What do you think of when your partner doesn't answer your call?

February 22, 2010 9:28am CST
Ring... Ring... Ring... *The phone number you dialed is either unattended or out of coverage area* This is the phone response i never want to hear from my partner's line... This is because I tend to think of bad thoughts whenever I hear one.I might be crazy but it's a fact and i believe I'm not the only one who feels this way. I don't know if it's because I don't trust my partner or I don't loving that much. Is it by nature that we get jealous when our partners don't answer or I just crave for attention that's all. Of course I feel guilty sometimes because it's like I'm being unfair to my partner but I just cant help it...
1 person likes this
21 responses
22 Feb 10
Are you male or female? If you are a female you should let your partner call you. Men don't like to be chased, they like to chase you- even once the relationship is established!
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29163)
• United States
22 Feb 10
Hi, renaissance2010. In a way you are right. My husband calls me all of the time and I love him for doing that. It makes me know that he cares about me and our children. I like when he also calls me because so many bad things tend to happen every second. I want to stay informed about things.
22 Feb 10
But I'm the man... :)
@itwirl (44)
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
hi akijoaru, does this happens all the time? If its once or twice, i guess there's nothing to be worried about, right? Maybe your partner is having their meals, in the bathroom or watsoever. Don't fill ur mind with negative thoughts though unless he totally ignores u for days. He might even be having some probs so he needs some time alone. We could get jealous but not unnecessarily i guess. If by him talking through with you why he didn't answer the call, than ask him when both of u are free to talk about it, better would be face to face. Don't question him when he's busy.
@itwirl (44)
• Singapore
22 Feb 10
ouh, ure a man.. heh. so yarh talk to her when you can.
22 Feb 10
Yah sure thing I guess I better do so... Thanks man!
@myzire72 (1157)
• Singapore
23 Feb 10
It most probably is due to my partner wasn't able to pick up the call at that moment of time. She will always return me a call or sms within a short time. We have never refuse to answer each other's call for any reason. Anyway, a cell phone is used to contact your partner, not to check on your partner. Mutual trust is needed here.
• Canada
2 Aug 10
Let me just give you a piece of advice, good or not but this is what I'd say you do: First, concur with your 'partner' for how long you will wait for her (I'm replying to the guy who posted the question, by the way) to answer, say, if you call and the call goes to VM then leave a message, I love you, I'm thinking of you or whatever. Never call more than once. That will just increase your anxiety. If you think that your partner is doing something you don't like (such as cheating) and think that but repeated calls you'll get her to answer, yes, she'll probably feel forced to answer but, honestly, she will NEVER tell you what she is doing, right? So you'll just end up having to believe in what she says anyway. So bottom line is, if someone turns off the phone, and the call was JUST to say I love you, I'm thinking of you and all that stuff, just let it be. Then try to get the reason why later. And you just have to trust her. I'm not saying that blidly believe what she is doing is right, but do you have any choice? Don't waste your energy on that, and if you do, then there's something wrong there. So, bottom line, if you call and there is no answer and it is NOT urgent, don't bother. Call again later. Now, if she doesn't respond your call in a reasonable time, then maybe she just don't want to hear from anyone (including you) and just turned it off. Don't fuzz about it or she'll cut you off. Women don't like nagging men. Cheers!
@Mike4me (567)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
There could be a lot of reasons why she/he can't answer your calls, you should also put that into consideration and thinking bad things about her/him is not a good sign. I mean, you have to learn to trust them. I used to be like that before and I just notice one day that I am like choking him, well not that he's complaining about it, I just learned how to trust him and think about his feelings even for sometimes. I know that I dont want him to do it to me, like as if he doesnt trust me at all. trust is always there, and SHOULD be always there. And if you simply can't control it for now, coz it takes time, just explain it to your partner why you are like that, it helps them understand how you feel. :)
23 Feb 10
Thanks you helped me a lot.
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
Hi akijoaru, There were times in the past when my bf is not picking up his phone when I call, and I immediately jump into conclusions thinking he may be doing something I won't like. So I confronted him about it, and we had a serious talk regarding my trust issues. It turned out he's busy with work and couldn't even get his phone out of his pocket. I felt silly for being paranoid. It's not healthy always thinking that you're partner is cheating on you. You have to trust him. Maybe he has a good explanation or reason why he didn't answer your calls. Always think of possibilities that can happen. You need to think on a broader spectrum, and careful not to jump into conclusions you're not sure of. But if it really bothers you and it kept happening from time to time, you should talk to your partner regarding that issue and work it out. hope this helps! Happy Mylotting!
23 Feb 10
Thanks sis. I'll keep that in mind... :-)
• Philippines
23 Feb 10
Oh dear i tell you, he is in big trouble and he better explain it very well or he is terminated for good haha Come on..out of coverage area??! He turned it off! Well it can happen sometimes, we cant avoid it, having technical problems. But when it happens always, oh dear his cellphone has bad habits and needs to be replaced. (^_^)
23 Feb 10
so do you think I should replace my partner's phone or just my partner? LOL.
@lingli_78 (12836)
• Australia
23 Feb 10
well, to be honest with you, i will feel similar like you... i will start to wonder what happen to my hubby and what is he doing... i won't ever suspect him to cheat on me because i am 100% sure that he won't do that and he only loves me... i'm more worried about something bad happened to him whenever he doesn't pick up my call... take care and have a nice day...
23 Feb 10
Thanks... Likewise dear.
@monkeylong (3146)
• Guangzhou, China
23 Feb 10
Yeah, as far as I am concerned, I think I have the same feeling just like what you have. I sometimes get angry with my girl friend ,who will not answer my call and just refused the call from me. At that time, I did not understand what my girl friend meant. I just call again and again. BUt no answer at all. I do not like the feeling that my girl friend who does not answer my call.
23 Feb 10
Yah me too bro... Thanks anyway...
@Cheiyen (317)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
hello and welcome, akijoaru! i think it's not only you who don't like those but many. however there are many factors involved when such things happen. nevertheless it happens most of or all the time. luckily, i'm not the type who usually freaks out or come up with weird assumptions why my boyfriend isn't picking up the phone. that must be the case because i trust him and i have an idea of the good time to call him. but when things like this happen, i just try to redial no more than twice and able to get a return call. i don't get angry at once because his phone is set to silent or very low volume. it's just his style because he doesn't wanna bother other people. i don't think negatively, that's all. as long as you know the good time to call, there isn't any reason why you need to end up with assumptions or reasons why your partner isn't picking up your call. you don't own his time and all the more, your partner needs some time for himself/herself. feeling crazy or freaking out is simply a way of punishing yourself because there's a reason for every unanswered call. i think it's unfair to react impulsively because this can ruin the relationship and stir up any previous issues. i suppose that phones or mobile phones help in building stronger relationships and good communication. why should you crave for attention if you love yourself enough? Craving for attention is a clear sign of lack of self-esteem. this is a flaw that can be a turn off to your partner. after all, you're not a parent who checks on your kid nor an investigator who needs to interrogate the detail of your subject's whereabouts. if there is enough love, phones and other forms of technology can keep on building relationships and make them stronger. being self-centered doesn't built realationships. the next time your partner doesn't take your call. hang on. think twice. listen. wait. don't take it against you. it might be just a wrong timing. remember that staying positive is a plus but whining or being doubtful or jealous isn't. enjoy your stay at mylot!
22 Feb 10
I guess you are right maybe I should not be thinking about it that mush. Thanks!
@Genericbe (1378)
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
Your feeling of guilt is normal to any couple has. Whenever a phone rings and unanswered by your partner. It means there is absolutely a reason for him to justify things but the mere important about the situation is you are bothered. Whatever is in your mind at that point in time is causing you worry. Sometimes, there are things that we have to adjust or adopt in every situation. As long your partner do secure you with all the love he can give for you as assurance then I guess, you have to be making a mature approach of telling him what will make you feel bothered or worrying. If for that time he was able to know your side, I think your partner will never forget your reminders for him and whatever he will do that may intend to hurt you intentional or not The guilt feeling will not be in you but in his inner conscience. There will always be a time to settle things out whenever there are some problems but the essentials of that are to be able to cope up and being able to face the trials together.
22 Feb 10
Thanks! I'm really learning a lot in here... I appreciate your comment. Thanks again!
@cream97 (29163)
• United States
22 Feb 10
Hi, akijoaru. Welcome to myLot!! You are not alone in this. I tend to get like this every now and then. I guess it just comes from being insecure and worried about your mate. I know that may have came out a bit harsh but don't take it the wrong way. My husband had to do some electrical work at this lady's house that he knows. And, he was gone for over 10 hours that day. He did not get off until the next day. I tried calling him and he did not answer his cell phone. I thought that he got tied up or maybe even hurt. I was just thinking bad thoughts that I could not control. I thought that someone ran him off the road and killed him. My mind was just racing. It was past 2 a.m. in the morning and I was waiting for his phone call. I thought that maybe he was at Walmart or something. But he was just at the woman's house. He told me that he was in her attic and that he left his bluetooth device in the car.. When he did not call, I started to worry because he always calls me to tell me how long he will be working and how long it will take him to get back home. When my husband is out at night and past the early mornings, I get scared. It is so much of bad things that tend to happen in this world until it isn't funny. He called me that same day. And he told me that he would be on his way home in a couple of more hours, but he still did not show up... That is when I started to panic. I kept looking out the window... And I wanted to take me a shower, but he was not back at home yet. I wanted to latch the top bolt on my front door. If I was to lock it, he would not be able to get in when he comes home. That is why I was calling him. I know how you feel. I get like that too. Sometimes, my mind will wander and think that he is messing around on me. But, I know that it is just the devil that is playing tricks on my mind. So, just stay at ease and don't let your mind wander.
22 Feb 10
Thanks Cream97... I really appreciate that you feel for me... Now I can stop thinking about thing I shouldn't be worried about... Thanks again!
@jesssp (2739)
• Canada
23 Feb 10
My husband is busy and he quite often works out of area so I really don't think much of it at all. But if it's getting late and I haven't heard from him all day I do start to get a little worried. I hate not knowing where he is sometimes - he could be at the shop or he could be upside down in a ditch somewhere. I never worry about it out of a lack of trust or jealousy but I do worry that something could be wrong occasionally.
@illfavors (592)
• United States
23 Feb 10
I never have bad thoughts when my partner doesn't answer. I guess because he usually calls right back if he has missed it. Most of the time if he doesn't answer, which is rare, it's because he is in a meeting or he is busy with one of his co-workers. I never worry because I will always hear right back from him.
• Indonesia
23 Feb 10
Maybe he still angry with me or something make him busy when I call him
@siliguri (4232)
• India
23 Feb 10
When your partner doesn't give the answer of your call you generally point out the two reasons behind this first he might be busy or he might be ignoring you... Don't go in any of this conclusion before making inquiry of it...
@ltruong (128)
• Australia
23 Feb 10
Well at first I just think maybe that their phone is somewhere else but after a while of them not picking up their phone I get very anxious and upset about the whole situation. When I call someone it's because I want to spend time to chat to them about my day and share my thoughts and feelings. If my partner doesn't feel the same way that hurts me alot and I can't help but think the very worst thoughts available.
• United States
23 Feb 10
One thing I can say I love about tim is he answers my calls on the first ring. I tell him this every time I call him. If when I call he can't answer it on the first ring he will be calling right back. He will be delivering furniture or putting down carpet on someones floor. He will call me if he is at his mother house etc. Now when the phone rings and he can't pick up. In my mind he is already guilty of sleeping with someone. I already will have said to myself he is with a bitc*. My mind gets really crazy. The otehr day he had to tell me again to stop being so jelalous because he is not giving me any reason to be. And he is absolutely right. We have it bad. LOL
@anc457 (186)
• Thailand
22 Feb 10
maybe your just so into your partner now, how about giving time for your partner to breathe maybe he's just so busy at the time you're calling, or maybe your partners phone is gone missing or stolen hmmmm. i suggest you buy your partner a phone then LOL - kidding aside, send your partner a message then when you'll meet up again ask what happened? all of us i guess feels thesame thing, if our dearest never answers our calls, there must be something wrong, that's one way to show that we care i guess again. or maybe we're jealous or just worried.
@figjam00 (1450)
• India
22 Feb 10
hello mylotters when my partner doesn't pick the call i feel very uneasy and starts feling bad things or thoughts i feel so possesive when i call n it sounds that it's busy cuzi feel that he is talking to someone else.i do care about him a lot. i feel very bad when he don't pick my calls.
• Philippines
22 Feb 10
my boyfriend's phone is not ringing and i can only hear those lines. so i dont know if he change his number or not, im also thinking if he just turned off his mobile but its been a week that its no longer ringing. when i called him before its ringing but his not answering the phone so maybe he got tired with those miscalls thats why he change his number. the reason why i tried my best to reach him coz of our baby coz our baby needs him but i guess he doesnt want to take his responsibility now.