Which can you forgive easier , things done to you or said to you?

That really depends on the situation, but for the most things that are done to you can heal or be fixed. Not everything that is said to you can be forgiven so easily. The problem things said to you can make you feel emotions that will cause you to never ever forget how you felt. Growing the way I did with a disability I faced alot of vindictive prejudice because of the way I walked. As most of us know children can be very cruel, and so can many adults simply out of ignorance. Be that as it may, I have moved on a great with my life and it doesn't really effect as an adult, but that doesn't I will ever forget how I treated and made to feel simply because I was different than the norm.

This was my situation last weekend. I had an argument with a classmate who is very religious. He's a chrstian but we talk about school most of the time. Then one day, he got mad at me because of my msn nickname "the hating girl" which is a name of a comic. He said it's against his religion and that I have nothing positive. Then he went further to very nasty things like calling me names and said that women should go in the kitchen instead of going to school. he also added that women will NEVER be equal to men and that 98% of women are sl*** and I am one of them...bla bla bla. At the end, he wanted to make peace. I accepted in the beginning but I felt that inside of me, I didn't want to. It was just unfair that he would throw all kinds of insult at me without even saying sorry. I am a type of person who talks like an adult without using fool language and i am not the type to accept insults either. I just told him that I didn't want to be friends anymore and he says that my religion is bad because I hold grudge....what an as*****. I can forgive in only 1 condition which is when someone's apologize is sincere...unfortunately, it doesn't come out often.

Hi Sarah! I can understand your point of view that sometimes bitter words directed towards us could do more harm to us than anything else. I also feel pretty bad and hurt when someone uses disrespectful words for me. If it is possible to severe relations with him/her, I do not hesistate because I feel that if a person cannot respect me, s/he has not business to be my friend/relative. I try to forget past bitter incidents because keeping alive does not help much. I try to remember only 'positive' incidents. Take Care! Deepak

Hi sarahruthbeth22. I can't forgive what was done to me. If something was said then it would make me very upset. But, in the end, I will forgive them in the end. It may take some time for my wounds to heal.

Bad things said and done just cannot be unsaid and undone. In terms of forgiving, that depends. I could forgive someone who had said hurtful things in my face, in time though. But I just couldn't forget it. It's harder for me to forgive someone who had done me wrong intentionally, especially when I've been nice to them all along.

Everything if forgivable as long as it comes from the heart. Sincerity is the key. Yes, you might be hurt by those actions and words, but you might consider, "what make that person do and say those things? Is there something wrong with me?".. it can be a reminder to us that we're not perfect or at least we're not that person who never commits mistakes. Humans are bounds to create mistakes, but there's always a second chance for us to forgive and be forgiven as well. I really believe that everything can be patch up if your heart is always ready to listen.

For me it would be the opposite...things that people have done.....I have alot of different senerios where people have done some pretty crappy things to me and they stay in my mind alot longer then words that have been said.

You make a great point there. It was put quite well actually. I think that it depends for me. What is said, and what was done. I know accidents happen, but there are somethings that a person can do that can really break your heart. However, words can be just as powerful. I am at a tie on this one.

Ha, I guess I'm the opposite as you. I think that.. people tend to open their mouths without thinking at times and so it's understandable if someone says the wrong thing and gets me upset. People don't always mean the things that they say, and even I've found myself in situations where I've said something I didn't truly mean and hurt the person because of what I said. I find that words don't affect me as much as actions do. I can't really explain it.

It depends upon the person. I remember my friend said after a little trouble, it's better said than done. But there are some too which can really tell that a word is mightier than an act. So that always depends to the situation or even to the person who did the wrong act.

Sarah, has somebody hurt you? If so I will have to take care of them!!! You are too nice of a person. I too am like you. I do not have much forgiveness for people that intentionally deceive me. Funny you posted this question today because I am currently in a situation where someone "blew me out" and now that some time has passed they just expect me to forget about the incident and everything be like old times again. I want to throw my cell phone in the toilet! Hate getting the text messages!! I'm a very loving person but when you turn on me That's It!!! No going back. My motto: Life is too short for sh#t!!

In my case, I really don't hold on grudges on someone. I easily get mad about some wrong things done and said to me but I never really take it for the rest of my life. I may not be a friend to that person again but I will surely not hate him/her. I can forgive both as long as the person sincerely asks for an apology.

I'd say that it depends on what was said or done. If you stepped on someones foot ok yeah thats understandable , but if you hit someone or cheated on them. I would ni=ot forgive them. If they saud something it is way easier to forgive them. SOmetimes when people vent they say things that don't mean.

based on my exp. most often, i can forgive thing that are said to me easier. because thing that are said are more forgettable than what someone done to you....

Dear friend, For me I find it at times difficult to forgive when some of the talks and dos hurts me deep. Anyhow I wish to forgive and forget, but those things hurts me deep never allows me to forgive even if I want to.

its easier things that was said to me, but it also depend on what have been done too me though. i am having that issue now with the dude who sexaul assulted my daughter i cant let it go or forgive

It depends who it is that says or does something to me. I don't care much about someone I hardly know so they are easier to forgive than someone I love. I guess it's because my loved ones mean so much to me that what they do or say really affects me. If it's someone I don't know well...I just bite back and move on. No big deal.

It is said that words can create deeper wounds than any action ever could.That is why it is advised to think twice before speaking.Although I find it hard myself to do the same as I am an impulsive person but that really is the right thing to do...:).Physical wounds heal most of the times but the emotional ones don't.All said and done,forgiveness is a virtue.No matter how cruel or unfair somebody has been to us,we should learn to forgive.It feels great after forgiving someone..:)

hi,we cant forget the hurtful things done to us,nor the hurting things said to us.But we know we cant to anything.Forgiving can give us mental peace.thinking of the things hurt by someone can make us more and more in to depression.the best thing is forgive and forget.

said to me