SECRETS of a Long-term Relationship

By dee
@yresh12 (3217)
Philippines
February 18, 2010 6:20am CST
I Just wan't to share with you ways on how to keep your relationship together. I hope you could also add some, to help our fellow myLotters! thank you.. COMMUNICATION This is a very good way to make the relationship last. Avoiding confrontation, this is a good way to do so. If you have some things that you don't like you talk it out so that the two of you know could think of a solution to the problem. Don't wait for something tragic or drastic to come before you speak out.. YOU ALSO HAVE NEEDS When we get involve to a longterm relationship, we put ourselves second behind our partner's needs and desires. When deciding on something you should also think is this what you want, do you agree with this? Don't put your faith in your partners arms. He/She must also know that you also want some other things to. TRUST and HONESTY This is very important in every relationship. You depend on each other most, this traits are very important. LEARN TO COMPROMISE You should learn to give. It's not just your concerns, you should also be learn to be sensitive of your partners wants. Your investment is not just "love," it won't work if you think about it that way. * I can't think of anything else.. Nosebleed.. So much for thinking what to psot..hahaha
3 people like this
21 responses
• India
18 Feb 10
Hello!! You have started a good discussion and I would like to thank you starting such a nice discussion. You have mentioned important points to make good relations and I would also like to add a few to them. MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING: Any relation is not possible without mutual understanding it is not just about compromise but it means much more than that. That how you understand your partner and how you can make them feel comfortable in various conditions. LOVE: If you have true love with your partner and you can never have any kind of problems ever and lovers can cross any barriers which comes through their way with happiness and not losing their confidence in each other. GIVE RESPECT GET LOVE: One should not think that his or her partner is younger than him or her so they should not respect. It is wrong point of view. They should respect each others feelings and thinking and if you respect the younger you will get their precious love in return.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
I started this discussion to make couples aware of what there missing or what they should concentrate more. Thank you so much for putting additional information in the discussion. This would surely help our fellow myLotters.
• India
21 Feb 10
Dear friend I will be really be very happy if my suggested ways can help someone in real life. How are you? No thanks... just accept my response just as a friend as I am also a human being who want to make a happy life as everyone want nothing else and I know well how I can do so. You have also added good points and those will be also helpful others as well..Thanks dear friend for starting such a nice discussion... I am really thankful to you for it and thankful to myLot who provided us such a nice portal where we can discuss anything we want and can make our life better as well as we can help others a better life.... no doubt it is a revolution in itself.... and I am happy being part of this revolution.... have a nice time friend....
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
i specifically like the part "YOU ALSO HAVE NEEDS" it is true. whenever we get involve in a long term relationship we tend to put ourselves last. the other should always come first. what can i say, i guess that's how things really work. or else we end up lonely because of our selfishness.
2 people like this
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
It's not selfish, its not bad to look out for yourself once in a while. Am not saying to do this every time. It's just that you also need to cater for your need sometimes, for you to still know who and what you want.
@cbjones (1156)
• United States
19 Feb 10
Cold showers every once and a while doesn't hurt either Having a hobby to preoccupy your time when away from your better half will make the time pass by sooner. There are a ton of different ways to also woman/man proof your person to ensure that you won't ruin a good thing by being unfaithful. Guys, have your lady buy your clothing to were while she's out of town. She's guaranteed to brand you with a less than flattering wardrobe that screams "hey look, the circus is in town! Who wants cotton candy?" Ladies, print out a picture of a mean looking body builder, and put it in your purse. When someone tries to hit on you, pull it out and watch every dude within staring distance scatter like a bunch of roaches.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
Hehe, that is very inspiring..thank you for posting and you have a good one.
@Gany15k (1674)
• India
18 Feb 10
It's all fate friend.Here I saw many of them are maintaining good relation.Really happy about that.Even though love is there it is really hard to maintain.In my case I failed.I don't the reason.So it's all fate.
1 person likes this
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
Yup, I think that is also one of the factors in making it to the top..
• United States
18 Feb 10
For me the list above is true, but In my relationship I found prayer works as well . I know everyone is not religious and don't believe in a higher being but I know it works for me
1 person likes this
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
That is a very nice tip, I agree with you. I did not put it there to respect the religion of our fellow mylotters. As for me, it is also very important. Thank you for responding!
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
18 Feb 10
Where is love in any relationship, this relationship will hold, if love don t exist any relation exist.is simple. When 2 persons love each other, exist all; respect, understanding, trust, faith, everything; so just LOVE, all will come after they love.
1 person likes this
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
Love,love, love! We all need this and we need to spread it to everyone to.
@cher913 (25870)
• Canada
18 Feb 10
you have it pretty well covered i think. as a somewhat veteren of the marriage thing (22 years) i think love and marriage requires a lot of work and commitment to that work.
1 person likes this
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
Wow congratulations, that you made your marriage work for 22 years. Commitment is also a very crucial role in making a very harmonious home.
• United States
18 Feb 10
Hello, You forgot FRIENDSHIP, without it, you have no relationship. You have to be friends before you can be lovers. Somethings may start to fade alittle in a long term relationship, But, what keeps your love strong and longivity is friendship. RESPECT, you have to respect each other to love one another. And with respect comes trust and honesty. I leave some for someone else. There's much more.....
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
Thank you so much for the additional tip, ms Trucker girl. Yeah friendship plays an important role in making the relationship alive and kicking.
@junrapmian (2170)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
Well, I guess, you said it all right. But you forgot the word LOVE ... to have a lasting relationship you must love the person you want to be with. Sometimes, we only get into a relationship because he or she can finance all our needs and wants materially. For me, if both of you love each other so much, you can overcome any challenges in your lives.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
Thanks for reminding us about that. You wouldn't have had a longer relationship if you don't have strong feelings and compassion for your partner.
@tarapot (144)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
For those who don't believe in long time relationship, I suggest you believe. My husband and I been there, and the result, we still ended up together and happy. You just really need trust and communication just like what you said.
1 person likes this
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
That's really nice to hear that you and your husband are going very well. I hope that you would remain happy all the time. Best wishes and goodluck!
@mrrome (74)
• Philippines
18 Feb 10
RESPECT This is where love begins and will keep each and everyday of our life worth cheerful, loving and remembering. Respect our partners' decision, his or her dreams, even though sometimes or most of the time unrealistic. Respect specially in the most difficult time of your life, though he/she thought that even you cannot understand the situation... be there to respectfully understand, but after all of these ordeal don't forget that you need to respect yourself too in order to stay everything in balance and never to loose your very own self respect. Here is where you pickup your self that each one of us mean something to everyone.
1 person likes this
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
Thank you so much for the additional tip! I really agree with you. Self-respect and respect for your partner is also a very important element in making things work between the two of you..
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
long-term relationships last because of what you mentioned, which could be summed in a few words -- it's not what you can get that matters, it's what you can give to a relationship that is important. so that entails, talking together, as you said, so problems can be addressed before they become too big to be discussed, a give and take discussion; needs should also be considered and given due attention, and that's what i am saying about giving; trust is the first thing that one should give because trust begets trust, nothing else; without honesty, there is no trust; and compromise sums up what i said about giving and getting...
1 person likes this
@scaflone8 (191)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
My secret would be is to believe and no to doubt my lover. Because once you doubt the person you love, those doubts you were thinking might come realities like is he cheating, does he really love me, will this relationship last. Those things must be removed from your mind and believe that you'll love will last. Because when you believe in something from deepest bottom of you heart and mind it will happen. My other secret would be is to love and care for my lover, give him enough love that would not make him doubt you also. Honesty is always the best policy he he. No secrets must be kept.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
Yeah, i agree with you I have also experienced that. The more you doubt your lover the more he/she will commit mistakes. I believe that we should also give them a chance to do what they want, with limitations of course.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
Thank you so much for that opinion. I really do appreciate it. This would surely help our fellow myLotters.
@brymel25 (286)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
I think that the biggest secret to a lasting relationship is good communication. When there is good communication between lovers, there will also be respect for each other. One can be aware of each other's needs as well.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
yeah that's really nice. I think that through communication we would be able to get to know our partners and sort out our other problems.
@minnie15 (145)
• United States
19 Feb 10
Communication, love, trust and support are what I think are the key ingredients. I have been with my spouse for 13 years and if we didn't have those, it would have never worked.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
That's really nice to hear that you have been together for so long. This post will judge how these things are very important in a relationship.
• India
19 Feb 10
For me its Trust and Honesty. No one should allow himself or herself to ignore these two things. I believe that every thing falls under these two only. Again mutual understanding is a must for a long term relationship. trust your partner same as you trust yourself. Trust is like giving control of your life to someone who known in and out of you and can harm you completely but still he does only good for you. Be positive spread happiness :)
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
Thank you so much for that positive response. I really do agree about honesty and trust these are one of the categories to make the relationship longer. Taking chances and risks of hurting your partner for your honesty is a very big challenge ina relationship.
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
i agree on your list of secrets, specially "YOU ALSO HAVE NEEDS" and "LEARN TO COMPROMISE". its really important to make a relationship work. we should think for our partners first before ours but wont forget our self too.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
It is very important no to lose yourself in a relationship. If ever the time comes that i might not work. You would be able to pick up the pace and still be proud that you survived and have known yourself even more.
@kaylayoe (295)
• United States
18 Feb 10
I agree with everyones! Communication is the big one in my opinion. If me and my boyfriend didn't talk I don't know how we would survive! We've been dating for nearly 3 years and I couldn't be happier. Happiness is important! If your not happy then your relationship isn't going to survive. Laughter is important too!
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
That's a very positive attitude ms. Kaye. Yup, having fun is important as well. Without this no play makes the relationship boring... congratulations to you and your boyfriend for making it this far.
• India
21 Feb 10
Hi yresh, first i dont understand ur discussion. But the all things are very important to maintain a good relationship with partners.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
20 Feb 10
Communication and Respect are two big ones for me..... If you have them there is no cheating or hitting by either party in the relationship...... Them are two things that went wrong in my first relationship were both..... I haven't got either one of these problems with my current husband; we took a vow that these two areas were expected out of both of us to reform too.....