Are there any ways to teach my younger sister to be independent?

Philippines
February 24, 2010 11:52am CST
Hello everyone! i have a sister who is really dependent to our parents and to me in terms of decision making, financial and the rest. One thing i want right now is to find ways how to teach and show her to become independent in many ways. First thing that has crossed to my mind is to build her self confidence because i have noticed that is one reason of pulling her back and keep on relying and depend all the time for she lacks one of it. Are there any possibilities that she will grows and establish independently?
2 responses
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
Building up her confidence is a good start. I also have a sister who greatly depends on us until she was in high school. The only thing different I guess, in our situation is that in the process we build her self confidence. Having a self confidence will enable her to decide on her own and to be independent. That's actually the first step. Next question is how do you build it? In my case, when it comes to decision making, I had always told my sister that she should have a criteria before deciding on things. First, will making that decision make you happy? Second, will you make your family happy or proud? And lastly, will it not be against your values as a person? If these are answered by a yes, possibly she is in the right track. And before I forgot, the most important thing to think about before making such decision is to check on the pros and cons of what you'll be doing. We as her family, don't decide for her. We give hints and insights so to help her realize on what she needs to choose. And when she started to make decisions and it turns out her decisions are right, there's your self confidence. By the way, how old is your sister? If she's younger than sixteen, I guess don't push it too hard to let her be independent although you can start by just building up her confidence. Enjoy it while your sister is still your family's baby. When she grows older, she'd be able to make it on her own. My sister had already grown to be a fine lady. Though she asked for advise on stuff, I can say she's independent, more independent than what we thought she'd become.
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
Thanks for your advices,actually she is already old enough but still i will consider her as dependent person up to now at the age of 30 she is still growing to become such one. She is just an indoor type of person, she prefer to be alone and stayed in the room all the time, that's why sometimes she experienced something like paranormal things. I tried to bragged her out just to try and experience that the world outside is full of treasures and learnings.
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I think, you gotta encourage her to build confidence like doing outdoor activities, involve her in activities which creates bonding and social relationships. Push her up to develop her own independent. It is a somewhat kind of long process before he can do it, but it all depends on how reactive she is. But continue on pursuing i know she can do it soon.