is debut necessary for women?

@uniqueorn (1011)
Philippines
February 27, 2010 3:05am CST
i notice how much women value so much the day when they turn 18 when men on the other hand, they don't. what significant role does a debut celebration play in a woman's life? don't you think that the money spent should rather be for education and other things more important than celebrating a grand debut?
5 responses
@kd_fmay (555)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
Hello uniqueorn! A wise woman once told me that there are 2 special occasions for a girl... her Debut and her Marriage. It's up to us how we celebrate it. I did not forced my parents before to have a debut party because I know our financially status is not that quite good, that's my decision. I only had a dinner with them and some other relatives. Yes, it is necessary but it depends on how you celebrate it. Good day!
@uniqueorn (1011)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
I see. kd_fmay, I applaud for having been practical and celebrated your birthday according to your family status. The way you celebrate your birthday makes it more special. And I must agree that its not money that always plays a vital role in making your birthday memorable. But have you had no hopes of at least experiencing being welcomed by friends to womanhood, like debut?
@kd_fmay (555)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
Of course I do wish I had a debut party. Honestly we planned before hand, but it not materialized due to our financial crisis. It's okay if I didn't experience it, there's no big deal ever since. :-)
@uniqueorn (1011)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
I personally think too, there's no big deal really if your debut is grand or not. As long as you had maximized your experience of celebrating your birthday with friends and family even though they did not happen according to what is planned. After all, the debutante holds the key to make the most out of a simple celebration.
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
Hi uniquecorn, Well, I had my debut party when I turned 18. It was one of my best birthdays ever. I think most ladies and their parents would throw a debut because it's a celebration, that a teen will be entering "adulthood". It's sort of a rite of passage signifying that you're not a child anymore, and you are responsible for a lot of things. Also, you are entering the legal age. You can vote, make decisions on your own and sign contracts. It's a once in a lifetime event, so many are celebrating it in a grand way. C'mon, how many times in a lifetime would a girl dress up, all glammed up and will be swept my gentlemen with roses? Many girls are dreaming to be Cinderella for a night and go to a grand ball. And having a debut is a chance to let out our inner princess. But I agree having a grand debut is not for everyone. Some would choose to be practical and spend their money in a simple celebration or for tuition fees. It depends on the debutante how will she spend her debut. It could be in a simple way or it could be grand. The important thing is, when you turned 18, you should be aware what you are responsible to do and what is expected from you.
@uniqueorn (1011)
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
This must be good for girls who have the resources. But don't you think that this only lowers the esteem of women who are in the lower status of the society? That, they don't find themselves any more significant of a woman because their femininity is not celebrated?
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
If the debutante would think it would make her feel inferior, then that's her thinking. It's up to her if it would let it affect her. I had a lot of friends who did not celebrate their debuts in a grand way, but they don't think less of themselves. It depends how you want to celebrate it. And nowadays, because of the global crisis and the economy, a lot of us would be practical and just save up the money for future use. But those who can afford to throw a grand debut, then let them be. just because you did not celebrate your debut in a grand way doesn't make you less of a woman.
@uniqueorn (1011)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
I noticed the same thing. I even thought that out of the debut parties I have attended, the most informal and simple seems to be more enjoyable and comfortable because you are totally free to express yourself. So, there's nothing to feel inferior really.
• Philippines
27 Feb 10
it will really depend on the girl.when I turned 18,there is a little party at our house with friends and family.it's not really a formal debut.I hate wearing frilly gowns and the ceremonial 18 roses.I would rather have a lot of fun eating and chatting with friends.if my daughter wants a debut party,then I'll give her one.
@uniqueorn (1011)
• Philippines
28 Feb 10
Yes. It is more enjoyable to spend more time to chit-chat with friends and family than do the traditional sitting and dancing during debut celebration.
@cripfemme (7710)
• United States
28 Feb 10
I am from the North, we don't tend to have debuts. I've seen the process on TV and I think it's ridiculous, not to mention, holding up gender roles I don't endorse. It's not 1940 anymore. Women don't get married at 17. We go to college and have our careers apart from men. Some of never get married. I think that holding up this kind of institution is reinforcing sexism--something we don't need to do to young girls.
• China
27 Feb 10
i think it is significant for both woman and man who turn 18 years old, because it not only means that they will be a mature woman or a man,it also means that have responsible for the family and for themselve, the need to be independent and should struggling for themselve without help from their parents. for a woman, they can be confident to confront the problems,to show their beaty to everyone, but take into account we can spend money in alot of ways to enjoyable the life instead of pay mounting money for just a grand debut