When To Let Go a Difficult Relationship?
February 10, 2010 9:17pm CST
Hello All! I have heard so many stories in the past about people who are so martyrs if not heroes in their respective relationships..that no matter how they suffered for almost a lifetime in a certain relationship, they still continue to hold on to it for sooo long a time! Why? Until when? Please share: When to let go a difficult relationship?
14 Sep 10
i don't know..i guess things doesn't always turn out the way you want it to. That there are times when you give love more but you get love less. It doesn't have to have an expiration date..maybe there are people who are stupid enough to stay in a toxic relationship. I've been there myself and it felt like hell hearing what people around me had to say..but it really felt soo good to be out of it now. I just know 1 thing's for sure: enough is never enough until you can have the guts to put an end to it. :)
17 Sep 10
hi....to each in my own understanding i just think that i can let go a difficult relationship if both of you lost love in each other, you don't have any feelings anymore or sometimes its just happen that you fall to another guy/girl; you know what it really hurts because you need to let go someone you love in order for him to be happy that's love you need to sacrifice for it.thank you that's all.
7 Oct 10
for a relationship to work you need to trust in each other.. when you love a person you need to love them truthfully.. never give them a reason to live you.. if they live you without any clear reason its maybe because the love is gone or something else.. but for me, never be a martyr person.. if you think that the relationship is not going well..or there are a lot of problems occurring.. try to solve it both but if you think that your partner is not doing his thing, maybe his love for you is gone..or maybe he just doesn't care..
2 Oct 10
Until you find out that you are damaging yourself without restoration, ruining your life, ruining possible your kids life. People might not let go because they have to face many things and most of all their they are afraid to get hurt or be alone and they don't understand that they are damaging critically their lives sometimes. You can't let someone you love so easily.
2 Oct 10
If a person is considering getting back together with you, or trying again, they will let you know. They will call and say "I have been thinking about you" or "I miss you". They will schedule a time to see you and talk to you. They will try to sort through issues that lead to the breakup. There will be clear indications that they want to reconcile or at least try to reconcile ;)
29 Sep 10
letting go to someone you really love is a hard work to do..it's a mix up feeling..afraid of losing,afraid what will happen in life if that someone is gone don't know what to do and what will happen after the breakup,especially when you have children and your in the middle age and most especially in that long time your only a plain housewife,.keep asking to yourself how will I start?. All the hurt aches you will endure just to keep that relationship stay together.. it makes you really feel stupid, sometimes, an irony, its better to poison that someone when you feel deep down what he did is too much but you can not do anything just closing the eyes and cry is the best medicine.
24 Sep 10
Letting go of someone you love is never easy.The truth of it is, once any bond is made it's hard to break that bond. Just like welding, when two things are bonded together, to get them apart something has to be broken. When people bond they bond at their heart, so unfortunately, when you break a bond you're heart is where the bond has to be broken, thus the pain of heartbreak. There are so many times in life when you have to let go of someone you love, but that doesn't mean letting go of love.
22 Sep 10
i think it would be high time to let go of a relationship if both parties are not growing with the relationship.if the pain and disrespect is growing.if a persons principle or his/her identity is going astray.If love is still present but the pain and resentment is getting stronger its time to let go and let time heal the wound of a broken heart..its better that way than losing the one we love and losing ourselves as well
20 Sep 10
Good morning. It sounds simple. When we are holding on to something that we don't need - we should probably let go. So why do we find it so difficult?? The best thing ti do is to accept the reality. Acceptance does not mean that we agree they treated us correctly. It doesn't mean that we must shut off our feelings for the other person but It simply means that we are fully aware that the relationship is not going to be as we desired and sadly cannot change the other person;s feeling.
18 Sep 10
When to let go a difficult relationship? Based on my experienced, you don't need to think or plan when to let go...It would just come naturally, in the right time. And you'll be surprised that you did it. As what I've shared in one of my discussions, I stayed with my four years live in partner even though I caught him so many times with every other girls not because I believed that he loves me, but because I love him.... So even for all the heartaches and difficulties at that time, I still tried to work things out between us. But then one day I was surprised and realized that I don't love him anymore. All I can feel is pitty for him, because i know for sure that he can maybe fine another or many girls BUT he cant never find another girlfriend like me. And that's the time I need to let go... Been martyr for four years I know, but I never regret it. Thanks to him for making me a better person...
3 Sep 10
I also undergone a very difficult relationship. I was very in-love with that girl and I have given almost everything and anything for her. Even my grades and time for friends and families. If you are hurt by that person, just simply enjoy your life and try to move on. Think f an empty cup. It has no liquid filled in it. So he doesn't have to worry if he fells because he doesn't have anything to think about. Empty your cup. The point is, never be affected, and let go to whatever makes you happy.
3 Sep 10
Well, even if I'm not expert of this kind of relationship, I think I can say something about how to let go a difficult relationships.If you can't survive to go on or continue your relationship, just tell to him/her either you want to let go of that kind of relationship or you should talk to each other to solve your problems that you are arguing for so that the both of you well understand with each other. For short, understanding is the solution of that problem because understanding with each other can escape this difficulties in your relationship. That's all I can comment. . ")
• United States
12 Feb 10
Honestly, I salute those people who choose to stay in a relationship even if they are hurting physically, emotionally, and morally because partly they are brave inside and they commit to whatever the two of them have agreed. It's really hard to tell you when to give up because every person has it's own tolerance to pain. So I guess the most basic perimeter to get loose is when you think you can no longer bear the pain. When you think it's beyond your boundaries and that the pain keeps on repeating over and over again. Perhaps our tolerance maybe shorter than some people that's why we give up so easily and we hate those who stay in that kind of relationship because we believe they are crucifying themselves when in fact they are still tolerating it. So I guess it vary in every person that's why I can say we can't judge the people who are martyrs in their own way. Friend, thanks for posting another interesting topic.God bless!
11 Feb 10
hello there, this is difficult for me to response for i never had a difficult relationship before. my wife hasa friend who is in a difficult relationship and it is hard for he r to let go. she always complains and vent down to my wife, but when my wife give advice and suggestion still she will not follow that. all i can say is when you are in a relationship then you are no longer happy might as well get out of it than fooling yourself. if you think you are in a relationship that is not worth it then you need to find someone else that would make you feel special and respect you. it is hard yes but you need to go out of the relationship for there is no longer love on that.
• United States
11 Feb 10
From my own experience I was one such martyr in a love relationship. Actually as I look back in time, I don't even think I should call it a love relationship because it was a completely one sided relationship. I put years into a very bad, just downright terrible, relationship with the man who was to be my 2nd husband. I was young, stupid and couldn't possibly have made a worse choice in a partner for myself then this person. I know I was trying to change him into a better type person for me and it wasn't going to happen. I ended up wasted many years of my life on him. I loved him so much I thought I couldn't live without him. The best thing for me would have been to love myself, and my 2 little boys, more then him and enough to drop him like a hot potatoe. But it was a big mistake I didn't end this horrible, hurtful and extremely painful relationship and it went on and on for neigh on 19 years maybe (one and off). If you are in a severely painful relationship your pain will finally subside given much time and eventually the bad (terrible) no good relationship will end due to your love for the person ending. If you waste years of your life like I did you will learn a hard lesson; you might end up alone. Like me, I will be 52 this month and I'm alone. I actually don't know if I even want someone in my life. My final advice to you and other people is: if the relationship is painful end it for good and don't look back. You can find someone much better. A good relationship feels happy, feels good and feels right. It's not painful. To hell with mean men who cause women pain; they don't deserve any love. And my X-husband I'm sure is alone, not in a relationship and deserving to be alone in my opinion. And looking back I don't understand what I ever saw in the guy to begin with. To my 2 boys who are gown now and my younger one lives with me all I've continually said to them is "I'm sorry" for what he put all of us through. And his family is a no-good bunch and they never helped matters either; in fact they contributed to the hurt. They are the kind of people who never learn. They go to their church and still never learn anything. None of them can hurt me anymore. I say to them goodbye and good riddance!
11 Feb 10
When you love unconditionally, then that is the main reason one holds on for long. For me, loving someone is giving a part of myself hoping that i could cause positive change and see it grow within, a continuous constant effort to achieve that change. Letting go is an alternative when love is lost.