When Are They Old Enough

@dorannmwin (36392)
United States
January 27, 2010 12:39pm CST
Now, I have not yet nor would I consider leaving any of my children at home alone at their ages. However, I was just curious as to what ages people think it is okay to leave their children at home alone so they can run to the store or run an errand? My personal thought is that it is at about 10 years old because that is the first time that I remember my parents leaving me at home so that they could run up the street to the grocery store. I think that is the age where a child is on the brink of maturity. Please share with me your thoughts on this. How old would your children have to be or how old were they when you allowed them to be at home alone.
4 people like this
18 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Hi Doranmwin, I was about 9 or 10 when my parents would leave me home for a short while. I did fine. I was babysitting at age 11. Now I believe there is some law that states when it is ok to leave your child alone. You might want to check on that to be sure but I almost think it is age 11. I had 4 kids and they were all so very different that I went by their personality and maturity rather than age when it came to giving them more responsibility and freedom. My oldest daughter was so mature that I think she would have been fine and capable at age 9. Another daughter I hated leaving her to her own at 16 more than when she was 10! I really think it depends on the kid but call the division of children and find out what the laws are in your area.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
29 Jan 10
If that's true then go with what you are comfortable with. To be honest at that age I think most kids would be just fine while mom runs to the store. My grandson is 10 and I would be perfectly comfortable leaving him while I ran to grab a coffee or something. I know that all he'd do is either watch tv or play on my computer. He is a good kid and very responsible. If something were to happen though, I'd be in trouble because of that law which I disagree with. All kids are different and most parents would not leave a kid that was not perfectly capable of being left alone.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
As far as I and my friends know, there are no laws that exist in our area for the age that you can leave your children at home alone. In fact, I also know that some of Kathryn's classmates are already latchkey children (they are in first grade). That said, I still think that she is far too young to be left at home alone.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
29 Jan 10
I believe that there are some laws that are quite ridiculous, but then I guess there is a reason that they were created. Just because my daughter is mature doesn't mean that all children are mature. We have a little boy down the street with us that when he is 20 years old I don't know that I would trust him to be in a house by himself.
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
28 Jan 10
10 is very very young in my case, my parents never left me alone till i completed 17 years...They will take me with them where ever they go.. They have the fear, that i might get into any trouble if i'm home alone and they never allow me to talk to stranger when i'm alone.. i started staying alone in my home when i was 20(im currently 20). When they have some engagements or marriage functions, my mother would go for the marriage function and my father will be staying with me or my father would go and my mother would stay with me.. They are always concerned with my safety... They started leaving me alone just before a few months, they thought i'm old enough to live in home for 1 day or 1 night..
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
29 Jan 10
Parents are concerned at the safety of their children...My mother never allowed me to a cinema alone or with friends till i was 17...Eventually roaming out within a radius of cycling distance was allowed...But now i'm 20 and they bought me a bike and i'm free to roam out...
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
29 Jan 10
I agree that parents are concerned with the safety of their children, and it is very rightfully so. I allow my daughter to ride her bike on our street (which is a court and all of the neighbors watch out for the kids), but I won't let her cross any of the non-court streets around here without my being with her.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Wow, I couldn't imagine to have never been alone by the time that I was seventeen years old. I know that my mother left me at home with my siblings overnight when I was a junior in high school, so 17 years old and they were 15 and 11 years old at the time. When I was a sophomore in college, she worked overnight for a lady and would leave my brother and sister at home overnight while she worked, they were 17 and 13 at that time.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I believe it varies from child to child. Legally it varies from state to state. In Colorado there is no age so technically you can leave your child alone anytime. I think my daughter was about 10 the first time I left her alone and it was about twenty minutes. She never liked being alone so it happened very rarely. She is 15 now and hardly ever is home alone. I work from home so luckily it isnt an issue. I think you just have to feel out how mature they are and how prepared for emergencies. Now, my daughter will babysit but doesnt like to be alone.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
My daughter seems like she is quite the same as your daughter is, only many years younger. She wouldn't care to be watching over other children as long as she was not completely alone. However, she would not want to be left at our house without anyone here.
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
28 Jan 10
As I recall my Mom started leaving us Alone when my older siblings were about 12. But even before that we were allowed to walk/ride our bikes to school, and weren't required to come straight home. My advice is do whatever seems right in your heart.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
As of right now, my daughter is seven years old and she is allowed to walk herself home from the bus stop after school, but she has to come straight home and check in with me. She is also allowed to play with her friends as long as she keeps me updated as to where she is and whom she is playing with. I really feel like I am able to trust her.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
28 Jan 10
First and foremost it depends on their maturity. There are some kids that are 12 and 13 and still very inmature or still somewhat younger in their minds. I think for the most part though a mature 12 and 13 is good to keep home. I never had to really leave them alone because my sister lived above me so she was always around when they came home from school. However, I would have to stick to 12 -13 years old. Ten is still to young especially if alone without any sibilings.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
28 Jan 10
Oh I understand. My daughters had to always call me at work to let me know they got home. That is when I would tell them to have a snack and get homework done. A half hour or so depending on maturity of the kids should be ok. However, you should also look into the laws of the State you are living in. They may be different from other states. I just thought of that.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
29 Jan 10
As far as I know, there aren't any laws in our state about it, but when the time comes that I feel she is old enough, I will definitely be checking into that.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I wouldn't leave them alone for more than a few minutes at that age. I'm just trying to start thinking ahead for when the time does come that there could be a slight lapse in time between the children getting home and myself getting home (when I go back to work in a few years.)
1 person likes this
@deenaly (162)
• Malaysia
28 Jan 10
I am a single child. Both of my parents are working. I started to be left alone when I got to the age of 8. but then was in the 1990's. I guess right now the children are intelligent, but becoming less mature, so I would say around 10 years old.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I don't remember my parents leaving me at home alone when I was eight years old, but I do know that by the time I was ten years old I was able to be at home alone while my mother ran to the grocery store or other short errands.
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Hi Dorann Ten is the age I started leaving mine alone for short periods of time. As they did okay, I began to stretch the length of times. By the time each was 12, she was allowed to baby-sit. They have courses available to greatly help them learn the ins and outs of that. And even now, I am only a phone call away should my grown daughters need anything. Karen
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
That's basically the same way that it was for me as well. I was able to stay at home alone for short periods of time when I was ten years old, but I wasn't able to babysit other people's children until I was thirteen (it's some sort of an unwritten rule here). I never had any kind of a calamity happen either.
@bingchen (1119)
• China
28 Jan 10
it is noticed problem i think,although i have no children,but i find that children could not analyse what it is safe or not about something and easy do damaged thing.as for my private opinion,when the children would analyse what it is safe or not about something.they would be permited to stay at home alone.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
It is important for a child to know the difference between right and wrong and also between safe and dangerous before you could even consider leaving them at home without a responsible adult.
@Fulltank (2882)
• Philippines
27 Jan 10
My three kids (ages 10,8&7) can now be left at home at their own. Its because we have a friendly neighborhood. And most of the times each of us look for each others houses if someone is not at home or only the kids were left. My wife used to worry about it but lately she's been used to it.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I think that if I was to leave my children at home without myself or my husband even when they are seven and ten years old then I would still make sure that the neighbors would check in on them. It's important to have someone that is willing to do that for you.
@ShelleD (30)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I have 3 boys ages 10, 8 and 2. I have left my oldest in charge of the others for a few minutes while I ran a quick errand to the store (maybe 15 minutes). That being said, I have made sure to ask a family friend to keep an eye on them all the while I'm gone. Now I make sure that that 10 year old is capable of being in charge (ie: keeping the others from running out the door, playing with things they shouldn't etc) and he has done quite well that I don't feel as anxious as I used to. Now my 8 year old on the other hand, I probably wouldn't leave him alone at all if I could help it. I think that it is a matter of how mature the child is.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I too feel that maturity is a very important thing to keep in mind when you are leaving your children at home without you. My daughter is very mature for her age and that is the majority of the reason that I know that she will be okay once she gets to that age. However, if it was my son that I was thinking about, I think that he will have to be older.
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
i think you should not leave them alone . their are not in a legal age. they don't know how to manage their selves. you should take care of them. give their needs as a children . don't think them like a old man or woman , that can handle their selves.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I am far from being able to consider leaving Kathryn and Paul at home alone at this point in time. They are seven and three years old right now. However, the other night Kathryn was asked if she would babysit when she gets a few years older and that is the reason that I started thinking about this.
@asanlee (408)
• Indonesia
28 Jan 10
Hallo ...I also dont know when is the so called "right age" to leave children alone at home....for me , I never leave my children without any other adults around just like their auntie or uncles. Just say I have to go out and nobody at home,for this moment, I will bring them along with me, cause they still small...one 7years old n 3 years old. And maybe until they are around 11-12years old, I will just dare to leave them alone for a while....I think I will still worry about them.....And I believe by that time I will slowly teach them what should they do during emergency time...how to escape if there's danger...what shouldnt do to avoid...fire,etc...like these things.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
All of the things that you've mentioned that they should be aware of before they are able to be at home alone are very valid and important things for a child to know. I know that with my parents it was around ten years old because of our maturity levels, but I don't think that there should be an age set in concrete where it is safe to leave your children at home alone.
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
To be honest with you I'm not sure when. However, I believe 16 years old will be the best age to leave them alone at home. I have a 4 month old baby right now and he has a Nanny. At first I was hesitant to leave him alone with his full time Nanny. It took me almost two months to feel comfortable leaving him with his Nanny and that is because the Nanny has been with my husband's family for more than 20 years already. She was my husband's Nanny and she also took care of my husbands siblings (total of 9 children)when they were still young. My husband has a big family. :)
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
It is very common to be able to babysit for other families once you are a teenager. That said, I think that it is best for a child to have some experience at being home alone before they are to be trusted taking care of other people's children.
• China
28 Jan 10
I have read a magazine before.A boy ,age 6,he mother let him by car alone and didnt worry about it.and her son thought this experience was very exciting.but most parents think this is a dangerous maneuver.but the boys parents said,we should let our children to creat their own experiences,not to protect him.protect him just equal harm him.so I think let you boy enjoy their their own life.best wishes for you family
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Now, here, I don't care how old that my children are, they are not going to be allowed to wait in the car without an adult because there have been far too many bad things that happen because of being in the car alone.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
27 Jan 10
My mom was leaving me home alone when I was like 6... but I was very mature and always knew exactly what I could and couldn't do when my mother wasn't home. I never tried to cause trouble. I began leaving my son home alone at around 9 years old. Unfortunately I have 5 kids, and at the time we only had 1 car. When I needed it for errands I'd have to drive my husband to work, and our car did not fit all the children. So the oldest was left home while I brought hubby to and from work. He was given the speech about not answering the phone or door, and making sure no one knew he was home alone, and not leaving the house or using the stove or anything like that. He never had any problems. I don't leave him home often anymore, even though he is now almost 13. Although he's mature enough, I know he spends his time alone watching TV or playing video games, and unfortunately he's usually grounded and not allowed to do such things. But these days we have a car that fits all the kids, so there's no reason to leave him home alone anymore.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I do believe that space issues are one of the reasons that people will leave children at home alone. Honestly, I think that my oldest would be okay, but morally I don't feel like she is old enough to be at home alone.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
27 Jan 10
Well, we lived in quite a deserted place on a farm and so we were isolated.Our children were never left alone at all. If we did go our in the evenings then they always came with us when they were small and later, when they were older, then our household helper babysat for us. `But that was when the youngest was about 4 or 5 years old. I remember in the U.K. as a child, it was against the law for a child to be left alone under the age on nine years. I was left alone by the age of four - would actually put myself to bed! My father worked at night and my mother would go out with my two older sisters aged then about 9 and 13 years old. They would go to the movies or visiting or something. I did know that Mary was the mother of Jesus so I made her my mother and asked her to love and take care of me. My understanding was of course limited. There is so much more violence now but 10 yearsold seems appropriate for a short period as long as the child is familiar with basic safety rules and does not answer the door etc. Phone contact would be necessary too. Wow! Your posts have really sent me down memory lane!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
The world is definitely far different now than it was when we were children. There has only been one time that I wasn't at home for my daughter when she got home from school and that is because I got caught up in traffic and I felt terrible about it. However, I know that she did fine for the three minute difference between the time that the bus got to our house and I got into the driveway. Still, I feel terrible about it and wish I had left from my errand just a few minutes earlier.
• India
27 Jan 10
This is vry relative concept and depends on the economical, social culturel backgorund of person. In most of the developing countries people left their children alone at home even at age of 2,3 and go for their work to get bread .
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Well, in our culture the age of two or three definitely wouldn't be acceptible. However, some of the older ages are far more acceptible for it.
@KRC31028 (39)
• United States
27 Jan 10
Well my children are way too young to even think about leaving them alone. I have years to consider it. My oldest is gonna be six in a couple weeks and my other child is 17 months. But I think that it all depends on the child. Some children mature more quickly and can handle being left at home alone for a few minutes and some can not. But I think when your children reach that stage you will know. If you feel comfortable leaving them alone then they are probably old enough. When you decide to try you should just test it out a few times first. Tell them you are leaving and just go sit down the road where you can still see the house for a few minutes. THats what I would do.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Oh, I think it is definitely important to give test runs if you are going to leave your children at home alone. For me, the test runs would be easy too because there is a church right behind our house that I could go to the parking lot and actually be able to watch my house.