How would you react if....?

@cloud31 (5809)
February 17, 2010 11:50pm CST
How would you react if you have known that your sister/brother having an affair with your ex(partner,gf,bf)that caused you a lot of pain?And your family knows about the mistake he/she did to you? Will you be mad to your sis/brod? Will you intervene to their affair? DO you think you've been disgrace to this? DO you think its a huge consideration not to interfere with them? You may want to share share your thoughts of view and opinion to this topic. Thank you and Happy Lotting ...God bless everyone!
2 people like this
16 responses
• United States
18 Feb 10
Yes I would be very mad. I don't think family members should do that to eachother. I would be more mad at my bro/sis than the other person. Family should stick together and support eacother not sneek around behind each others back and embarrass each other.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
I'd definitely advise her against the relationship, but only up to there. I couldn't really force her to agree with me but at least she wouldn't complain in the end that I didn't do anything about her probable mistake, right? By the way, do these things really happen? because I've never heard of such a thing. It's rare I guess. I mean, isn't there a code or something never to 'date' someone's ex? even within female friends and colleagues? Well, anyhow, it's good that I don't have a younger sister.
@cloud31 (5809)
18 Feb 10
Hello laydee, this is actually not a rare story, a situation between sisters and brothers.You may not heard of anything like this before but it has been done several times to some people around me..It brings unending story to the whole concerned considering both feelings,avoiding to hurt someone and it may lead to some thought of mistakes.But its really a good consideration if in this case we need to make things done in proper not to disappoint one of the most important person in our life. Thank you for responding ..Happy Lotting and God bless1
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Oh, thanks for the best response mark.
• United States
18 Feb 10
If one of my sisters dating my EX I would be furious hurt betrayed all at the same time. That is just something you don't do, its like breaking the code of ethics within your family never date your brother or sisters ex or present boyfriend or girlfriend. I wouldn't interfere in their relationship because I don't like drama but i would distant myself from my sister they both would get a piece of my mind
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
hello cloud, What if the reason why your ex broke up with you is all becoz he/she loves your bro/sis? Was it much painful to accept? Or,can you ever accept it? I know same story like this. My friend broke up with her boyfriend,and she never knew the reason why,until she found out that,her boyfriend and her sister were having an affair,and that her sister is already pregnant. Isn't this much painful?...if i am in this situation,i would surely leave and go to a place where no one knows me, It would be hypocrisy to say that everything will be fine in just a wink of an eye. We cannot change and forgive a person for an overnight. So,i would rather give some space for us...maybe time will come that,we can make things fine. That's for sure,but not for an instant.
@kaylachan (57273)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
18 Feb 10
Your family sounds like mine. sweep everything under the rug and pretend its not happening. I think that's the approach that was taken due to your previous relationship situation, and you have every right to be angry. However, doing something about it isn't going to help you in the long run, it could end up making things worse. So I'd be careful. You could end up making things worse and in a situation you didn't count on.
• United States
19 Feb 10
well id eventually get mad even though just thinking about it. Id see my brother/sis in a total perspective and our trust would collapse between us.
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
I would get mad, so mad, really. I mean, whatever the reason why they fell in love to each other, I wouldn't mind. He's been an ex-lover, there could be a very material reason why we broke up and giving him up must be the best way to do so that I wouldn't feel so much pain. And to think that he might do that to my sister, no way! I would also be mad with my sister because she should have respected my previous relationship with that guy.
@malpoa (1216)
• India
18 Feb 10
Hmm , i wouldnt be in talking terms to both of them in that case!!! I once had this experience...I was seeing someone, and my sister very well knew about the peson and our relation. She was a big flirt then and one day when I went to attend a function (she was also invited, but she chose not to go)she talked to him for over half an hour on phone and she didnt mention it to me...he later told about it and I was very angry with her...later she tried to break our relation...It is difficult to not remeber those episodes.
@mylosha (286)
• India
18 Feb 10
hai generally right from the early age i do not really realize our mistakes until which committed by our sister or brother for example smoking the same to all. but in your case it is not good to discuss to me i just lose my integrity at that place.
@Katie2009 (144)
• China
18 Feb 10
Although I have not been into such situation,I'm sure I will try my best to stay out of it.A counsolation is required from my cousin for some information and I shall tell her all the objective opinion about this person as he or she is of great importance to her or him,therefore I hope they could live happily ever after. It is not a disgrace just because I was replaced by my cousin,but to prove that she or he is more suitable to be the special one. I don't think I will intervene with their relationship and meanwhile I will give my best wishes to them.God bless you too!
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
18 Feb 10
I will give my opinion and tell him or her exactly how i feel, but at the end of the day it will only be their choice to make. We cannot live their lives for them.
@basqui (3888)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
the first one that i will confront is my ex partner. I'll talk to her and ask if she is really serious with her relationship with my relative. If he pleads to not do the things she did to me in the past then okay, but if she still do it then she's in the hell of a big fight...
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
I'd like to share with you a story similar to this. It happened to my professor but instead of a brother/sister, his COUSIN had an affair with his ex.. even when they were still together back then! He told us the story when we're discussing the different stages of grief. At first, he got mad and tried to intervene but he couldn't do anything about it. He loved his girl so much that he set her free because the girl told him that her love for him vanished. His ex and cousin got married after the break up. Everyone is invited (even his family) except for him but no one attended the wedding because the girl cheated on our professor and they believe that he's a good man and doesn't deserve that kind of treatment. The sad part is.. our professor showed us the wedding ring he is supposed to give to the girl.. and he's been wearing it since the day of the girl's wedding.. :( I got teary eyed after hearing his story. If this happens to me, i'll just remind my sister to think about the whole situation because he might hurt you the same way he hurt me before. If you got hurt then don't come running to me because i'll just say i told you so :P If everything works well then congratulations. He found something in you that he didn't find something in me when we were together.
@kyvin147 (78)
18 Feb 10
For me I will not be mad at him coz his my brother and he didn't do anything wrong its just that he fall in love with my ex.girl friend.
@Boyetski (986)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
Well it depends. If my relationship is broken because of my brother because he had an affair with my gf I would definitely be MAD. In the other hand if my relationship ended before they had an affair, maybe I can take it as long as I don't see them that much if it still hurts. The diffrence is the way we broke up. It depends on the reason.
@eubilisa (211)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
I would just warn my sister/brother so that she/he will be aware of what that person did to me in the past but I also tell him/her that I'm not saying those things because I'm bitter it's just that I want him/her to be careful.