwork. All the things that has been said has hurt me and i just can't forget it. I just want to ignore what hapenned but everytime I open up my textbook to read, he pops up in my head trashing things at me. Although we agreed to make peace, i think i will keep my distance and just talk of what is necessary. Did someone experience something like this before? How do you move on? Or maybe that i just need some time to forget about it? It has been since yesterday morning since that event and i can't stop thinking about it. It's like a song stuck in your head and can't get it out.
1 person likes this
17 responses
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
16 Jan 10
That is a bit of a problem especially if it is starting to effect your schoolwork. You have two choices, either you ignore and forget the whole nasty situation or you go back to him and sort and talk this out properly. It actually sounds like this argument wasn,t resolved. Please try and sort this thing out now. It will make you feel better.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
It will be hard to solve this problem because he is sexist and he grew up to be that way. I don't think there's a way for me to change him except for me to ignore the whole stupid situation.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
Actually, i just send him a last message. I told him that we shouldn't be friends anymore and that he should do his own things and I should concentrate on mine. I want to have peace and that he is affecting me psychologically. He has alot of friends as he says so one friend lost shouldn't affect his life and that we should move on. On that, I said wished him goodluck on his studies. He then replied with a weird letter that he loves me with a divine love of god and he will simple smile at me if he sees me. I am soo glad that it ended in a nice way and I don't have to be a friend with someone who has no respect for me.
@jho2010 (155)
• Philippines
17 Jan 10
Your anger will naturally subside as time pass by, but if not, well it's not good for your health.Anger is like a poison, it will corrupt your better nature.
Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive (not aggressive)manner is the healthiest way to express anger. Anger can be suppressed and then redirected, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. Finally you can calm down inside, its not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, calm yourself and let the feelings subside.
Remember being angry is actually punishing yourself at the mistakes of others.
Have a nice week ahead!
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
18 Jan 10
I love your quote. It's true that that being angry is punishing myself st someone's stupidity. You just nailed it. I think i can move on now. lol thank you
@jho2010 (155)
• Philippines
18 Jan 10
well that's great!!!why waste your time punishing yourself? and let me add also anger makes us look ugly and it will add more wrinkles on your face.Im sure you would not like it, me either... :-0
So, now that your decided to move on, keep it up and keep smiling, im sure you have many reasons to smile.life is too short to live, let's enjoy while were here with our loved ones.
@allknowing (130066)
• India
17 Jan 10
My advice to you would be not to rush into things. Anything takes time to settle down. You must be knowing the famous quote "after the storm comes the calm, after the calm comes the sunshine" So take time over that 'calm' phase and sunshine will definitely come again. Everyone hurts each other at some point in one's life and it is an on going thing. One cannot afford to 'chew the cud' as that will stop progress!
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
17 Jan 10
yes it's true about that. I think it's good to control anger. I did rush in the past and say hurtful thigns that I regret later on and feel stupid. But this time, i didn't say anything hurtful so i didn't do anything wrong. I know I will surely forget him in a month.
@worldbestwriter2008 (1633)
• Philippines
17 Jan 10
counting from 1 to 10 or more ..like even up to 100 to 500 counts will gonna controlled your anger..i experienced this...and i'm so happy once my anger got lost..it's just like feeling back to normal again and have the guts to smile again..sometime i have just to eat anything spicy or cruncy food., that will gonna help me stop my anger..
1 person likes this
@alexysabelle (905)
• Philippines
17 Jan 10
angry resurface or does not go away when it ws not dealt with properly. though you talk and promise to make peace with the person who is an object of your anger but still the feeling is there because the issues is not talked about probably.
since, you both agree to have peace, i think you are right in saying that you might keep distance from her for while. it helps, yeah..
Good luck and God Bless!
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
18 Jan 10
hmm yes he's a person who takes everything too seriously and wouldn't talk reasonnely. So nothing can get really fixed when one person only wants to hear about himself. I have decided to follow that path of taking my distance.
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Well, I am prone to bouts of anger. It is only human, we all have our days where we might be short tempered. The key thing would be to walk away from the issue before it escalates. Take the high road. Still things can get to us. I suppose by keeping occupied is the best way to calm down. Do something else whenever possible, step back, take a deep breath, try and not think about the issue. Sure it is hard but bouts of anger can be hard on a person.
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@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
Yes it is a bit hard.I was eating lunch with my family and the face of the guy was just in my way. But I sent him a mail that i don't want to be friends with him anymore because I want peace. He showed off that he has alot of friends so one less shouldn't affect him. He replied saying that he understands that I don't like him and will just smile at me if he sees me. I feel much lighter ...like - 50 kg. I can move on now :)
@codeofuniverse (558)
• India
16 Jan 10
it is very simple to control the anger.. by using meditation and yoga technic we can control our all senses so that lead to control our body and mind.. these techniques are very easy and didnt have to pay any money to any one..just by doing pranayam every day.. we can control our anger...
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
Thank you for your suggestion. i just did a research and tried it. Strangely, it does feel relieving. My family is bouddishm and grandma goes at the temple for mediation and she does say that it helps you on being tolerant and more calm. I didn't think about this. Thanks for this tip.
@codeofuniverse (558)
• India
16 Jan 10
yes it give benefit in your life and useful for every one.. it never take more time initially u can start with 2-3 minutes and then can increase day by day
1 person likes this
@hireshd (490)
• India
17 Jan 10
controlling the anger is very easy if you really think you are to control it, the best technique is to think of something weird and then try generating a logic for the same in this way you are diverting your mind in something and the reason of thinking something weird is to take more time in develoing a logic if you think of something very simple then you would get something and you would focus on your anger, another technique and very efficient is start counting till you dont get rid of it, do not react out of anger and till the time you are not in control of your mind.
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
18 Jan 10
I will try counting lol. Everytime I think about him, I'll just count numbers. thx for the tip
@jules67 (2788)
• Philippines
17 Jan 10
Forgetting anger that has left an indelible mark in your heart is something that is impossible. Even if it takes years, that mark is still inside you and will at one point or another will resurface and could heal an open wound. I easily get angry myself. But there is one thing that struck me awhile back while listening to the homily of the priest, it is going to ruin me if I let it affect me. I do small self-talk just to remind me that I should not let anger control myself.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
18 Jan 10
Indeed! There are things that we can't just forget. Till now, I feel less angry but it's still hurt me. But i believe that when someone realize he\she has hurt someone, the burden to carry the regret and remorse is even greater than being hurt. That's what my mom said. That's where the meaning comes from "Forgive but can't forget".
@krishnanmca (35)
• India
17 Jan 10
hello sakurax,
every in this world must meet the same situation in their life. i have the same experience. but past i did wrongly. now if i feel this situation, i simply kept silence. and watch what will happen. before getting angry and jumping for angry never get the good result.
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
17 Jan 10
Although I get angry, I do control things i do and think twice about things i say. This guy was sexist and said that women are below men. He also added that i should quit school and go back into the kitchen. On top of that, he called me with all the names you can imagine. I didn't throw any insults back because i believe it's not something that can fix the problem. Then all of a sudden he says let's make peace. I just feel there's unfinished business.
@nautilus33 (1827)
•
16 Jan 10
HI! If I must be fair, I can't control my anger. When someone makes me go crazy, I get very nervous and I can't control myself. If there is something near me, I break it or begin hitting in the wall or the door, or if I am out side I kick the first thing that I see! I don't know, why am I so nervous, sometimes I manage to control myself, but it happens very rarely! Maybe I should go to a therapy, but I really don't know where and i think I can't afford it!
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@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
I was like that too. I used to have a very violent temper. I would throw things around my house, scream, and do all sort of crazy things. I also feel that my body gets cold and gets a little shaky. My throat gets tight as well. Fortunately, I can now control it. Because i think that I damage too much things or say things out of anger and then I can regret it later on. So I just take a towel and place it on my face to cry on it. My problem is that I can't let go the grudge
@dsnachiever (250)
• India
16 Jan 10
Hey friend I also have the problem of getting angry easily and often. There are many techniques available. One of the techniques I heard in an interview of a famous lady in tv. I tried this technique and it is working on me. whenever I get angry, I start counting in descending order (from 10 to 1) and do it multiple times. Although it seems funny in starting but it is working for me. Try it out.
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
It does sound a little odd but i don't mind giving it a try next time such stuation happens again. thank you
@stand87 (664)
• Bulgaria
16 Jan 10
To hold your anger is not so difficult thing. But sometimes we just can't stay calm and nice. When the things are going wrong we're nervous. When lots of things go wrong we're full of anger. I always try to stay calm and ignore the bad feelings. But it's hard when almost everything stresses you.
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@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
yes that's my case. I can handle everything as long as we can all talk as adults and don't use fool language. My mom taught me to have class and to not act like a savage. So when someone is acting like a savage, it's hard to deal things. I am not the type of person to accept all kinds of insults. At least the person should apologize but it wasn't the case. Then making peace without taking responsability is just unfair to me.
@syedayub (252)
• India
17 Jan 10
My dear friend, It happen to every one, why beacause, we are close to them, when an arugument happens between us, it stucks in to over mind, it really distrubs you in our activities. Best way to come out of such suitution is, spend as much time as you spend with your loved ones, it makes you happy.
The best why to control you anger is, when arugument occurs just divert it.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
17 Jan 10
I agree about that. I went shopping with mom and it does feel good. I didn't think about the unfortuante situation as before. thanks
@chase717 (65)
• United States
17 Jan 10
I know this is easier said than done,but sometimes you have to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. I've come to find out that if you think more positive you'll feel much better. If you change your thoughts, it just might change your life. Read about limiting beliefs. Hope this helps.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
18 Jan 10
yes I'll try to be more positive and not let the insults get at me. My friends all tell me that he's just one of a million to be a moron like that. So I guess that I was simply unlucky.
@shambhukumar (763)
• India
16 Jan 10
i just go out of the place and my anger get controlled. if i am angry with you and have become anger then i will leave the place where u r and then i will become cool. i don't know any other method to control my tamper.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
i am at hom right now and the guy isn't here. but my anger is decreasing bit by bit...
@jzumari (101)
• Philippines
17 Jan 10
A very effective way of controlling anger is to count from 1 to 10 whenever you feel that you are bursting out your temper. This helps a lot as it provides time for you to subside your ranging feelings. However, if you are really that angry, you can consider thinking funny faces on the person that you are angry with, like thinking that he is bald even though he is not. :D
@enieweiz (97)
•
25 Jan 10
i think it's just normal, take your time. you will soon laugh about it. just distance yourself from that person, you may just find yourself angry again. time will get it out of your head, maybe you could keep yourself busy in the mean time. maybe that will help you get over it.
