how far do you let other people influence your decisions?
By hannanable78
@hannanable78 (437)
Philippines
January 23, 2010 6:58am CST
i have decided to stop schooling just for this semester because i feel like my life is turning into an auto-bot. it's a kind of decision that the culture of the my colleagues find untraditional, that they don't entirely approve of it.
to them it appears like i'm wasting my time, and what i don't understand is why they find 'being ahead of your time' a rebellious act?
would you take your chances and do untraditional things, despite what the people around you would think, or would you succumb to the safe side until that certain time when you're already permitted to pull out your stunts?
3 people like this
13 responses
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
24 Jan 10
I guess it would depend on what kind of decision it is and who is envolved in it.
For example, I wanted to switch jobs because I am still a part-time college student but also work in child day care. I have been working in child day care and, like you said, felt like my life was turning into an auto-bot. I was losing my challenge and wanted to do something that would gain experience for my future work with disabled children. Trying to switch jobs can envolve temporarily not having as much money and such, and because I live together with my boyfriend I can't take that decision entirely on my own. His opinion does matter in this case as it might envolve him having to work more for some time.
If people love you and know your motivation they most of the time support you, unless they see a dark side of your decision that overshadows their love and support. Good luck!
@hannanable78 (437)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
yeah, i agree with you on that. on those kinds of circumstances when other people are likely to be affected, are the circumstances when we should be cautious of our decisions. brilliant, what a responsible woman you are. ;)
1 person likes this
@chenxiaoyue_713 (2165)
• China
24 Jan 10
It's natural that people disagree on somethings as each of us may have our own views and understandings. But in terms of making decisions, I don't think it wise for a person to be always independent. Take a company for example, the head is the chief decision maker, but he can't be the only decision maker. There must be times when his ideas are not the best. There might be others whose ideas are better than his, and there may be perhaps some people who are more intelligent than he. So he has to listen to others' opinions at times. It's the same case with others. We should learn to listen to others and respect their opinions, especially when we disagree.
@hannanable78 (437)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
that's true really. i believe that decisions that involves a lot of people should be reasonably weighed, especially when it's going to affect those people greatly. but in terms of living your own life, i have a firmer stand on the belief that we should listen to our own heart before anybody else.
@elainebautista (86)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
I can easily be swayed by the urging of others. People know me to easily succumb to peer pressure. However, I am working on what I really feel and fighting for my stand regardless of what others would like to think. I'm a work in progess and it helps to start with little things like where to eat and what to watch.
@hannanable78 (437)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
well it's a good start, and it's really good to know! thanks for sharing!;)
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
i seldom ask for help or advice and i don't waste my time asking just about anybody because i'm easily swayed. that is why only those people who had not only achieved something in life but are also currently respected and even successful are the ones i ask help for. no problem is complicated. it just becomes so when you ask people with many complications 
.
.@hannanable78 (437)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
yeah i will have to agree on that one too! LOL. Thanks! ;)
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
It is sometimes difficult to make a decision especially when we are still young and not equipped in life yet. However, there are certain facts of life that we are the only one who can tell if it is the right choice for us or not.
No matter what we do, we are certainly the one to decide which way to go. Your decision might contradicts that of your culture but if you believe that for the present time it is the right thing to do then, you should do what you have to do.
Just make sure that whatever decision you make, always be ready to face the consequence(s) of it. Everything has a price to pay, though.:-)
Goodluck.:-)
@zenobirani (32)
• India
24 Jan 10
if you go with peoples talk you will be living life on their terms and not yours...i think we have got one life to do what we want and what we feel right...
i just a means of people to talk ,gossip and give lectures to others........we should do what we feel and bring cheers to life.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
24 Jan 10
i think if this is something you need to do for you, then you should do it. who cares what others think or say about what is best for you. i don't allow other people to influence decisions that i need to make that are important to me and my future.
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
23 Jan 10
Hello hannanable78!
I am always my own person. I don't let other people influence the way I act or the way I should act. They either love me or hate me. That's it. I would rather do my own stuff and be happy than stay on the safe side and always sorry of myself. I hope that you would go back to school soon...
@hannanable78 (437)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
i will, i will. in a matter of five months. ;) i just swore to myself to find a somewhat stable part-time job that i can earn from even when i'm in school. ;)
that's what i've been telling them. maybe because they're younger than me and they are yet to grow a backbone to support their own decisions, but i told them that sticking on the safe side and setting their happiness aside to pave way for tradition would deprive them the wonderful experience of exploring and venturing life, right?
thanks! :D
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
6 Mar 10
there are people worth listening to and worth obeying and as long as the person to whom one based one's decision from is happy and is not pitiful of himself or in others' eyes then i'd say follow your heart in obeying, imitating or emulating that person. sad thing is sometimes there is no one that can serve as a good example of how one would become should they decide to do something and that in itself is and should be a sign that none would come out of it.
@MimiRemo (418)
• Philippines
23 Jan 10
I am up for untraditional and unconventional things when it's really necessary and I make sure that I know my limitations. I pay some attention to what others have to say, be it encouraging or disapproving, but in the end, it's still my decision to make. It's me who has to weigh the benefits and disadvantages, and it's my own judgment that I have to trust.
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
Hi Hannanable!
It's okay to listen to other people's advice and opinion. However, in the end it is still you who should decide for your self especailly if it invloves your future and your life. You cannot let other people decide for yourself especially if you are already an adult. It's okay for other people to give you suggestions. It is normal especially if they care for you so much and they just want the best for you. However, you have to let them know that it is your life so it's up to you whether what you want to do or want to be. I listen to the people around me and sometimes I even seek and advice from them (family and close friends). However, in the end after I weighed everything it is still me who makes the decision for my self. There are some fctors though that culd affect my decision. Sometimes there are things that you have to take into consideration. Sometimes it involves the feelings of the people we love and also their well- being. That is the reason whenever we make decisions we have to make sure that we are prepared to face its consequences.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
23 Jan 10
Some things work for certain people. Schooling may not fit some people but it doesn't necessarily mean that it is also not for you. I suggest that you find some time out to be able to discern really what you want to do with your life. Think about the future and consider "what if's". Try to think of options that you will not regret later. Remember, one wrong decision could lead to a future of uncertainty. I think you are at this stage of life when one has a lot of questions and uncertainties. Always have the future in mind in all your decisions.
@hannanable78 (437)
• Philippines
24 Jan 10
future seems like the only thing i have in mind in all my decisions to the extent of paranoia, trust me. i even have to bend myself backwards to to get myself to live on the present and appreciate life as it is now, because i believe that's what should matter. that we're alive now, and that we do our best to be happy while we're here on earth.
and no not really, i'm not that indecisive, doubtful maybe but a little uncertainty is good for everyone. if everything is certain, what fun would there be in life, right?
i already know what i want to do with my life. i have set a plan good for ten years and it's expandable. i've planned it in details but i follow them randomly, so as to keep myself from pressuring and/or frustrating myself with my own plan.
which is exactly the point. i already want to know what i want, and i believe i am responsible enough to stand by however the outcome turns out, what i find so annoying is the idea that other people are just too keen on being traditional and forever complain about how their life is turning out just because they're too scared to go beyond their limitations. x_x
thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)
@sushie93 (1355)
• France
23 Jan 10
Hello,
My situation is a little similar as you:
In 2008, I missed my degree and i decided to stop high school and try to work at home and pass my degree without going to school.
ALL members of my family was not agree with me, they start to say that i will miss my degree one more time again, when we see each others, they always ask me "Why don't you go to school?", they always "agress" me with school, they forced me to go to school, ect.
But whatever the numbers of time they say "Go to school!", i didn't listen to them and stay working my lessons at home with internet and books.
Finally, i didn't go to school but i got my degree just by learning at home!
So if you want to stop schooling, did it and don't be influencing by others. ^^
@hannanable78 (437)
• Philippines
23 Jan 10
well it's not that i want to stop schooling. i like school, i love learning new things from great people, and meeting a lot of responsible and sensible people too. it's just that i wanted to be ahead of my time, and do things the untraditional way because that's the very least of freedom that i could achieve in a very demanding school. so there. thanks for sharing your thought! :)
