What would you do if your family would not attend your wedding?

By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4696)
United States
February 24, 2010 10:15pm CST
I got married in July 2009. It's a LONG story for another discussion (LOL), but basically my parents were against the marriage so they didn't attend my wedding. It was sad, but I knew getting married to my now husband was the right thing to do so we went ahead and had the wedding anyway. What would you do in this situation? Would you still get married if you knew your family wouldn't be there?
2 people like this
9 responses
@Polly1 (12646)
• United States
25 Feb 10
I am so sorry your parents weren't there. Shame on them.....You two have been together for a long time. You both are just going to have to show them that what you have is real and its going to last. My mom never liked my husband neither, our marriage lasted, we showed her. I didn't want to take the chance that my mom wouldn't be there so we went out of town with just our kids and my hubby's best friend. We had a preacher friend marry us. Take care and be happy.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
25 Aug 11
I'm glad everything worked out for you, Polly. It certainly did for us as well even though my parents weren't there to see us married. I know deep down in their hearts, they regret it. Even if someday I can't stand what's going on with my kids before my very eyes, I would never choose not to be a part of something so important because I know I'd regret it the rest of my life. I know especially my mom probably wonders and wonders what our wedding was like now, wishing she'd been there...but you can't get those moments back! It was so funny because the other day she was asking for a wedding picture for one of their frames, but our photographers (friends of the family) still haven't gotten those to us! That's another story, though...
1 person likes this
@hellcowboy (7378)
• United States
27 Mar 10
Congrats on getting married and me and my wife also got married in 2009 except we got married in September,and I am sorry your parents did not attend the wedding,atnd that is kind of petty if you ask me,and if my parents had not wanted to attend the wedding of me and my wife I would have been mad and hurt,especially since my father was my best man,and my mother helped us plan the wedding,and I would have told them if they could not attend the wedding,and like who I chose to marry then oh well they would not have to worry about having anything to do with me or my wife for a long time to come.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
28 Mar 10
Congrats to you as well! Obviously, I've been looking over some of my old discussions, which I hadn't yet chosen BR. Shame on me! Anyway, I was reading all of your responses in which you mentioned your fiance and then saw some more recent ones where you referred to your wife so I knew that you are now married! How exciting. How does it feel now that you've been married over six months? That is so wonderful. I'm so happy for you. I love being married and haven't regret any of our choices over the past three or so years. My parents are now completely in favor of our marriage. Although they didn't come right out and say they were sorry, their actions speak louder than their words. I can tell they're filled with regret. I haven't shown my dad, but my mom has seen wedding proofs of our pictures. Maybe someday we'll be able to talk about the whole wedding thing out in the open. (I have a younger sister who is now engaged as of last month and may be getting married within the next couple of years so maybe it'll come up then!) Anyway, I still believe my hubby and I made the right decision even if my parents weren't in favor of the choice to this day. I'm just eternally grateful they came around. It took my mom two weeks and my dad three months. It's almost been nine wonderful months that we've been married, and it sure has flown! It's great catching up with you again. I hope you and your wife are doing well too! Take care, HLC!
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 10
Lol yeah fiance to wife means married lol and I have no regrets whatsoever and I know my wife does not either,she has helped me accomplish things I never would have done on my own,and hopefully you will be able to talk about it openly one day since it sounds like they are coming around,I am glad to be cpatching up with you again as well my friend,and we are doing great,and I wish you and your husband years and years of happiness.
1 person likes this
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
I would be really really sad and devastated if my parents would not attend my wedding. That's what i think. I've read your last discussion jj and I hope you could work this out. :)
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
25 Feb 10
Believe it or not, although my parents weren't at the wedding they are so involved in our lives now. I'm glad everything worked out, but even if they were still upset I would've made the same decision because it would be the right thing to do. My parents would've done the same things for themselves! It's always best to do the right thing no matter what and stand up for what you believe in. Thank you so much for following up on all my discussions in all of these situations I've experienced. Your support and encouragement mean the world to me!
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
That's really sweet of you... Standing up for what you believe in without hurting others could be the right thing.
1 person likes this
@vince06 (98)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
in my opinion i would really pursue the wedding even if without my parents because i love the girl that im about to marry but i will not be totally happy because my wedding is incomplete bec. my parents is not present but before the wedding i will tell my parents that i love this girl so much and if you want to make me happy just support me and you know that this girl can make me happy..
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
1 Mar 10
Before my husband and I got married, we did the same thing just as you have said. They still decided not to come so there was definitely something missing at the wedding. I'm sure they regret the decision they made now, but I didn't want to have any regrets in the decision I made by doing the right thing. Thanks for your input!
@AmbiePam (58224)
• United States
27 Feb 10
I would still get married. It is hard for me to imagine my parents against any guy I would want to marry. They know I only date men with the same values as I have, so I would hope that would mean they would come to care for him as I would. But if they would not come, I would go ahead and get married. It would hurt my heart terribly, but I would proceed. I am sorry that your parents did not attend your wedding. Are they any more accepting of your marriage now?
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
1 Mar 10
Yes, thankfully my parents are fine with the marriage and everything now! It took my mom two weeks (once we got back from our honeymoon) to get into contact with us. She told us she wasn't ok with the marriage, but now that we're married she believes it is forever so she's all for it now. My dad took a little longer to come around - about three months, but regardless, we are all in communication now. I feel like family again and now my hubby does, too, which is wonderful. I'm so glad everything worked out in the end. I know it doesn't always for everyone, but I would make the same decision over again if I had to because doing the right thing and what you believe in leaves you with no regrets down the road and is better for everyone in the long run. Thanks so much for your response.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30208)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
i think my mom was in the same situation. my grandpa wouldn't walk with her in the aisle if she is going to marry my dad. but well the day before the wedding my grandpa did attend the wedding with a heavy heart - and finally accepted that my mom has gotten married already.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
1 Mar 10
I'm glad all turned out well for your mom's wedding. I'm sure her dad was glad down the road that he had attended her wedding and walked her down the aisle because I'm sure my parents regret not being at my wedding!
@Hidaisy (181)
• United States
25 Feb 10
At heart,I worship you my friend. You said it was the right thing to do so what to waiting for?You go girl!If I've confirmed it will be my happiness I will do that without hesitate.Anyway,it is you who get married with him not your mother.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
25 Feb 10
You are so right! If I know it's the right thing to do, why wait? You got that right! Thanks for your encouragement. (I'm sure my hubby is glad he married ME and not my mother - LOL!)
@myzire72 (1157)
• Singapore
25 Feb 10
I am sorry that your parents didn't attend your wedding. I am not sure for what reasons your parents were against your marriage. They could have some misunderstandings about your husband or something like that. Anyway, the marriage is between you and your husband. If you feel that you have done the right thing, good for you then. If I were in your shoes, I would probably go ahead with my marriage, and I will hold full responsibility for my decision. It has been more than half a year now since you got married. Hopefully by now, the smoke has cleared and your parents have given you their blessings.
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
25 Feb 10
You are exactly right - my parents have come around. I know they probably regret not being at their daughter's wedding, but I took the time to have a good photographer and videographer so that someday they will be able to see what it was like. That time hasn't come yet, but I know it will some day.
@p3ks626 (6547)
• Philippines
25 Feb 10
That's a sad story and I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway, it happened almost a year ago already and we can always forgive. Both my husband's parents and family and my family were there in our wedding and I consider myself lucky. I just hope that you are getting along well with your parents now. You felt it was right for you to marry our husband and that's reason enough. I know someday they will be able to understand.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4696)
• United States
25 Feb 10
I'm happy to tell you that everything did work out with my parents and family even though they didn't attend my wedding. I know it is something they will regret, but for me, I'm glad I went through with what I knew was right.