will i give in?

@chesaid (104)
Philippines
January 21, 2010 5:07am CST
my boyfriend is an egyptian. he is so jealous everytime a guy friend will call me or talk to me. even before we met, i already have lots of male friends. he said to me that i have to stop talking to my male friends and when i asked why, he just said that he doesn't want me to talk to them and even he, he doesn't have a girl friend. this is the always reason of our fights. i love my boyfriend but i also love my friends. i just can't understand his reasons why i need to stop talking with my guy friends. he said he trust me. but i don't think that it is true.
6 people like this
35 responses
@Rikogei (107)
• China
22 Jan 10
I think that your boyfriend is selfish.If he really loves you he should respect your thoughts,shouldn't keep you away from your friends.I don't like that kind of man,he just treats you as his things not a person.I just tell my own thoughts about this thing,I don't mean to offend any of you~
1 person likes this
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
hi chesaid! my sister-in-law's husband is an egyptian. she wont even understand him during their early relationship coz a simple holding hands on her male friends becomes a very big issue for both of them. but when she learned about their culture, she began to understand and adjust as well. although my dad-in-law felt disappointed coz being a licensed nurse, she chose to become a full time mom living in egypt coz she's not allowed to work by her hubby. they have 2 kids right now and been married for the past 8 years.
1 person likes this
• China
22 Jan 10
Hi,chesaid,I think ur boyfriend is too over protective,maybe he is toooo afraid to lose u when u talk to other guys who don't have girlfriend.Many boys will jealous when their girlfriends talk to guys,here one thing I want to remind u, that is u have to watch out whether ur boy friend has violent trend or not.If yes,then there will be bad,u have to worry about ur safety.That's my opinion.Have a talk with him,and observe his reaction,don't put yourself in trouble.Good luck and take care.
1 person likes this
@vince06 (98)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
hi, che i have also a girlfriend and we're together for almost 5 yrs thats also our problem during our couple of yrs together coz i will get jealous when i saw her talk with somebody especially a boy and i know that its just her classmate or friend but i dont know why i feel like that and i thing im just insecure and immature but now i tend to change my attitude towards her because she might feel that im choking her where in fact we're just girlfriends and boyfriends not yet married.now, I feel jealous sometimes but not to the point that im overreacting like why i did before i just support her what she want and what she likes..i hope you and your boyfriend can talk with each other about that issue before its to late maybe you will get tired a feeling that he is choking you and you might lose your patience and it will end up into break up.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 10
OOOh! That's a problem. I guess you have to choose if you want to live your life boxed in with your boyfriend or not. It sounds like he'sa control freak. If you love him enough to go live in his sandbox alone, then go for it. It really sounds like he has some control issues though and those usually give way to abuse.
@DenverLC (1146)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
Your problem involves a conflict of personalities and outlook. Your boy friend is too selfish and unfriendly, but to take the brighter side, he is over protective. Why? well he loves you maybe and he don't want to lose you. If you really love him, then you can not afford to lose him too, just balance it. It is good to follow sometimes, for a lasting relationship. Love and trust don't usually go together always. We may love and trust our partners, but we can not always trust the people around us, even if they are our friends.
@chesaid (104)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
im not sure about what you said that love and trust don't usually come together. what i know is that when you love someone, it also counts that you trust them. yes maybe we cannot really trust other people but in a relationship, trust makes it stand.
@chesaid (104)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
that's what im thinking... i would say it is not really love if he can't trust me with my friends... but im also thinking about him. back in their place this is the way girls are. they don't have boys as their friends. and vise versa. i would say he's trying to understand that he's not the only man around me. maybe i'll give him more time to understand me more... i know he loves me and i love him too...
@andy77e (5161)
• United States
21 Jan 10
I have known several Egyptian guys. They are decent people really. However, they have very strong cultural values, that you might not be willing to deal with. I would suggest that this man will likely never accept that you have other male friends. He will want you to behave the way that is culturally accepted in Egypt. So likely you will have to either determine to act that way, and break off your friendships with other males, or you and him will have arguments and fights until you break apart. Honestly, I can't tell you what to do. It depends on you. Do you think this guy is worth it? Will you give in, and become what is acceptable to him, for the sake of the relationship? Or maybe you'll never be like the Egyptian women, and you shouldn't try. Find someone more understanding of your culture? I really don't have a good answer for that. Good luck either way.
@agv0419 (3027)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
I think maybe because of their culture that's why he behaving like that. They don't allow the women to talk to men. Cultural differences is the main reason and you should be patience on him. Egyptian is different to Pinoy that's why it is very hard to understand the attitudes of a foreigner.
@etioewe (143)
• Mexico
21 Jan 10
well as for me I think he is not married to you yet, so he should not say you should stop having friends even if you are married. but you too should at least limit the number of male friends you have and talk less to them in his presence becuase you know some jealous poeple can be very terrible about this. i would say if you care about your man so much try to do some things that will make him have full confident in you, but not just quitting all your friends becuase you want to please him. just try and let them know that you are with you boyfriend when they call and he is right there with you and tell the mto call back later to give him some little respect. well thats little of my opinion, i also once had a very jealous girlfriend who was always angry when I recieve calls in her presence up to the extent that i got tired of the whole thing becuase even when a guy calls she get jealous. please just try and make you man understand who those friends her to you and also give him the respect of talking to them less when he is with you. just to avoid much fight. thanks
@chesaid (104)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
ei thanks for your opinion.. yes, respect is what must i do... breaking up is not really that easy and especially if the reason is just about jealousy.
@reckon21 (3484)
• Philippines
23 Jun 10
Your boyfriend is not comfortable when he thinks you were around with your friends. I can see clearly that he doesn't really trust you that much because he is always afraid that you will find somebody else. You can be devoted to him but if he can't trust you everything just don't work out in a positive way. Maybe you still have to gained his trust more. You don't have to lost your friends because they are also important to you. But when the time come that you got to choose between the two which will you going to prefer...your boyfriend or your friends. You are the only one who can choose.
@cream97 (29164)
• United States
23 Jun 10
Hi, chesaid. Your boyfriend is very jealous of you. He does not want you to get involved with other men. He wants you all to himself. He has to respect you. If he trusts you, then he would not feel so jealous of your relationship with your male friends. Is your boyfriend from Egypt?
• United States
22 Jun 10
It sounds to me like he is jealous because you have friends on both sides of the sectrum. also it may be because he wants to control you adn that you should be careful
@goldeneagle (6774)
• United States
27 Jan 10
I have been in this situation before with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I had several female friends before I met her, and she expected me to stop talking to them once she and I started dating. It cause a problem for a long time, and I think it is one of the reasons that things didn't work out between us. My advice to you is NOT to give up your friends just to please your boyfriend. He is wrong for expecting you to do this, and you should tell him so. You shouldn't have to give up talking to your friends because of his insecurities.
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
25 Jan 10
Their are people who believe a man and women can not just be friends, and that it will lead to other things. I think it is just a lack of trust. Many people have trust problems. I know I do. This could be his problem. Have a good day.
@aerous (13461)
• Philippines
25 Jan 10
Your boyfriend is not a reasonable man but a narrow minded person (pardon me to say that, my friend) But this is really the case. What is reason behind for not allowing you to talk to someone that is your friend or any other man that have no connection with you? I don't know if the words I used here is right but your boyfriend is very suspicious person that must not be real in dealing a relationship like that... How can you be happy if your boyfriend acting like that?
@MsTickle (25051)
• Australia
24 Jan 10
You need to be very careful. A jealous person is very difficult to deal with. It might be your friends now, later maybe your work mates or even your family. A jealous person rarely changes.. A jealous person is a controlling person.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
23 Jan 10
I do not know if you have tried this or not but if your boy friends have significant others try going out on a double date so that your boyfriend gets to know them little better. I think that is the main problem He trust you but he may not trust their intentions and if he sees there is no harm I think he will feel better about the situation.
@Agoenxz (554)
• Indonesia
23 Jan 10
Maybe your boyfriend is jealously type of guy... orTheres must be some things wrong with your relationship... so that it may happen. i suggest you find out why?? the so oner is better! and i guess that he doenst really trust you eventhough he said he trust you...
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
I really believe you don't both trust each other... Ya, that's always right, it is the start of many couples fights. And the main reason is, you both don't understand each others culture. It boils down to one big Question, How much you love each other... Here is one of the many things you can do, Don't stop explaining your side, your environment which you grow up with... And there's no harm in trying, believe what you believe, and just show consistency to the highest level. Be True to yourself. all relationships must have all the three God's gift included, Love, Hope, Faith, and these are three equally important gifts for everyone to develop in all relationships... May God Bless Us All, Always.....
• United States
22 Jan 10
IMO it sounds as if he is very insecure and demanding. I know from personal experience that a little jealousy seems flattering at first but excessive jealousy can not only destroy any relationship but can be very dangerous.
@jdyrj777 (6543)
• United States
22 Jan 10
Maybe hes thinking what he would do if he had friends that are girls. He is thinking you would do the same as him. If you remain with this guy he will always be like that. I used to have a guy friend that was like that. There is no way he trust you. What is scarry, makes me worry about you is that you said he was jealous about you talking to guy friends even before you were with him. Or is that not what you said?