Help on good advice i can give to my brother i need to stop the pain
January 28, 2010 9:31am CST
Ok i need to give you a few details before.... My brother and his girlfriend have been dating for about a year and a half, he recently proposed to her and she said yes. He is in his last semester of college, he just started a full time job working nights, before that he was receiveing disabilty checks monthly. He takes her out the day his checks came, he spends most of it on take out, he has boughten her an ipod touch, a nice engagement ring, new i touch cellphone on his plan etc etc.Ok no big they are engaged thats fine... Ok the problem... He has had 2 or 3 different jobs in the past year, she always causes an argumetn that she never sees him that he needs to quit work and he does.. ok this new job he really enjoys and its at night mon--fri at hours that he cant be with her anyways. Well 2 nights after he started she went onto his facebook and chatted with one of his college buddies. She then gave him her facebook an message info. My brother goes to school and all his guys riends start laughing at him that its bad that they talk to his girlfriend more then he does etc etc. so My brother confronted her about this and she said yea but werw just friends i can have friends, he agreed and all was good. until one night my brother was on the comuter and went to facebook and she was still logged in on his laptop it showed activity that she was messageing, so he opened the box, she had spent 2 hours talking to this guy saying bad things about him, how he never takes her out, that hes a loser and cant hold a job, taht he never buys her anything etc etc. and then the talk went to more intimate things ( if you can understand waht i mean). so again he confronted her about this and she blew up. saying that they need space and its all his fault that he has betrayed her and that she doesnt think he loves her anymore and that none of this would have happend if he wasnt going to school and working because then he would be with her... etc etc.. soooo my brother hasnt been to school the last 3 days saying he is dropping out that he is a horrible boyfriend and that he will do whatever it takes to make it rgith between them.. he comes over my house every day for the last week now crying and really upset and ive said all that i think i can say i know there things there that im not getting to and i cant seem to figure it out.. if you have ANY advice that i can give to him i would greatly appreciate it.. its so hard to see someone you love in so much pain! thanks in advance
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29 Jan 10
certainly we would not see the painful result.as bystanders,we hope that lover between them should have good result.maybe they have their default,they need time keep cool and think about this,it is important time for them to think about their relationship whether they continue or not.you should comfort your brother and dont ask about this thing,let him to think about it.i believe that he could find the answer and decide what he want.
29 Jan 10
Hi beautifulmama, Well, I would say that you should advice your brother that this girl might not be the right one for him. If she were the right one, she'd be encouraging him in his studies and work. it's not easy to do both. he's probably stressed and tired enough as it is, and the role of a girlfriend is to support your boyfriend. So I would say he is better off without her.
29 Jan 10
I hope no one gets offended by this but i don't think she really in love with your brother. For a fiance to say such things about their partner is just beyond words. I think your brother really do deserve someone better because he's working so hard for their relationship to work and look what he get in return. Your brother might feel betrayed by if you think about it, he might've done that might make her feel this way and start talking about your brother like this. MY advice for you as a bystander is to try to comfort you brother as much as you can. Try and get his self-esteem back and go to school. As for the girl, well try talking to her. I would say don't meddle too much or else the problem will only get worse. Hope this helps
29 Jan 10
Sorry to use this word, but i think that girl's a b*tch. She's self-centered, she's a cheater and she doesn't even know how to understand your brother's situation. Your brother doesn't deserve someone like her. She deserves someone who's a lot better and someone who doesn't talk about him behind his back. I hope your brother realizes this soon. He should find someone who's willing to understand, accept and love him for who he is.
29 Jan 10
hello.. just keep offering your brother some solace whenever he needs it. offer him all the encouragement to go on even without his girlfriend and try to let him see what happened to his life with his girlfriend trying to boss him around.Look they we're engaged but then the girlfriend still allows herself to talk dirty with other guys. Is that the right attitude for a decent bride to be? Your brother is lucky they are not married yet and he uncovered those bad attitudes that his girlfriend has. Its not the end of the world to loose a girlfriend who does not give importance to what you do. There are millions of women all over the globe. Look at the ratio of men to women.. this site shows that there are more men then women.(http://www.epodunk.com/county_data2/). of course at first your brother is going to refute all your inputs because its a fresh heartache but in time he will subsequently see the truth of the matter. try also to introduce him to some women in your vicinity, an old friend or classmate maybe. One on the same range with him.. Working and studying type as well so they can create an understanding of some sort.. I hope this could help a bit.:D
28 Jan 10
I hope that your brother would soon realize that he deserves someone better. Eventhough you give him advices every single minute, it will still be up to him or it's only him that could decide if he wants to stay with the girl or not (I just wish he would not). Just be there for him and keeps on listening. She should'nt marry that type of girl.
28 Jan 10
If everything you said is true and you know all the important facts than I feel sorry for him because he attached to a girl that isn't serious and doesn't know what she wants. Don't encourage him to try to fix that kind of relationship. Tell him there is other fish in the sea. It's hard but it'll only pile up and become harder if she doesn't want him. I really wish you and especially him good luck he seems a great hard working guy that treats a lady like he should.