how far away fro my happyness?????

@bingchen (1126)
China
February 1, 2010 6:08am CST
i find that my happyness it seems far away.i often ask me where is my family and where is my hapyyness?i start to work when i graduate from technical shcool and live alone out of my family.although i have a family.but i dont be willing to come home because of my parent's unhappy marriage.they often quarral before me and make me not quite.so i select avoiding way to live outside.of course i meet many difficulties when i live alone,many pressure from life and work make me not breath.at the same time living alone make me sad,nobody can help me.i only talk to myself i should be strong in my life.so i silently intolerate this.but unfortunate thing still happen,my little sister was sick because mental problem.she often loud and abuse others with dirty words and make me angry.when her illness was sick,she did not know anything and start to destroy anything.even one day she take a knife and want to kill me.i was afraid of what she do.because of her illness,my family put into sad situation.my heart was broken heart.i dont know where is my happyness?i often ask me why i meet this difficulties.why did the god give me quite life and even live in poor situation.i still like this.i find that i could not select anything because of this family.including my marriage.i find that i was hurted by my family.i dont believe the love and marriage.i still live alone for the rest of my life.but it is impossible for me.because of sad family.i should take this responsiblity and surport this family with my father.so i decide to marry a poor guy who have good heart and working hard character,i believe that this man would take this responsibility with me.i find that i would devote my life and time to this family.sometimes i dont know what is my life's aim.i am tired of what i do for this family.i find that my happyness it seems far away.this living make me disappointed and sad.i want to avoid this,but when i see my older father look after my sick mother and little sister and make me sad.i would not give up them and live alone.i am too sad.especially today.my little sister want to destroy my favorite computer and let me hate her.the spring festivel would be coming.i find that my heart is empty,i dont know where is my family.if i would come into the world agian.i hope that this unfortunate life would not happen around me.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@saphrina (31738)
• South Africa
1 Feb 10
Sweatie, now you listen too your old auntie. Life is what you make of it. Whether you come from an unhappy family or not. You are the only one who can make your own happiness. You should never look back. Only move forward. Getting married to try and be happy, sorry, that is not going to work. You really try too hard. Take each day and each step at a time. Make the differences in your life that you want, that is going to make you happy, then you will see, everything will fall into place and it will get better. Before you know it you hava made your own happiness. Good Luck and TATA.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
1 Feb 10
thanks for your comments.i find that your are a humorous woman.what you said is rihgt.i met many difficulties in my life,but i still adhere to go on step by step and find my happyness.i am glad to hear what you enourage to me.good luck
@saphrina (31738)
• South Africa
2 Feb 10
Whenever you need some encouragement, you know where to find me. TATA.
@dorannmwin (36656)
• United States
4 Feb 10
It is difficult in life when we go through periods of depression and all of us do. When I am feeling at my lowest I will try to think about the blessings that I do have in my life. I am blessed that I have a great relationship with my mother. I've got a huge extended family that is very supportive. I've also got a wonderful husband and two of the best children in the world. I find my happiness in thinking about the blessings that I do have in my life.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
5 Feb 10
thanks for your comments.certainly sometimes i find that i have any mind to deal with it.maybe the blessings with sincere heart would be moved by the god and give me a spirit help.which i do let me forget temporary suffering.
@Mystorg (12)
• China
2 Feb 10
i think living itself is a kind of happiness.you have mother and father,and they gave your birth.you can make friends with other people.you can brethe fresh air and relax yourself.you can enjoy warm sunlight.you can eat kinds of delicious foods. you can change your bad conditions if you become stronger,trust yourself,plz.this is my first writing in english on this site,and i hope you can change and enjoy your life.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
3 Feb 10
thanks for your comment.i would accept your advice and make me better and wish you happyness in life.
• Philippines
2 Feb 10
At first glance your sister is deranged but if you take an introspective look she can't hurt anybody. She tried to kill, she tried to destroy but never did. I feel your sister is not that bad as you think. She just needs someone who cares for her and the family she is in simply ignore her. I'm not a teacher or psychic but I have this habit of looking inside a person and being accurate about it also. If dogs can be transformed from furious to gentle, so why not with your sister. You just have to comfort and assure her that you are there for her.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
3 Feb 10
my little sister need help from my family.it is long time to care her and encourage her to start new life.it need time to recover her.but this process make me sad.sometimes i feel helpless for her illness.i hope that the miracle can happen and she would heal quickly.
• Philippines
2 Feb 10
Do you know that here on this earth...everybody hurts? All i mean all feel pain, pain has many faces. But...do you know that always, always, our blessings outnumbers our pains? They do :), they do. Look around you, look inside you, and u will know ,inspite of all the heartaches you have had and u have right now, still u got lots of blessings and there are people who have been less fortunate than you are.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
2 Feb 10
there are lots of unfortunate people exist in our life.i should not be sad like that.maybe what you said is right i get lots of blessings and give some comfort for myself.
@savypat (20245)
• United States
1 Feb 10
Why are you looking for happiness outside yourself. Only you can make yourself happy. No matter what happens the Sun still shines and the Moon rises, you are physically well, and able to eat, sleep, in shelter. You are have so much good fortune and can't even see it becasue the lives of others blind you. Do what is within your control and let life take care of the rest. Blessings
@bingchen (1126)
• China
1 Feb 10
thanks for your comment.indeed i would be covered eyes by suffering and never see any hopes in my life.what you said is right.happyness control by myself.i should look for happyenss outside myself.
@Godmother (476)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 10
Bingchen, life sometimes seems too cruel for us. But every time I am depressed, God would show me other peoples misery who seems worse than mine. That way, I have courage and found comfort to go on. I try not to focus on my feelings and troubles, because that will only make us more sad. You must go out and talk to others. Try to join an organization to meet people. That way, you will learn to see that life does not only consist of troubles and sadness. Your season of happiness will come. Just try to train yourself to being thankful for each little thing. God said, if you are faithful in appreciating the little things, He will give you more, and more bigger things, to make you happy. Read books to learn new things, and sing joyful songs.
@bingchen (1126)
• China
1 Feb 10
thanks for your comments.what you said is right.other peoples misery who seems worse than mine and not only see owned suffering.although the life is not good for me.but i can learn new thing and make me happy.