Parents interfere in marriage?
By kevchua
@kevchua (1004)
Malaysia
February 18, 2010 9:20am CST
My wife decided to dump me after 3 years. Our marriage could've been saved (though chances were slim) but all chances were lost when her parents put a stop to all forms of communication with me 2-3 weeks ago. When I called my wife, she wouldn't pick up the phone. Yes, we're still legally married until the court hearing next month. Her parents were determined to ensure I don't ever get near their daughter anymore. Her parents even made arrangements with a lawyer before she wanted a divorce. I guess they anticipated it would happen any time. I believe this act of forcing my wife to keep quiet is violating her basic right to speak to her husband.
My question is: How much could a parent interfere with/in a marriage?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@mslena75 (561)
• United States
25 Feb 10
There is no 'right' to speak with your spouse. Truthfully your wife sounds very immature. If she is going to drag her parents into every little thing, she had no business getting married. Good marriages are hard enough work without outside interference. I can't help but wonder if her parents were against you from the start and have been spoon feeding with God know what the whole time. I'm sure you are hurting, but I bet down the line you will be glad you will only have wasted 3 years. If she is that easily persuaded, thank your lucky stars she dumped you. I hope no children involved.
2 people like this
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 10
Hi mslena. Yes, you're absolutely right about the immature part. I believe she has been reporting almost every single bad deed of mine in the past to her parents because when they informed my parents about the divorce, trivial matters cropped up - which caught my parents by surprise. No children involve - thank God.
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@bananamen1 (442)
• Bulgaria
18 Feb 10
And are you sure your wife didn't ask them to act like that? May be she just don't want to contact you
And for the question - parents don't have to be involved in such decisions. They can support their kid in the decision that he/she made, but the decision should be taken by from their son/daughter.
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@zoey7879 (3092)
• United States
18 Feb 10
Pretty much took the words right out of my mouth.
If her parents were not asked by her to reject your attempts at communicating, you need to ask yourself if you would truly want to continue a relationship with a grown woman who would allow her parents to interfere into her personal fairs on such an extreme level? No offense intended, but I'm fairly certain that if she still wanted to communicate with you, that she would.
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@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
18 Feb 10
I don't think parents should interfere at all in their children's marriage unless of course the daughter is being abused. Then they and anyone should be there to interfere and keep her safe. Otherwise the marriage is really no one elses business.
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@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 10
Hi lelin, you know what? People whom my parents and I have talked to said the same thing. I believe that once married, it's all up to both husband and wife to keep their marriage intact unless there's abuse or something so severe as to warrant a direct interference. "Marriage is really no one else's business" - how true. I wish my wife had known that.
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@junrapmian (2169)
• Philippines
19 Feb 10
I don't know what happened to your relationship, but I guess, it is the parents' right to interfere if the safety and happiness of their daughter is at stake. What do think you have done for the parents to feel that way? You said that the chance of saving your marriage is very slim. Maybe, your in-laws have had enough, and communicating with your wife might affect the divorce case. And why do you want to talk with your wife? Do you want to win her back? It could be late for now, you should have amend your relationship with her in the early years.
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@mslena75 (561)
• United States
25 Feb 10
Judgemental much? I find it interesting that you automatically jump on the parents' side. Quite frankly, the parents have no business intruding in this marriage. Last time I checked, marriage is between TWO people (at least in the USA), NOT 4. You are making a lot of big assumptions with absolutely no information.
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