Does anyone else notice this?

I notice that it happens in cycles. Some months are quiet and then it starts up again. All I do is participate in the discussions concerned if I can add something useful and I report any obnoxious and flaming responses or comments. Admin sees what goes on too and I guess that the quality of discussions will not go down becuase anything that is not within the rules is removed. MyLot is a playground and therefore there will always be kids who come along to play unfairly

Hi dorannmwin - It takes all kinds to make a world! Having said that, if you have only positive conversations going on anywhere, you may term it as being superfluous. Hence, I think a little bit of negativity brings more color, though at the same time, I am not advocating negativity as a virtue. Imagine a daily newspaper with only good news written in all the pages. Will you read it? Sure you may read it a for a few days, but then you will get bored and will want to know what lies on the other side - because that's what makes up the news, correct! Similarly, if you have a social site, you need to know what is going on in people's minds. Like our friend said above, there are always some children in a playground who will get into a quarrel. As far as bringing down the quality of the discussions is concerned - well, the admin has the power to strike off a discussion at will doesn't he/she? One of the main functions of the admin, in my opinion, is to keep a balance within the discussions going on in any interest. Btw, if MyLot needs admin help in regulating discussions please count me in ;-).

It's all YOUR fault... Well seriously, I did notice some discussions like that over the weekend, and I just went and visited other discussion. If I'd seen anything really nasty and abusive I would have reported it though. It's so easy to get nasty online since it's anonymous...

I notice this, then avidly avoid participating in such conversations. But that is the way I am, how can we all be happy. If everyone just accepted the negative ratings, and didn't try to force their opinions on others, then, berate and negativate them for not agreeing.(like my use of neologism?) It is human nature, sadly, but if you ask what is right about what so and so said or did, what makes that right? Things will be better. Take the time to think of how you feel, and what values of yours weren't honored when you get up set, and what needs to be communicated. Especially, what values, when ever you get upset, it is from a dishonored value. Think about it. Cheers, I appreciate you.

Maybe some people are letting out their grouchy sides over the weekend - too much stress during the week perhaps?! Some people seem to feel better about themselves by belittling others - I don't get why they have to do it here on myLot. We all have our grouchy moments, but no need to take it out on fellow myLotters. We are supposed to be here to discuss - not to pick a fight. It would bring the quality of discussions down . . . I have seen this happen at Yahoo Answers and that's part of the the reason I'm not going there anymore.

Hello Dora! I havent been here very long and Im here to socialize (sorta) and learn. Its great to have a place to come to and ask the mylot community if you need help or try to help others also. Ive noticed one thing over the years. Im no spring chicken to begin with and Ive worked at many places and Ive been in business also. Ive noticed that people feel safe when you have strict rules. Not the majority but a % of the population need to feel they're bounded by rules and regulations. They're also the first ones to complain about the said rules. I was a boss before and I had guidelines about how I wanted the biz to run. I left my employees do as they wanted as long as the results were there. One of the employee kept commenting on how others were doing their work. I was tempted to reprimand the others but then I thought better and started to watch that employee instead and I noticed that everything she was complaining about others doing.....she was doing it herself!!!! Those people are manipulators. I fired that employee and then we all worked in peace and harmony. I read a book a while back (sorry forgot the tittle) it was written by some association about people who were unfairly picked on in the work place. They explained how these people tried to stir some trouble, they gave examples and explained what could be done, how to prove what type of manipulation it was these people were using to make trouble. Ive worked with people like this and I always quit. I dont like arguments or fights. I cant stand injustice. Ive noticed those discussions and I can tell you for sure that its a form of manipulation. Those people are only wanting the attention of the adm, wanting to prove that they're better than everyone else....its like children wanting the attention of the parents. As for myself, I feel the less rules, the better. I can regulate myself rather well and treat others as Id want to be treated!!

I recently returned to MyLot after a long break away and have noticed that little has changed in this regard. There have always been some very negative people here and I try to ignore it where possible. I love being here and enjoying discussions though, and try to remain as upbeat and postive as possible

I think the main thing to do is let it roll off. A lot of times ppl say things and it makes the person naturally defensive. The goal is not to get pulled into a verbal war. Let it go. It's one persons opinion. Also keep in mind that for the most part, no one here knows the other person sitting behind their computer. Take me for example. No one knows what makes me hurt, what makes me happy, how certain things can send me into a depression...I'm just another person behind a screen. Those ppl that really know me both online and offline...their the ppl who's opinions are most valuable simply b/c they know the whole me...not just the online me. I get along really well with most ppl here and I value their insight and thoughts but I take it all with a grain of salt. Sometimes the best thing to do is just let it go and move on with your day. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

Maybe I have been lucky and havent experienced this. However I have heard others say the same thing. Maybe I am not paying attention. Come on MyLotters we are all adults here. Yes we should be able to express our opinions, good or bad, without being attacked. We shouldnt attack either. One good turn deserves another but that shouldnt be considered when accusations are flying. I will tell you this Dorann, it happens when we get a rush of newcomers. I think that some of us joined this site prepared for the worst. It takes a few but we all relax and realize that we actually have the best of people here. I used to thing its the youngsters but I must recant this. Its people who have nothing better to do than to antagonize others. If you do experience this, report it. Dont let anyone bully you. We all should treat other discussions the same way we want ours viewed. Happy MyLotting dl

hi dorannmwin I saw one yesterday that really teed me off because this newbie claimed allthe people who have been here longer have larger numbers of friends and have the advantage of higher ratings because this young lady said they only rate their friends really high and thus others dont get rated as high.She went on to state that all our older users discussions were really stupid and boring. I did respond to say that I never just rated my friends or just responded to my friends ,I responded wherever I found something interesting. also I told her that we had no more advantage of getting highter ratings than others because mylot admins rules that no one person can rate anyone person more than 11 times in one day.I admit I was angry but my response was not flaming or insulting at all. I have seen a lot of negative discussions claiming the people whose discussions are put in top discussions dont deserve it , blah blah blah, and those whose discussions get in the digest dont deserve being there either. these discussions make me really upset as I and a lot of others here do strive to make the best quality discussions that we can do. What the heck more does anyone want? I mean we are all just ordinary people with jobs and mortgages and what not, we are not top featured best seller writers. Yes I have seen too many depressing negative discussions and it makes me want to scream, if you are so much superior to the rest of us show us your best quality discussions please.

I do notice that every now and then but for the most part I stick to my friend's discussions and the light & fluffy ones, I steer clear of the more controversial topics and of any discussions that clearly aren't looking for an opposing opinion. I find that's where the most negativity and flaming is found - in the discussions that people only start to hear the echoing of their sentiments. If something seems ridiculously one sided I stay away. I'm not here to get drawn into a bunch of BS or to get all worked up over nothing, and I'm not going to pick apart people's words. I just like to pass the time with the laid back stuff.

Hi Dorann, Nice observation about the weekend escapades here. i am one of those who tried to appreciate lift other mylot spirits for receiving negative comments and such is reflected on their star rating. i know some of them really worked hard here and tried their best to make a healthy and quality discussions...but due to differences and views, background, culture and language things happened and created lots of emotions around here. what's good in there was--there are friends around willing to give a hug, a positive stroke to calm down and appease one's bad feelings. we have friends here. i know i have lots of them and you are one of them Dorann!

As far as I am concerned, I seldom met this situation. When the time I met this situation, I usually ignore it do as usul. I think this action will not influence on my emotion. I can keep a good eotion as the time before.

yes this a right to according to my view, every one might have notice that his friend started a new topic and he is replying so relation between both friend is going very fast.

i haven't notice it yet recently... but may be it is because i am not that active here anymore... in the past, yes it happened quite a lot and we got trolls that try to downgrade people and rate people negative here for no apparent reason... it is so sad because so many nice and good people left this place because they are being bullied by these trolls... i hope that this won't be happening again... take care and have a nice day...

I spend a lot of time on the political threads and it's always like that there. I guess it's to be expected. That's why they say to steer clear of politics and religion. But it's sort of funny in a way because we are all decrying the fact that congress can't get it together while we pick each other apart.

dorannmwin, So, what is wrong with those who were nitpicking back there? Bad week or a bad night out? Or, PMS? Jokes aside, but I was wondering if myLot's earning money playing games could have come in more timely. I suppose we will need to direct them there when they really feel like bursting out or or better if they can realize and find themselves there. Anyway, I hope that we will be having less of these unpleasantries and make this a better place.

I haven't noticed this recently but I do remember it happening to me when I first joined mylot.....It was my first day and one person came to my discussion and was completly off topic and being very rude.....Then after others came to my defense this individual flogged all my discussions at the time....There are rights to our own opinions yes but to be plain right out hurtful and start wars is not right....

myself, i havent noticed any extra lot. maybe its just the kind i go to? i dont know. i have no idea how to change it. maybe just pray about it? i know thats my answer for most everything. sorry.lets hope it stops.

I have noticed that as well. I am on here late Friday/early Saturday morning because my husband works early Saturday and I need to stay up late at night to make sure that he gets up on time. I am never on Sunday because that is the only day of the week my husband is off from work. Late Saturday night my husband and I go grocery shopping. I have noticed that there has been a lot of accusations.