what to do??

@grace24 (1050)
Philippines
January 23, 2010 4:37am CST
id like to hear some good advices from you guys, please help me...i dont know what to do with my life. I dont know that i will encounter so many problems in my life. Before my life seems so happy,i am not having so many problems but now i dont know. Its started when i become a college student, I discovered that my father working in other country is having an affair with another women, and now we are having a financial problem. My mother got sick and depressed. my 2 sisters dont know what is happening, they dont know that my father has another woman. What advice could you give me?im really depressed.....:(
11 responses
@sushie93 (1359)
• France
23 Jan 10
Urgh, it's really difficult what happens to you. But i'm sure your problems will be solve in the future. First, it's hard to know that your father has another woman but you must accept that, let him do what he wants in his life, it's his life. Now, your mother, i learn that sickness proven from psychologic/material problems, i don't say your mother is crazy, no, no, but for example, stomach problems could proven from material (money) problems, ect... Brief, i think you could try to make your mother more "happy" by doing thing she liked? Depression is a big problem which could last for many years if she doesn't solve the problem quickly. Maybe she could see a psychologue to tell her confidences, ect...? Don't say anything to your sisters. Financial problem: ouch, most of people today have this problem, it's really, except find a job, i don't know how to solve it... Courage!!
1 person likes this
@levis143 (70)
• Philippines
23 Jan 10
Problems are part of life here. These can make or break you, depending on how strong or weak you are. My advice is you must be strong, face the problem head on, be courageous, and think more of solutions rather than dwell on the problem. You may be young in age, but you can rise up to the depressing situation. Your mind must be strong and never permit you emotions or negative feelings pull you down. First of all, you can do nothing about your father's unfaithfulness or infidelity. It is beyond your control. Don't permit that incident pull you down. If the result of such misdeed of your father is financial problems and emotional distress on you and your family's part, then it would be best for you to seek a part-time job so you can at least support your needs while continuing your studies. The point is you must fight, be a fighter and face hardships and difficulties head on, never permit emotions rule your life. One thing more, find some matured person, most especially a Christian whom you can ask for proper guidance and who can pray for you, for always God's provision and wisdom is what we really need most when times get tough and hard.
1 person likes this
@gunagohan (3415)
• India
23 Jan 10
This happens often, as being a college student.. Well, everybody would tell you to do part time jobs and enroll your sisters in jobs and to take care of your mother, but i have a different answer for this problem, First of all go and ask your father the complete money for running his family(your family ).. If he is giving enough money for ur studies and other family process , just accept it..Don't get into any trouble, u can finish ur college then u ll fetch a job, just 3-4 years.. If your father is not giving or sending u the money, then u have to go to the senior cops of the state, just get an appointment with the senior cop and tell him about your condition and ask him to help you with the matter.. If not go to human rights association and ask them to provide a solution. They will fetch u enough money from ur father.. First ask ur father the money, if he is giving then no problem, if not do the above as i said, because u need money to run the family..Money is needed in first.. Take care
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Jan 10
Life has its ups and downs. You cannot be permanently happy and sad. There should be a combination of these two in order to obtain a good life. Problems we encounter in life are very normal for they are challenges we need to surpass to become stronger and happier. I understand how you feel towards the problem you have with your family and I know it does hurt you a lot. But just always remember that there are still other people who suffer more than you do. Just stay strong and fight for as long as you can. If you will just let your down feelings let you down, then everything will end up to nothing. Stay happy in any possible ways you know. Keep yourself busy and move on with your life. Help your mother cope up with depression and stay with her most of the time for she needs you more than you know. Learn to forgive your father and try to talk to him in a nice way to stop what he is doing wrong.
@artistry (4153)
• United States
23 Jan 10
..Hi there grace24, The family is a unit and when something goes wrong with the head of the family, your parents, the entire unit is effected. As has happened here. But you must try to understand that there is not much you can do to effect the outcome of this situation with your father. It is all up to him and your mother, they have to find a way to deal with the situation, either your dad leaves the other woman, or your mom accepts it, if she wants to try to keep the family together, of your mom decides to leave your dad. But none of this is under your control, they have to make the decision about their marriage. You have to understand this, and then find something which will mske you gappy outside of this turmoil and get yourself involved, to the point that you feel better about your life. You have a life as well, this naturally makes you feel bad, but you could be dating, doing things with others, having a hobby or just doing well in school, things which improve your attitude about life in general. This is important to you as an individual. You have to fught the depression. See if you can find a book on meditation, read it, and practice it. It will help your mental state and calm you down. The financial situation, I can only tell you that if you can find a part time job and help your mom out with the bills that would be good. But try to improve your attitude, things change, pray and hope for the best with your parents, but this is their problem, which they have to work through. Take it off of your shoulders. Fight for your right to be happy, in spite of what is going on. Also find a good friend, someone you trust and talk to them about your situation, or a minister at your church. This might help you as well. Good luck to you. Take care.
@artistry (4153)
• United States
2 Mar 10
...Hi again grace24, I wanted to thank you for your best response consideration. I appreciate it very much. It has been a little while since we wrote to you. I am hopeful that your situation has improved in some way. It takes time for things to change, but if you try to keep a positive attitude you will find yourself in a better place. Be sure to talk over your problems, as we suggested before, with someone you trust, it helps a lot. See if you can find some Chamomile tea, at the Supermarket, it relaxes you and helps you to sleep better. Take care.
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
That is really hard situation.. First never tell your sisters about your dad.. 2nd talk to your father when he got home.. don't be angry with him ask him anything you wanted to know.. 3rd help your mother from financial needs and recover for what was happened. Make her happy.
• Kenya
24 Jan 10
Healing of any wound in life is slightly difficult. But it is possible. Hope and courage is the only to two things direct your or anybody's life. Starting searching answer's for life problems. Don't be question yourselves. Because all life problems can be sorted out dwelling our mind for answers. No any problems in the world without answer. May be the duration varies. But the trying to get answer to continue. Sit alone in a calm environment and start searching answers for your life's facing questions. Think like a third person giving advice to you. You will start getting answer.
• India
24 Jan 10
Hey buddy, first of all dont think there are any problems with you, just give yourself some time and think one problem at a time. first of all look after ur mother untill she is fine. then sit with ur two sis and talk to them. tell them everything u know. talk to them and tel them that u all need to settle down things now like mature kids.(if they are small er than you)If possible talk to ur father also to know exactly whats goin on. do not get angry or depressed at any given point of time. that worsen the situation. keep ur calm and find out solutions instead of complaining or getting depressed. this usually works out with me when i find myself in similar problems. cheer up
@syedayub (252)
• India
24 Jan 10
Well, I really don't know, what advice i should give to you. you said that your father having affair with other women, you know it but your sisters does'nt. At this suituation, consider your both sisters age, if they are minnor, don't reveal your fathers affair to them, If you think they are major, and they can digest it, then reveal the truth. Coming to financial problem, do some job that can genarate regular income for your family, this keep you balance your life. have a nice day.
• China
24 Jan 10
Dear Grace, a coin has two sides. If you view this tradegy from the other side, your will have more courage to face it. You can be grateful for this challenge in your life, because it give you a chance to be stronger. Your father is not loyal to your mother and the family, but you still have a good mother and two sisters. Just remember, your world will not be destroyed if you don't give up. You should support your mother and two sisters and you will also be supported by them. Find a part-time job to overcome the financial problem or apply for some helping funds. I wish you good luck and never give up!
@clocks123 (1227)
• United States
24 Jan 10
i'm sorry about this situation with your family. i would find a job and try to help mom the best i could financially. Unfortunately, you can't do anything about your dad having the affair. i don't know what his intentions are concerning you and your family. you stated you are all depressed and rightly so. is there a counselor that you may all see concerning this problem? let us know how you are doing and i wish you and your family all the best.