Mothering Sunday Coming Up And I Can't Afford A Present For Mum

@Janey1966 (24168)
Carlisle, England
March 9, 2010 5:25pm CST
It's at times like this I realise just how skint I really am! Normally, the fact I don't have any money doesn't bother me that much as my outgoings are minimal. My husband and my Mum helps me out with those. However, when it comes to birthdays, Mothering Sunday and Christmas it is really hard for me to keep going, you know? Without breaking down completely and giving up trying to find non-existent work. Tonight I was on the telephone talking to Mum and I mentioned Mothering Sunday and she told me "not to worry about it." I can send her a card but I find it so frustrating that I cannot send her anything else. The other night I was gazing at the wonderful bouquets of flowers I would take for granted in buying when I was working. I would order them online and a knock would appear at Mum's front door, on the day itself. A guy standing there with a huge bouquet just for Mum...from me. Then she would cry because I'm 100 miles away but the flowers would remind her of me, which is why I used to send them. Now I can't do anything like that and (probably) for 2 years running I can't buy her anything for Mothering Sunday and no birthday present for my Dad either, as it falls in the same month. Life s*cks!
2 people like this
13 responses
@pandaeyes (2068)
10 Mar 10
That's why I do surveys. They are all through the year and pay in various ways but mostly amazon vouchers or reward points that can be redeemed. I use the rewards for presents at Christmas and for birthdays. I used to not earn anything myself and I know how frustrating it is when you have family with birthdays etc.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
Thanks for that Pandaeyes, I will give it some serious thought.
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@dawnald (84206)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Mar 10
Apologies in advance if this comes across wrong, but the first thing that crossed my mind was that at least you still have your mother. :-( Anyway, I'm guessing that a card would be just fine with her, and it's the fact that you're thinking of her that's more important than anything else...
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
9 Mar 10
True but it's still frustrating all the same.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84206)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Mar 10
Of course it is...
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
I feel so bad mentioning presents for my Mum and all the while there are people like your good self who doesn't have a Mum anymore. I'm so sorry if I've made you feel sad as I know you have a lot going on in your life at the moment. Sometimes I've just gotta write what comes into my head at the time and I can be insensitive to other peoples' feelings, which isn't intentional but I really should think things through a bit more before posting something that may be trivial to some, under the cirumstances.
@Lochoa (222)
• United States
10 Mar 10
That sucks! I would try to save little by little every month all the change in the house and stuff like that for as long as you can. You said 2 years now? Hopefully it doesn't take another year to find a job but if it does for one reason or another you can start saving little by little now. I don't know where you live but I'm sure there are other inexpensive things you can find to buy her and to send to her. I realy hope everything works out for you but gifts aren't what makes people happy either.
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
Well, I've bought an inexpensive card today and it's quite nice actually as it has a cat on the front..the pair of us love cats, so I'm pleased I managed to get a card with a cat on it. A present will have to be shelved, unfortunately, although Mum did say the other day that she didn't even know it was Mother's Day this Sunday. Me and my big mouth lol. At least I got some feedback from that 12 hour a week job I wasn't shortlisted for. It will help me for any future applications, so at least something positive has come out of the day.
@Fortunata (1136)
• United States
10 Mar 10
Why don't you sit down and write her a letter, expressing how much she means to you? I bet she'd like that more than flowers or candy or a card. Flowers die, anyway, and they're expensive anymore. If you bake, make her a cake or something. If I were a mother, I'd appreciate a nice phone call or letter from my child. If you think about it, there are things you can do to show your appreciation to your Mom and Dad.
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
Many thanks for those suggestions, they are much appreciated. Today I sent her a card. Granted, it wasn't one I had made but it is a nice card, with a picture of a cat on the front. I am confident Mum will like it. The hardest part for me will be having to go round to hubby's Mum's on Sunday. They make such a fuss out of EVERYTHING and it will be difficult for me to be positive as my own Mum is 100 miles away and I can't be with her until Easter. That's what I shall be thinking about when I shall be witnessing lots of phoney interactions by the in-laws. Don't worry, I shall be on my best behaviour!
10 Mar 10
In a way it makes me glad that my mum thinks along the same lines as me, that why do we need a special day to celebrate motherhood. It does allow me off the hook as otherwise I would be scraping around the pennies to try and get something. But to try and help have you thought about writing a nice letter to tell your mum how much you appreciate her, a poem or maybe have some special photos you could use in a gift to her. Often it’s those more personal gifts, such a letter that mean so much more. Hope you manage to come up with something, because I can tell how much it means to you.
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
The thing is, Mum is an emotional sort like myself. The idea of a poem or letter is a lovely one, honestly it is...but to send one to Mum will make her weep, I know what she's like. So I've sent her a nice card with a cat on the front. She'll be able to cope with that without crying (or "booing" as we call it). She is surrounded by photos on her walls I've taken in the past of the Cumbrian countryside and the animals within it. All of them are framed and are a constant reminder of me and how talented I am (not) lol. My Dad has the same attitude as your Mum as regards Father's Day. He doesn't believe in it although his birthday is coming up soon!
@barehugs (8984)
• Canada
10 Mar 10
My Mom loved her garden, and as she lived in town she found it difficult to get fertilizer. Every Mother's day I would take a load of cow manure to her, and spread it on her garden. Of course it smelled, but it made her very happy.In my case the best Mother's day gift was a big load of Cow Manure!
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
Haha! To be honest, I really like practical gifts like that. Something that shall be of use to others...and your Mum wanted some Cow Manure, you provided it. Excellent!
@Dumpertaker (1188)
10 Mar 10
I can understand that you would like to give a gift to your mom, but just a phone call (if you live away) or just saying the words "I love you" can be the greatest gift of all. I don't have that much money often for Mother's day, so I tend to go see her for the day, tell her she means the World to me and I love her very much, which is exactly what I shall be doing this Sunday.
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
Awww, that's very sweet of you. I ring Mum up on Sundays anyway (along with the other 2 days I ring her) so she knows I will be "there" for her at some point. My brother always goes round on Sundays too so she won't be on her own. My Dad goes through his usual routine of going to the Club which will upset her somewhat but he's being doing that since the day he met her so he's not going to change now. In actual fact he doesn't stay out as long as he used to so at least he will be home at a reasonable time. He may even help her with the washing-up, you never know!
@MrKennedy (1993)
10 Mar 10
If I were in your position, I would tell your mother outright. You're her daughter, she will be very understanding if you simply cannot afford a present for her. She would much rather you be okay rather than put yourself in a bad financial situation buying a present for her
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
Oh she knows how I'm fixed financially, no illusions there. I tell her everything and she's not nosey either, I just tell her lol. Gets it all off my chest. She won't be upset if there's no pressy as she isn't shallow that way. If I didn't send her a card though...well, that would be a different matter!
@raynejasper (2324)
• Philippines
10 Mar 10
..hi.. I understand how you feel but right now, just as you've said, you can't send her anything except card.. then you might as well make the card personally rather than buying it so that the card could have a personal touch from you.. it doesn't have to be very beautiful.. what matters most is the meaning of the words you're going to write your mom.. don't worry too much about presents.. your mom will surely understand your situation right now.. your see, gifts and presents are not that important.. what's important is, you show the person you love that you care for them.. love and care cannot be bought by money.. don't bother yourself about the things that you can't do right now.. just be content with what you can afford and make the most of it.. you'll just get depressed and stressed thinking about things that should have happened in case you have like this or like that.. and never fail to let your parents know that you loved them very much..
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
Of course you are right in what you say (and I will give a hand-made card a lot of thought but I did get an "Unclassified" in Art years ago, so I don't hold much hope it'll be any good) so I'm more likely to go to the shop...will probably work out cheaper that way, to be honest. Love is more important than money; I shall have to remember that.
@hofferp (4737)
• United States
10 Mar 10
Janey, your mum knows you love her; believe me she's perfectly happy just knowing that. She'll forego the flowers, but just don't forget to call... Same goes for your dad.
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
Thanks very much for your kind words. She's so supportive, you know? I ring her up 3 times a week but a bouquet of flowers can make it look as though I'm there when I'm not, you see what I mean? Having said that though, I've noticed that prices of such bouquets are extortionate as the sites know that people are going to order them no matter what they charge...and the prices will come down soon after Mothering Sunday. I find that quite sad what with the Credit Crunch still ongoing. I will buy her a nice card on Wednesday, that I know she will like. I will choose well.
10 Mar 10
Hi Janey, I think your mother would understand what you are going through, a phone call and telling her how much you love her is enough, I lost my mum nearly eight years ago and its is so hard when Mothering Sunday comes up, buty having mum in my thoughts, I know that she knows how much I love her, so please don't be depress, your mum understands. Tamara
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
I feel so bad now as I know that many people on here have lost their mothers, I just didn't think about that when I started the discussion. Me being selfish..as usual. Many thanks for your response, it means a lot to me.
• Philippines
10 Mar 10
Hi Janey, Your Mum knows that you are temporarily out of the work force. Most of all she loves you and she understands. You cannot give what you do not have. Flowers and gifts are material things, they don't last. Love does and you have an inexhaustible supply of that in your heart. A phone call and a sincere "I love you" from the heart would surely make her day. In my life, I've been through periods of drought, but I am still here. In fact, quite recently, for 2 months and one day, I didn't have an extra usable penny, was barely surviving. It ended on 2/25/2010. It was quite a long stretch, but it passed. It had something to do with my social security check which was sent to JPMorgan Chase with the wrong account number and which Chase returned to the US Treasury and the US Treasury sent to the Bank of New York, etc, etc, till it found its way to the right bank, together with my February check, wow. I was very happy to be able to pay my bills and share some with everyone in my family. Problems get solved, Janey. What you are going through right now will soon be a thing of the past. But, the love in your heart will never run dry. Friends and family love you, too. That's your priceless treasure. Love is like a piece of raft that you can hold on to and get you through the storms of life. Though a hundred miles away from your Mum, you are there, alive and well, full of love. That is the most important thing for your Mum and that's more than enough to make her wondrously joyful. I know how important it is to know that a child is around, alive and well. I've lost one son, the father of the grandkids who are here with us. Cheer up, keep smiling and make your smiles warm your mother's heart.
@Janey1966 (24168)
• Carlisle, England
10 Mar 10
The tears are happy ones so don't worry! I really don't know what to say after all that...kind of puts things into perspective when you mentioned losing your son. I don't know what came over me mentioning something so trivial as presents. I haven't lost HER have I? Thanks so much for your kind words, they really DO mean such a lot to me.
@raynejasper (2324)
• Philippines
10 Mar 10
..hi.. I understand how you feel but right now, just as you've said, you can't send her anything except card.. then you might as well make the card personally rather than buying it so that the card could have a personal touch from you.. it doesn't have to be very beautiful.. what matters most is the meaning of the words you're going to write your mom.. don't worry too much about presents.. your mom will surely understand your situation right now.. your see, gifts and presents are not that important.. what's important is, you show the person you love that you care for them.. love and care cannot be bought by money.. don't bother yourself about the things that you can't do right now.. just be content with what you can afford and make the most of it.. you'll just get depressed and stressed thinking about things that should have happened in case you have like this or like that.. and never fail to let your parents know that you loved them very much..