Marriage vs Love

@cloud31 (5810)
January 26, 2010 10:32am CST
Bow of marriage, why some marriage don't last? DO you guys agree that marriage usually ends goodbye when a third party involved? If you will be in that situation which one you treasure most your marriage which you felt out of love? or to someone now you felt inlove with?
7 responses
• United States
26 Jan 10
I was with a man for 6 years before we got married. I don't know what happened when we got married but it only lasted 6 months before we were filing for divorce. He wanted to cheat on me and started drinking and staying out late at night. I am in love with another man right now, best decision of my life I might add, but am very scared to get married because of everything I have been through in the past. How can I get over this fear?!
@cloud31 (5810)
26 Jan 10
Hello Skittlez,im so sorry about your marriage turn into,well i might say sometimes we cannot prevent the situation, in your case try not to be scared of marrying again not all matters or situation have the same outcome,there is a saying that once you fall inlove be prepared to face the consequences either good or bad, hope for something different this time and I wish you happiness to your new loveone!
• United States
26 Jan 10
Hey Skittlez! That guy who you were married to first was a jerk. Some guys are like that. Don't look at it like "when we got married he . .." he was always that person. It was just that when you were married you started to notice it. It happens. No reason to dwell on it. As for the new guy, just remember he is not that guy that hurt you before. You have to look at him with fresh eyes. If you haven't already then you should talk with him about some of your fears so that there can be lots of open communctioin between you two and also so that he can do his part to help assure you of his fideltity to you. Good luck!
@cloud31 (5810)
26 Jan 10
Right Skittlez, Amigone is right we have to start every time we fall and at the end you will learn something you can apply for the next step you will get into..I wish you all the best and may you will have all the courage to face your new life with someone you love..
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
26 Jan 10
Marriages end up in divorce for a large variety of reasons...not always because there is a 3 person in the picture...In fact in some marriages, more than just two is fine and actually can work out quite well. I am happily married and had a bf as well (yes they both knew about each other)...
@cloud31 (5810)
26 Jan 10
hello Raven, well you may have this opinion as other doesn't each individual have different views about this,some works well with what your opinion is.Thanks for your comments.
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
26 Jan 10
Of course everyone has different views and for that matter I would NEVER recommend to another couple that they do things the way I do..just like nobody should think that their way would work for me and mine ya know....Regardless though, a third person ISNT always the reason for a marriage falling apart..there are TONS of reasons marriages end.
• United States
28 Jan 10
In my opinion when someone falls out of love, it is better to go separate ways, because then both parts end up hurting each other.
@cloud31 (5810)
28 Jan 10
We have the same opinion, i always thought that way,tnx laura have a nice day!
27 Jan 10
i don't think the 3rd party is the reason. Everyone should know to self control. Why you choose the 3rd,beauty ? wisdom? rich ? never enough,you will always find the better one. what you would then ? Turn to another 3rd? There is no 100% one man ,but 50% each of the couple...Pay more attention ,give more care,endure more, that is life
@cloud31 (5810)
27 Jan 10
Thanks for your comments nishikiki,,Have a nice day ..
@jmsplp (26)
• Philippines
27 Jan 10
Not all the time the cause of broken marriage is third party. there are tohter reasons like they don't meet both ends; everybody wants to be the BOSS; no concern for each other; maybe lack opf financial support. When two people are still boyfriends and girlfriends, the love is very strong and after marriage this love seems to go down. this is where they can tell the difference when married and unmarried. So, the Third PArty is not always the main cuase. Married life is really very different when both were still lovers.
@cloud31 (5810)
27 Jan 10
hello jmsplp, you have your point on this, right! not all broken marriage causes by third party, couples sometimes need a space and unfortunately they might realized in someway their marriage was not up of their expectation and at the process of time they fall out of love due to their dis similarity and uncommon in many ways.Thanks for your comment.
@etioewe (143)
• Mexico
26 Jan 10
well this is a dificult issue to discuss about, the truth is some times the third party can be of help, in meaning of some poeple give advice to the man to keep a home, well but i know you are right about the third party checking the home. but not to worry i think prayer lreally changes thing and helps.
@cloud31 (5810)
27 Jan 10
Hello Etioewe, what if one of the other party fell out of love will you suggest to keep her/his marriage? in so many reason sometimes its unpredictable couples fall out of love after marriage has been materialize, somewhat no one would like that to happen but in the long run they will hurt each other if they choose to keep the marriage without love,responsibility maybe can help as you said the most powerful tools is prayer i agree on that,..thanks for your comments.
@Amigone (44)
• United States
26 Jan 10
Some people enjoy a poloyamorous lifestyle. Some people do not. A third (or more!) person behind anothers back is not what ends most marriages. It's lack of communcation and trust that does. It's not feeling secure with that other person, for whatever reasons, that drives people away.
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
26 Jan 10
It's lack of communcation and trust that does Yea i agree..especially with communication..In my relationships I dont like ANYTHING to be taboo ya know...if there is an issue - TALK TO ME! got something on your mind thats buggin you - TALK TO ME! and BE HONEST..thats another big one IMO lack of honesty...