Do you trust your instincts when it comes to people?

@kquiming (2998)
Philippines
January 25, 2010 10:49pm CST
I don't know if I'm just being mean or skeptical or cynnical or whatever, but sometimes I get this feeling that, even if a person appears to be good and harmless, something inside tells me that this person should be avoided and is causing me to feel annoyed and irritated without a valid reason and no explanation why. The thing is, sometimes I just don't feel like being friendly with certain people at all and I cannot find out what exactly is the cause. So do you think I should just go on hating people that I don't feel like liking? Or should I try to be nice to them as much as I can, especially because God tells us so?
3 people like this
24 responses
@ANIME123 (2472)
• United States
26 Jan 10
Yes I usually do trust my instincts because I always seem to get it right. Well sometimes I am wrong,I'm not saying that I'm not. For me I try to be nice to people because that's how I would like to be treated. Usually the way you treat people is the way that people are going to treat you. God would not like it very much if we were mean to people just for no reason. Remember never judge a book by it's cover, that's what I think. I talk to many people and am now starting to find out that my instincts are wrong at times.
2 people like this
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
if what you're saying, kquiming, is that looks are deceiving, it is only proper to be discerning in whom you give trust. first-time acquiantances should always undergo your personal parameters for giving trust. no matter how lovely or handsome they may be, that's no guarantee that what's inside their minds is similarly beautiful and good. but there is also what they call good vibes when you meet a person. sometimes, this is true, but at other times it also fails. the rule: be careful and discerning.
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
very well said. thanks for the advice.
1 person likes this
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
the pleasure is mine, message me anytime. will ya?
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
sure, i just added u as one of my friends. see?
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Jan 10
hi kquiming I think what you are talking about is what I call your gut feeling, and I always listen to it. If I meet someone and that inside feeling tells me avoid this person,he' is hiding something I will listen to it. You dont need to hate people as that is not Godly but listen to your inner voice. that prickly feeling in your gut might just save you one day. yes you should try to be nice to everyone as God directed us to, but still do trust your gut feeling. In women we call it women's instinct and it seldom steers us wrong.
1 person likes this
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
yeah, and i am a woman so i guess i'm more likely to be right than wrong. =D
• United States
26 Jan 10
Well what you are asking seems to be a purposefully loaded question. I am firmly believe that you should follow and trust your gut feelings, even when they are wrong it probably is still in your best interests to do so. Side note: If you HATE someone as you say, why would you let/have them around you anyway. It actually is more detremental to your sanity to deal with people that you feel that way. And God or whoever may say turn the other cheek etc. But falsifying being nice or any other emotional appearances, is just a sleezy way to deal with people. Even the people you hate deserve better than that kinda crap. God does not expect you to be nice to anyone as muchas you can. Cause that would be breaking the commandment, Thou Shall not Lie.
1 person likes this
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
i usually keep quiet and stay away, i don't treat them rudely but you know, i don't act in a sweet way at them. some people are just always around you like in the work place or at home, so not really possible to be 100% free of them but yeah, staying inside another room really helps.
@barnkinney (1343)
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
hi! i do have the same feelings towards others sometimes. but i guess, you just have to give them the chance. what i do is i don't make the first move if i don't like the person. but if this person comes to me and asks for my help i see what i can do and if i can, even if i don't like the person, i help or assist him/her. you never really know a person just based on the first impression. but you are not really required to be very friendly if you don't want to. just be fair and treat them the way you want to be treated.
1 person likes this
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
very well said, yes it would be only fair to treat them right. but you know, i really wouldn't be so warm towards them if something in my gut holds me back.
@Theresaaiza (10539)
• Australia
28 Jan 10
In times like these, it's really hard to trust anyone that much. I mean everyone has a dark side, and everyone has the capacity to betray you in the end. Even you yourself might end up betraying someone. The thing is, we could treat someone nicely but we always must be guarded. We must have reservations.
1 person likes this
@faimei (128)
• Philippines
27 Jan 10
Hello there, sometimes I do have that kind of feeling. And I really avoid them but in circumstances that we need to interact then I will give that sign as an opportunity to better know the person. And also confirm if my instincts is true or not. In some instances also, I have proven that my instincts is right. It is not wrong to follow it and be cautious but we also need to give the chance to others.
1 person likes this
@airasheila (5456)
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
Hi there. Same like you, I sometimes feel an instinct towards others. Before I was so very sensitive on it and that I always listen to what I have feel. As time goes by, I try to ignore it because, I find myself unfriendly. However, there is one situation that push me again to listen to my instinct. And due to this situation, I again revived to listen to my instinct.
• Sri Lanka
26 Jan 10
hey well let me start by saying i'm another person who keeps hating people because of some sort of an instinct i feel inside on people. that doesn't happen on like jealousy or something it's mostly based on examining peoples behavior & how they treat pother people. hmmm well saying that now i think i cannot call it "an INSTINCT " anymore huh :) some people behave really annoying or treat people in ways we personally don't like so we tend to label them as "members of our haters group" but i think its fair because then they will know that what they think "cool" in their behavior is actually ISN'T . well now let me tell you that coming to judgments by judging people on what mentioned above has worked very well with me(they will know their limits with interacting with me when its needed. :) ) so i get to maintain my personality in a higher level. but there are times where my judgment has gone wrong. people who i think are deserved to be hated by me are sometimes really good at lending there help when i'm in need of help.they even stand for me when my friends are backing down. so i thought of not being too rude/sarcastic to people who i start to hate & give them a little time (while taking my time on examining them) to see what they really are and how close or far i am in taking a wrong/right judgment on people.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 10
I get this feeling with certain people and usually I may be right. I can sense when someone has a hidden agenda (which is quite possibly in my opinion the worst thing I can find in a new person) and if they'll go to their friends and talk behind my back. Its my pet peeve when it comes to people, it puts me off from giving them my trust, so there is always a tension between me and this person. Of course I won't try to cause and problems, since I'm always cordial even to the people that I really do not like. I think until someone proves to you that they aren't what they appear to be you should keep up a wall to a certain degree. Don't completely shut yourself off from meeting and talking to people (not saying that you do that, just saying in general) and keep a healthy environment going. You haven't thought that the other people might be thinking the same thing about you, in some cases the roles are reversed and you might be to them the same as they are to you. Its all in human nature and I think the only way to get past it is either through the harsh honest truth or time to let it settle. Either way people usually cannot be trusted too much.
1 person likes this
@squaretile (3833)
• Singapore
26 Jan 10
Yes I believe that God gives us instincts for a reason, and for women especially, there is great intuition. So if you get a strong vibe that someone is not to be trusted, then listen to your instincts.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (38989)
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
hello kquiming, I know what you feel,i also felt the same with new acquaintances. Even if,it's the only first time i saw that person...i had this feeling of uneasiness or...something bothers me and dictates me to be careful. Well,don't hate the person...just avoid if necessary or...don't make him/her feel that you are comfortable with their company. Just treat them well,or show them goodness(they are not harming you anyway...)sometimes,our instinct were wrong,or,sometimes,we just feel being paranoid listening to out instinct. Generally,i trust my instinct...8 of 10 people that,i felt uneasy are not trusthworthy(my friends found out later)and,most of my friends trust my instinct too. Have a good day always
1 person likes this
@Fireheart (683)
• India
26 Jan 10
As you say we all have a safety device in our human body which tries avoiding dainger which we call as instinct and this can even come handy at tight situation or the danger atmosphere, i must say we should really follow the idea and that we must accept what our instinct tell you, our body has the ability to decide on our own without having it confirmed in our brain that is quick decision when its time we need the urgency and that we can also predict the way the things will go if we really try on it.i must say i trust my guts and my instinct alway and there is nothing above it.
1 person likes this
@minx267 (14943)
• Hartford, Connecticut
26 Jan 10
I usually go with my GUT INSTINCT.. you need to trust yourself.. There are many people who on the surface appear nice and are not. I have had this feeling myself and I always follow my gut instinct.
1 person likes this
@xenafan (12)
• United States
26 Jan 10
I kind of think of this with romantic relationships. You want to have "chemistry", "sparks fly" whatever right? Is that so different in finding a true friend? I guess some people have friendships out of convenience or situational friends, but that's different if you're considering whether a person will be a real friend or not. I say trust your instincts. Numerous times I've had people who were "enemies" become friends (that I really did think were close) and then turn around to be adverse to me again. I don't think you should "hate" anyone, without a reason, no more than you should "love" anyone without reason-its just a general predisposition to some and not others. I also don't think you can love if you can't hate. This reminds me of that saying, "You can't please everyone."
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
now that's a different answer there... here's the best response award for you. i'll take what you said into heart. thanks for the wonderful response
• United States
26 Jan 10
I know exactly what you mean. I have always seemed to have had this lovely gift of knowing what people are like by first impressions. They can be the most polite good looking pleasant funny etc... person in the world. I see many for something else what they really are. I have learned to stick with my first instincts they have never been wrong. I don't go around hating people because I don't agree with their ways. Besides hate is such a strong feeling rather save it for someone who has hurt me or my loved ones. I remain social whether its because of work or family members. I just don't give them the opportunity to use me or get me caught up into their little vortexes of drama. I don't go out with them hang out and such it's hello how are you ..... conversations last 5 minutes if that and I'm on my way. Be nice and social but when you get those feelings just keep your guard up. In time you will see what it is that made you uncomfortable and you will start to recognize it in others that annoy you. (Dislike isnt a reason to be rude)
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
I agree with you. as much as i can i stay away from those people to avoid hurting them (because i'm afraid i might suddenly "explode" without control) .if there's a book on "how to read people's real thoughts" i'd get it for myself.
@syankee525 (6293)
• United States
26 Jan 10
yes most of the time i do, growing up the way i did being around bad people and some good people i had to learn to read people. i would say 99 percent of the time i am right about people.
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
how i wish i could read people accurately. at least 99% of the time if not a hundred.
@illfavors (592)
• United States
26 Jan 10
I have a good intuition when it comes to people. I can usually sense if people are good or bad. I still give them the benefit of the doubt because sometimes our first impressions can be wrong as well as out instincts.
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
that's exactly where i'm coming from. it's just that sometimes it's hard to strip off the tantrums that goes with it.
• Philippines
26 Jan 10
My instinct never tell me that people are bad but my instinct does tell me that people do not want to be bothered. To put it together, people are good, they just do not want any quarrel with others. So if my instinct tells me to hate people it is because those people needs to be ignored of their business and if I agree to this feeling that I should not be near them, it satisfies their and my wish of having no arguments and such.
@kquiming (2998)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
yeah, that could be the case sometimes. nice one.
@magrylouyu (1629)
• United States
30 Jan 10
I fully believe by the saying 'trust your instints". I always get bad vibes by certian people. So, now when I get those bad vibes from people I just avoid them. I have learned the hard way plenty of times. Everytime I get a bad vibe about somebody and still go on to meeting them and being friends with them I get stabbed in the back amoung other things. I would have to say I would just avoid them at all costs.