Divorce and grown children

@dvmurphy (326)
United States
February 15, 2010 10:17pm CST
How do you handle a divorce of a family member with grown children? My sister has left her husband and their kids are grown and gone. She was recently biopcied for cancer of the lungs. A black shadow the size of a human fist was found on her lung. I emailed her kids thinking they would want to know. Two were very upset and cried and called her right away. The other says she doesn't have a mother and will not discuss her mother or her illness. Cancer runs heavily in our family and we just lost our brother to cancer this year. My son has predicted seven deaths in our family right down to the week they died and the last five he wasn't even in our country. I feel my sister is going to die. I do not want the kids who are adults to regret time lost never to be regained with their mother. What can a person do in this situation.
3 responses
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
18 Feb 10
I am very sorry to hear that your sister has lung cancer. Adults should not loose time with a parent because they are upset about their parents divorcing. Divorce can split a family and a disease like cancer can be terrifying. Your sister has three children and two of them contacted her so that is great. It is a shame her other child doesn't wish to contact her. Maybe she will regret her attitude in a couple of years. I think that you should have a crystal clear discussion with your niece. Saying she hasn't got a mother is wrong of her. Good luck.
@dawnald (85130)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Feb 10
You can certainly point that out to the one who doesn't want to know, but you cannot make her change her mind. Only she can. And hopefully she will before it's too late. How sad...
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
16 Feb 10
Your best bet is to stay out. I do feel that the kids will regret making things right with their parents, but you will end up the bad guy in most cases. You did the right thing by contacting them, but it is up to them to make the mends. I cannot imagine such hard feelings happening over something like that, but they will have to live with their decision.