Does men feel bothered when the wife makes more money?

United States
February 6, 2010 2:04pm CST
I have seen many marriages where the wife makes more money than the husband, and they have a very nice life together, they get along, everything is perfect. But in other cases the husband feels all the time lower than the wife because she makes more money, and I personally suffer that situation years ago, my ex boyfriend was jealous of me because I was doing better in graduate school than him and that he wasn't respected in the faculty as much as I was. Then on the other hand my current boyfriend makes less money than me, and he doesn't care, he is just happy for all the success I have achieved, what are you thoughts? Does men care when wife makes more money than them?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@qamarep (4447)
• Pakistan
7 Feb 10
no i wont mind that because it is totally on the talent of the person not on the gender.
@regal_aeros (2605)
• Singapore
7 Feb 10
for me, if my man doesn't feel bothered i would. i guess it was how i was brought up. i prefer the idea of a man being smarter or more successful in life. but that said, there are some friends of mine that don't mind their guy to earn less than them. i guess at times it can be individual. And as for the men, some have pride and egos and are MCPs.
@sang2k2 (1833)
• India
7 Feb 10
yes they do care, infact it all depends upon person to person. but if taken a poll one would definately see that the man feel inferior if their wifes are earning more. the reason for cause of concern is one self attitude comes in picture ..self ego gets hurt. second is what would society feel about it...other pepople comments these are the things that matter thats how man cant take their wife earning better. A few cass of man would actually feel proud about it and would njoy the priveldge of having a higher earning wife. At times i have witnessed that man would nvr wana marry somone1 earning better than him...
• India
7 Feb 10
some men do care when his wife makes money than him... but it need not be so.. as you said if he is really concerned for you he ll be happy for the success... its a natural sort of a complex which certain ppl get... if your mind is clear then everything would be the right way...
@mandybeau (279)
• New Zealand
7 Feb 10
I think any male that is jealous of his partners good fortune, doesn't deserve that person. It's a bit stupid, I mean both benefit from one anothers wealth.
@ian1979 (47)
• Philippines
7 Feb 10
When your partner is earning more there is no reason to get jealous but this rather gives you an opportunity to strive more to earn more. I think you should be happy if your partner is earning more because it means you have more money to save, more food on your plate, you are able to pay your bills on time. I think we should not be insecure rather we should be supportive of each other.. If your partner is insecure because you earn more, its better to talk about it with him and discuss the positive aspect of such financial blessing..
@EvrWonder (3575)
• Canada
6 Feb 10
Good point. I have seen this myself, where the man feels a bit inferior when the woman is making more than he. Perhaps it hurts the ego of the male. In some cases a man feels that he must be the bread winner sort of speak. I think more and more this is changing as women continue to rise in the corporate world. There was a time where I was making more than my partner and there was a bit of sore feelings on his behalf. Once talking it over, he was a little relieved but not entirely. Perhaps he was old school and so the idea that the man is the main source to provide was ingrained in his upbringing. Personally, i don't think it really matters, yet I feel somewhat inferior when I am in a situation where my partners income is far greater than my own but what can one do? Get another job and try to work it part time while we are already working full time? Hm.
@prasunsam (359)
• India
6 Feb 10
they point you have raised is very much relevant its the male ego that comes in between when woman starts to make more money they feel inferior and that's why all the misunderstanding happens.
• India
6 Feb 10
I think except very few men all of us will have the so called ego problem when their wife earn more......And truly said I am not differ from them........
• United States
6 Feb 10
I'm not old enough to be in this situation....but I personally wouldn't care, though I have noticed a LOT of shows and stuff that make fun of this situation. I think there's just a general outlook that men are supposed to be the ones making the most money, that put the food on the table and support their families. I think they feel discouraged, maybe even disgraced when they can't accomplish this because they think they've let down their family...this puts their manhood in question. Atleast, that's how it goes from what I know talking to others. I'm glad that you have found someone who isn't so narrow-minded though, and I wish you two the best of luck! :)
• Indonesia
6 Feb 10
for some, it isn't a big deal. but for most of them, especially the conservative ones, will surely care about that. usually man's pride is unbelievably high, though it is natural. if you are happen to have a boyfriend who can accept that, you should be happy, since this kind of man is still not much around. although there is better chance to find such a man in europe than in asia