How are you influenced by negative people?

@jesssp (2739)
Canada
February 9, 2010 6:04pm CST
Do you have a lot of negative people in your life, or even just one REALLY negative person? How do you react to negative people? How do you deal with them and how does their negativity influence you? Are YOU a negative person? I have always considered myself to be a pretty negative person, until I started to spend more time with someone who is really, truly negative. People with bleak outlooks and perpetual glass-half-empty personalities never really bothered me before but I now realize that's because I'd never been close to someone whose negativity dominated their personality and held them back so much. One good thing about being around someone so negative is that it's made me into a much more positive person. Instead of automatically having a poor attitude about something I've found myself actually stopping to think about things. I stop to consider both sides a lot more now because being around this person has made me realize how much you can limit yourself and your life by always automatically saying 'no' or thinking the worst. So what are your experiences with negativity and negative people?
6 people like this
24 responses
@spalladino (17922)
• United States
10 Feb 10
I am a very positive person...I can find the bright side of just about any situation...while my husband is pretty negative. He has PTSD, which is an anxiety disorder, so he deals with a lot of negative thoughts and moods. His theory is that if you expect the worst and it turns out good, you have a nice surprise but, if it doesn't, you're prepared. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I express my thoughts to him. Most of the time it helps. There have been times though when he has brought me down...and there have been times when I've had to get away from his negativity and spend some time with more positive minded people in order to get back in the groove.
2 people like this
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
I think your husband is very lucky to be with someone who has such a positive outlook, if you were more like him it would probably be terrible for his self esteem (and yours). I can understand the logic of the nice surprise if it works, prepared if it doesn't theory but I think by limiting themselves people miss out on much bigger and better things than the odd nice surprise. I really did share this mindset until quite recently and I'm glad I'm starting to see things in a more positive light.
@ab48726 (156)
• United States
10 Feb 10
Hey there jesssp! I think the key to being a good person is realizing that pretty much everything in this universe is based on the good vs. the bad, the positive and the negative. Even physics proves to us that everything positive must be balanced by something negative, therefore everything in life is pretty much a balancing act. In my opinion, the best way to experience the good side of life is to expose yourself to the bad. You don't have to be a bad person, just be aware of the negative things out there and you will appreciate the things that you have. That being said, I think we are all predisposed to be somewhat negative, it's in our nature. The only way that we can work around that and live in the good is by realizing what kind of negative people there are out there, it really puts things into perspective and sheds a whole new light on life. I'm not sure if this whole things makes sense, i tend to ramble on about things like this, but hopefully somebody out there understands me. Good question here, have a wonderful day, and happy mylotting!
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
LOL, don't worry, your ramble made sense! I think you're 100% right. But what's interesting is that by being so negative this person is keeping himself from being exposed to the bad. Two negatives don't make a positive (or do they? I'm not really much for physics. In this case they don't)! But they're also shutting out the good. It's definitely about balance and by being so far to one side they aren't getting any balance to their life at all.
@dragon54u (31644)
• United States
10 Feb 10
I quit hanging out with negative people a long time ago, I just can't take it! I'm a glass half-full person although I wasn't always. I'm much happier this way. When I meet a negative person I try to pass on some positive vibes but if they bounce off I won't hang around that person very long. Not that I won't associate with them at all but there is so much negativity in the world that even my powers of optimism sometimes wilt.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
It is quite frustrating when people seem to be invincible to positive thoughts and energy. Being around such a negative person has helped me to become more positive but I also don't want to waste much more energy trying to get them to see the light.
@katsmeow1213 (28910)
• United States
10 Feb 10
I'd say on the whole I am a negative person... of course I do have my positive moments. My mother is a lot more negative than I am. I've been realizing since I've been speaking to her again just how negative she is, and how much I'd changed since not being around her. Oh I was worse when I was like 20. Then when I moved in with hubby I pretty much stopped talking to my mother for awhile, and I seem to have calmed down and become a little bit more positive. It's not always easy to deal with her now. Sometimes when she says things I just have to roll my eyes and wonder what's wrong in her head. I'll later go and complain to hubby about what she's been saying or doing. Other than that I try not to let it get me down or anything. It is definitely something I'll still need to work on though.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Just seeing the way this person does things and how they conduct their life has really made me realize that being negative just makes things harder and life less fulfilling. I'm still not a super upbeat person and I probably never will be, but I like to consider myself more realistic than negative and I am working on being more positive. Being around someone so bleak and sulky has really made me realize that I never want to be like that.
@Hatley (164237)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Feb 10
hi jesssp well I know this one person whom I like but she is so darned negative and mostly about the food that the cooks serve here at Gold Crest. So when she starts, I agree with some of her statements then she mentions some item of food that I really think they do quite well here and I brag it up something fierce. So often she will admit that that food was pretty good after all. I have managed to get her to laugh and smile more too and be a bit more optimistic about life in general even here in this retirement center thats not very exciting at all. I feel more optimistic just listening to her bleak outlook as I now think about things more. I now appreciate the laughter of one member here who can get us to laugh at just about anything, and he is the most sensitive person I know,always ready to help anyone who looks in need of help. he is about the age of my son and is a very positive person too.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Sometimes it's easy to think negatively when you're in certain places or situations but it sure doesn't get you anywhere. I'm glad this person made me see that.
@artistry (4153)
• United States
10 Feb 10
...Hi jesssp, There is one negative thinking or leaning person in my life. He is negative to my way of thinking, because he basically has low self esteem. Whenever there is a positive proposition put forth, he finds something that will turn it into a pure negative situation. I try to stop him, by letting him hear what he just said. It appears that he wants to wallow in the negative side of things. I on the other hand, try to think as positively as I can. Life, I feel is hard enough to move through and accomplish things, without the added burden of thinking as negatively as you can. I try to tell this friend of mine he should try to break out of his negative mind set. Think positive, positive things tend to happen. My belief. Take care.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
The person I'm thinking of is much the same. No matter how you present an opportunity or situation to them they always find a way to put a negative spin on it. I've tried approaching things from different angles in an effort to help them see the other sides but just like you said, they seem to like wallowing in it. It will just get to the point where I won't even try anymore, if they want to sit home alone and essentially pout they can go right ahead.
@Allie_xoxo (1064)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
negitivity is a cloud that hangs over everything. When one person is negitive, those feelings cast a shadow over everyone close by. They say that a smile is contagious, well so is a frown. That's why we should do our best to bring our light to others and not our darkness.
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
In this case the other person's negativity has actually given me a more positive outlook, and I'm grateful for that.
• United States
10 Feb 10
In general, I lean more towards the negative side, especially when it comes to important things. That way, I'm not too disappointed when the outcome isn't favorable, but disappointed enough that I'll work harder for next time. I have also recently come to know someone is much more negative all the time, and I'll admit it's annoying. But like you said, I have become more positive because of it.
1 person likes this
@elmiko (6637)
• United States
10 Feb 10
negative people can get annoying. after being around someone and getting to know their so negative i start to accept them as negative people. i realize thats who they are and how they react to things. their negativity no longer effects me once i realize their like that so much. theres no way things can be so negative when it comes to people acting in such a way.
1 person likes this
@atv818 (1987)
• United Arab Emirates
10 Feb 10
Don't be influenced by negative people. If you allow that, then eventually you're going to be on the losing end. Be with people who are positive and successful so that you'll learn the right way to victory. Remember: Birds of the same feathers flock together
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21662)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Ho jessp, It can be very difficult if you have a lot of negative people in your life, but it's important that you know that you can rise above it. While it's true that you cannot change other people, we can change the way we see them. Everyone has good points and if we focas on these we tend to bring out the best in them. Another way to handle this is with self talk. We all carry on a constant chatter with ourselves and it's important to keep a check on what it is that we are saying. If we notice any negative talk, be sure to change it, especially if the negative talk is about us because it can lead to depression. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@lorelai (1558)
• Italy
10 Feb 10
Well, negativity! My mother is a negative person, a very negative person actually, she never sees the bright side of the things but the black one, so it was rather difficult to grow up with her. I hadn't realised that until a few years ago. Since then I've been really bad to the people I consider negative. I am still the same with my mother but I met a girl who is incredibly negative and I am trying to contradict her in every possible way. Negative people are people who are unhappy with their lives and we have to understand that, they are trying to make us feel bad about our lives just because they feel bad about their lives. I met this girl about 2 months ago who never said anything nice about any person I know so when she starts saying bad things about people I just contradict her. I've been living with a negative person for too long and I know that negativity can't be fed.
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
I agree with you. Sometimes the more we try to get people to see the bright side the tighter they close their eyes. It is very frustrating and I won't let myself get sucked into it.
1 person likes this
@lorelai (1558)
• Italy
24 Mar 13
Nicely said. I guess there are people who just don't care about other people's oppinions so I just gave up explaining.
• United States
10 Feb 10
Living with or spending alot of time with a negative person can really have an impact on your life! I have lived this life for over 20 years, not easy. There has been times early on that i let it effect me in a negative way. I regret letting him effect me this way and years later can see now how it really stoled alot of years of my life. When someone is so negative it is very hard not to become like that person in your thinking if thats what you hear constantly. Now i try to focus on my life and my kids and live life to the fullest with a postive outlook. After reading your experience got me thinking maybe my past has made me a much better person today. I could have allowed it all to consume me but instead ive taken the experience and turned it into something more positive. I see the good in most everything now and even when things get tough look for ways to make them better rather than just excepting them.
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
I am actually quite grateful that I ran into this situation so early in life, it makes me wonder how people could go through their whole life being total sour pusses. It just makes life more difficult and they miss out on so much.
• United States
10 Feb 10
You are right they miss out on alot of good relationships. I know family and friends that cant stand to be around my husband. His relationsip with his kids is limited at best. I would say it is 90% of the reason for our marriage falling apart. In my mind its just such a waste of a life in a very talented man.
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
hey jesssp.. i think its all about mind set.. if you let yourself be influenced by surrounding people around you, then i think that you would be easily eroded depending on who you are hanging out with.. you must learn to stand for yourself and make stand your ground to be more positive on things and happenings around you.. negativity will not get you far from where you started.. since it will just be one of the reasons why you will get pulled down to the bottom.. keep a positive mind set and when things go wrong, move on and try to make the best out of it..
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
In this case being around a negative person has been turning me into a more positive one, so for me it's actually been beneficial
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
thats nice .. if it benefits you alot hang with them.. so that you wont be able to be negative yourself..
@dorannmwin (36656)
• United States
12 Feb 10
I've just realized in the past couple of months that my husband is a negative person. I never saw it in him in the past, but since he's had surgery for his kidney stones I see that he is a negative person. He's convinced himself that he has wasted a ton of money trying to get his kidneys straightened up and he says that it is for nothing because he is still having pain. Because of him being so negative it is dragging me down because I am a typically positive person and his being negative really affects my mood.
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
17 Feb 10
Hopefully that's the kind of negative attitude that will pass, not be permanent. Sometimes it's so easy to be bleak when things are looking down. Hopefully once things start to look brighter his attitude will improve!
@writersedge (22577)
• United States
11 Feb 10
Lately I've gotten rid of the most negative person in my life. She's ruined hers and her husband's life and she seemed to be setting out to ruin mine, plus she also seemed to be draining all my energy. The rest, I've limited the amount of time connecting with them.
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
17 Feb 10
Some negative people also seem to be very vindictive. They just aren't happy unless they're making other people as miserable as they are.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
10 Feb 10
I think everyone has negative times but to be that way all the time is really a drag for u & your friends. U can't accomplish a thing by being negative all the time. I can be very sympathetic to people when they are having a rough time but don't care anything about being around someone that bases their life on negativity.
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
I agree, it's definitely not something to base your life on.
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
10 Feb 10
I try to be positive. If I'm feeling negative or down then I put some effort into trying to change up my attitude. I don't any longer have too many negative people in my life and definitly not on a regular basis. I find that I'm with someone for too long that has a negative outlook that after a while I start feeling down in the dumps myself. Likewise, when i'm around happy and cheerful people I feel upbeat and happy myself.
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
10 Feb 10
Being around this person has made me feel more frustrated than anything else. I try to put a positive spin on things or approach situations in a way that makes it sound more appealing but they always just come up with the worst possible outcome. I don't let it get me down though, all it's done so far is make me want to think more positively for myself.
• United States
10 Feb 10
I really considered myself a positive person, I have a lot of things to life for, but sometimes I really don't like when I am around negative people, I don't know if it is for my background, or where I am from, what really sometimes bothers me about negative people, is that they complain about everything, and I really am from a country where people sometimes go to bed without eat, so sometimes when people complain about that they have to make a long line in the supermarket, and things like that, I don't know that if the fact that I am from a poor country makes me really grateful for the fact that I can eat everyday and I have freedom, I am really grateful for all things in life. So I really try to stay away from the negative people.
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
i do have friends who are negative persons but I just avoid the conversation if it starts to become really negative. everyone has his/her opinion, you can't really change other people's outlook towards things. but sometimes. talking to negative people makes you realize that there are other sides of the situation.