Have you ever lied to you partner about how many people you've slept with before

@chubit (122)
January 22, 2010 4:46pm CST
Its an age old problem, how much do you want to disclose to your partner about previous people you've been with? Do you think its easier to be honest if you're a man or a women? If your partner were to say they'd been with more people than you, would you lie and increase the amount you really have? Or if they've been less, would you decrease? Did you save yourself instead for a partner? Has anyone in this positions ever been faced with someone who previously had been with people while you hadn't? Is this an area of relationships were you really have to be honest?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@cripfemme (7710)
• United States
24 Jan 10
No, I personally have never done it. As a health educator, I would not endorse people doing it. It's a really bad idea to start off a relationship on the basis of a lie. Even if you have been "loose" in your previous incarnations of self, lying about it is not going to help improve your behavior. What if you're still friends with one of your exes or several? Are you never going to let your current person meet them. People talk to each other. If you're actually considering doing this, I strongly advise you not to. Honesty is especially in matters of the heart is the best 99% of the time. I found that lying in these matters comes back to bite you in the behind.
@chubit (122)
25 Jan 10
I think that's a very good way to about starting a relationship, relationships are definately a matter of trust, and if you have to hide things about yourself to your partner, you'll always worry they won't want you for what you truly are! But unfortunately, sometimes applying this to real life doesn't work!
@Cutie18f (9560)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
It depends on the situation. If the truth will only lead to the severance of your present relationship, then it is better not to tell it. There had been cases of relationships that got marred by the truth. Sometimes there are things better left unsaid. It's not that you're lying, it's just that you want to move on, forget the past, and look at the future. It's no use harping about the past, counting the men in your life, etc. What is important is the present and how you are going to make the relationship work so you can have a future together and not just make another history with that person.
@chubit (122)
23 Jan 10
I think thats a very good mentality, bringing up past memories isn't going to be very encouraging for a present relationship, especially a new relationship! But curiosity overcomes most better ways of thinking, I don't think i could have slept with my partner for the first time if i didn't know how many people he'd previously been with. It comes down to trust really, and when you're starting something new with someone, there's not very much there!
@olisaur (1931)
• United States
22 Jan 10
Here's what I think: Why does your partner need to know? Wouldn't it just be too distracting no matter what the number is? I think its best to keep it a big unknown.
@chubit (122)
23 Jan 10
understandable, but how do you answer the question when someone asks? Would you just shrug out of it? I'd be worried that it would make you sound very suspicious!
• India
25 Jan 10
its really not possible for any body to tell the tough if he/she deceive the other partner. Every one use to hide his past and want to live in present to avoid such situation.
@aurerm (371)
• Switzerland
24 Jan 10
I was honest yes. This was the past then so I didn't mind.
@sofear (42)
23 Jan 10
I simply just say that his question is irrelevant and that what matters is who am with at the moment i.e.him.I don't think it is important to know the number because what you don't know won't hurt you.
@karma118 (294)
• United States
22 Jan 10
Well, in my case, I was honest with my partner about the amount of people I've slept with. He on the other hand, was not. I told him my actual number and he told me 5..., FIVE!!! I was like, oh... he is 28... I later discovered I was only the second girl he had slept with!! I was so shocked!!! it's a good thing though, I'm proud I am only the second girl. ;)
• United States
22 Jan 10
I am guilty of this because I have lied in my past to my significant other about how many i've slept with before. only because it's better especially if the you have a good personality or "innocent" demeanor and them it's better to think and believe that it's only been 2 or 3 rather than say yeah i've slept with 10 people because you just don't feel right saying the truth because you don't want to feel like a passed around person. or you don't want them to feel like they are just a number