On My Own

@arystine (1273)
Philippines
January 20, 2010 5:40am CST
Sudden changes in my life forced me to live on my own again. In a snap, I have to force myself to be strong and independent. But the loss of a loved one still breaks me into a million pieces and being alone makes me cry even more. I'm trying to move on and to appreciate my new life. But this is one change that I did not like one bit because a loved one was taken away from me. My fellow MyLotters, I need your words on how to move on and how to be survive, on my own.
3 people like this
12 responses
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
As I have not yet experienced losing a family member, I think the best thing that I can say is that only God can give you comfort during this time of grief. Only HE can give you strength to face each day and find that there is hope despite the loss of a loved one. HE knows your struggles and your pain. HE is the best one to run to whenever you are experiencing those moments of depression when you are alone. He knows the innermost feelings of your heart. Cry out to Him when you are in despair. I hope I was able to atleast help.
@DenverLC (1143)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Perfectly said Hannah.
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Sometimes I feel that I am not even praying anymore. I am talking, communicating to God with fervor to welcome my father into his kingdom. I also ask him to heal me and to keep me strong for my family.
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
to hrvillares: You said it well. Only God can help us during this kind of situation. to arystine: I know its hard but you are not on your own. You still have your families. Your father is happy now because he is with GOD and he is free, no problems, no fear, no hurt feelings and others. Just always pray for your father and continue your life with your remaining love ones.
@DenverLC (1143)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Just let it go, cry if you need too, think as much as you can. Time will heal the wound at its right attack. For now, stay positive and strong in any way you can think that are helpful. Remember always that your father is resting in peace, if you remain in such loneliness for long, his soul might be bothered. Offer him a happy prayer everytime his memories touches your nerve. He always wanted you to stay happy for sure, soul knows how to cry too, better give him a reason to smile and to move along just like you.
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Yes, I know that my dad is at his happiest when he knows about my achievements in life. But it makes me sad that when I achieve something, I will no longer be able to see his proud smile, his face shining with pride because of his favorite daughter's latest achievement. I'll try to keep reading your response to remind myself to move on and be strong.
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
21 Jan 10
Again? that's means twice, am i right? Be strong girl, you can pass the first barriers, so i think you can do it again! It's only the matter of time, i hope this sadness didn't drop you 'till down, you still have a future, and maybe there is a better way of life for you in the future, you must move, and when you move on, you already have better experience to make you strong than before or to contend the similar problem
@amanda08 (647)
• United States
21 Jan 10
I am so sorry about your loss. Are you a religious person? First of all that may be a way to help yourself feel better spiritually. Also, maybe you should try setting some goals for yourself- maybe continuing your education and/or setting career goals. Studying in itself is definetly a way to keep yourself busy and your mind busy as well. Another idea is to get a pet- anything you can cuddle up to and enjoy spending time with. Dog, cat, etc. You can also get involved with charities- this is something that I do, if you need any info about this I can give you information about how to get involved with legitimate charities such as UNICEF, American Red Cross, Save the Children, etc. There are many different charities that involve different things. For example, there are charities specifically for orphans, animals, hunger relief projects, fresh water projects, save the rainforest, etc, etc, etc. I hope that this helps you- I know that we do not know each other but just let me know if you need information about anything that I have mentioned, and I really am sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you.
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
I am so touched with your concern. I'm trying to set goals for myself so that I can move on easily. Am trying to make myself busy with work. So as not to have idle time and think about my loss.
@Mousego (17)
• China
20 Jan 10
Dear Arystine, I can understand your condition. When I enter my junior school. I left my home and live in school. At that time, I feel not good and want old life. But please insist on what are you now. You will do it. In past few days, I suffered sick, I was alone in a far city from my home, but one of my Russian customer told me that I can watch the movie Avende, it is very good to see. People can become strong. I think you can watch it. Good luck for you. Gaby.
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
It feels like life was happy back then. Not perfect, but I'm fulfilled. Now that I lost a loved one, it seems as if I can't appreciate much the changes because of the pain in my heart. Thanks for the response.
@jenn_ley (13)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
loosing someone isnt easy. much more if its your other half. but i will not tell you about how painful to be in your situation. but i suggest you cry it all out, give it a week, or a month! or even a year. but you need to get up! you need to move on!. you have bills to pay. you have future to prepare today. have a friend to stay with you. laugh a lot! hug the people who are there for you! talk to your friends!...friends is what you need right now. and our family is always there for us! they are all you need right now.
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
Thanks for reminding me of the reasons why I have to move on with my life. I cry everyday, sometimes I cry hard, sometimes tears jsut fall when I'm travelling. I'm wondering when the day will come that there will be no more tears of sadness.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
20 Jan 10
sorry for your loss. i cannot imagine how you feel but i can tell you about my experience. my dad passed away last february and being an only child, i have had to do a lot for my mom. it will get better but it will take time. dont be too hard on yourself.
@derek_a (10874)
20 Jan 10
I have found myself alone on many occasions during my life. I tend to practice meditation and instead of trying to avoid the "alone-ness" I face it in my Zen meditation. I then gain a presence of Self and transcend the loneliness and soon I am quite content with my own company. I know this is not easy and not everybody can do this and I think you are facing you circumstances very well. It is OK to be upset from time to time, this is bound to happen in life. If we can find our own inner support and strength, it is remarkable who we manage with life's ups and downs. I send you love, light and strength.. Derek
@vivianchen (2646)
• China
21 Jan 10
Hi Arystine, I am sorry about what happened to you recently. I know it's tough at the beginning of being alone again, and facing all the things that have memories for you both. But life must be carry on, think about the family around you, they wantd you to be happy, maybe you can't right now, but take it slow. Time is the best medicine to cure the pain. God bless you!
@Tallygirl09 (1380)
• United States
20 Jan 10
I am sorry to hear that you are going thru such a tough time. I can relate as there have been many changes in my life lately that have made me wish they hadn't happened. But we have to accept what we cannot change and try to focus on what is good about the changes. There is always something good to find even tho you are grieving for the past. I remember one painful breakup and I was so sad and cried whenever I thought about him. But then one day I realized the toilet seat was down and there was no yucky toothpaste in the sink to clean up. Not much but it was something that I appreciated! Try to think of something that you enjoy that you can do to pamper yourself whether it be taking a nice long bath with scents or reading a good book...something that makes you enjoy yourself even if only for a few moments. And remember without the pain in life, there can be no true Joy!! Be Well and know that it will get better in time.
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
Living on your own is sad and empty but sometimes it makes you more stronger and gives you a reason to strive more. You recently lost a loved one and it is so depressing so I advise you not to leave alone because people in your situation should always have a company to comfort you and the one who can be a shoulder to cry on.
@lazuardy (152)
• Indonesia
20 Jan 10
Basically, humans were created to lives in pairs. If you would like live independently it could be difficult to do. Especially with the current state of your broken heart like this. Still you have to socialize, make many friends will be able to entertain you. Or if not, try searching activities, such as working late. So you're tired to sleep without knowing it. So there is no time to remember him.