what is the best way to tell an aging parent that it's time to stop driving?
11 Feb 10
Hi Rahil_thkr I have not been in this situation before, however I'll try to give the best answer I could. Firstly, you'll have to sit down with them and talk about driving. Ask them how they feel when they are driving. Do not sound angry, upset or things like that with whatever answer they give. Then tell them that you think it might not be a great idea to continue driving.Offer alternatives. Try this " Dad/Mum, I don't think is a good idea that you drive.. Would you be okay if I start driving you around? Don't get my wrong, I am not underestimating your capabilities, I am just worried by the amount of inexperienced drivers on the road, and they might knock you." This would probably make them be defensive and say "But I can still see, but I can still drive and I am a good driver " It is important that you listen to these. It surely hurts for someone to come up to you and tell you you are not fit enough for something like driving. It is emotionally hard for a person to go through aging, and your parents might feel you are just overruling them. Maybe you can compromise with each other. If your parents reduce their driving time, you'll be there to send them anywhere they need to go. It is sure a tough thing to do, and they will get hurt by it. All we can do now is minimise the damage so both parties come to a good decision. Hope things go well with yout parents. Have a nice day.
11 Feb 10
First,stop them from driving alone to any place.See whether they can be accompanied by some one who knows driving well.For some days,allow them to drive and after it,take the driving seat when returning and by and by,slowly,remove them from driving and arrange a driver for them.Persuade them to believe that having a driver can be a status symbol.
11 Feb 10
That would surely be a tough one!!! It's just gonna be like a telling a teenage kid not to drive who has probably just learned to sit behind the wheel. First of all we really need to understand if the driving skills of our parent / any other elderly person in this regard has actually declined or no. It's not necessary that just because they are old, they can't be good drivers. To judge that you will have to accompany them while they drive and start noticing their driving skills. Things that could be dangerous lie slow response, feelig drowsy/sleepy while driving, getting lost in familiar areas and theres a lot more. Only if you conclude that their driving can endanger their and others life is when you really got to get into action. It wont be easy, as you are actually taking away their freedom but somehow you must. It again depends on how well do they consider your suggestions as a son. You could simply try to talk it out in a polite manner explaining the true facts. I would suggest you to involve someone whom they have high regard and respect for like some relative, their friend, a more elderly family member, just about anyone could do that. You have to handle this with a lot of care and compassion.