law questions

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I am currently involved in a malpractice lawsuit,which involves he murder of my son in St.Joe,MO. My son lived with a woman who had his four children. She is getting the social security for all four kids,now she is trying to become the conservator over any monies that we may get for the kids. I personally feel the money should go into trust for the kids,so it will be there when they need it. She wants the house I have no problem with that,but I feel if she gets the kids money they won't have a chance for college after her and her mother get through with it. I mention her mother because she is listed with me,her and a stranger. I feel also that they are trying to pull the wool over my eyes since I live in another state. What should I do?