Don’t you think it’s rude?

Of non-english speaking waiters and waitresses - Miscommunication in a chinese restaurant
@bounce58 (17387)
Canada
March 18, 2010 1:24pm CST
I had some business to do downtown last night, so I couldn’t make it home for dinner. So, I popped in a Chinese restaurant to get a quick bite. Unfortunately, the waitress who took my order did not speak a word of English. So I resorted to just pointing at pictures on the menu. There’s no problem there. My problem was, while we were still sort of agreeing on my order, she started talking loudly to a fellow waitress. They were speaking Chinese and they were laughing! I didn’t understand a word of it, and I don’t want to assume anything, but I found it rude. I hoped that she would have had the courtesy to finish my order first, before discussing personal business with another person. Specially in a language I don’t understand. Unless of course, they were laughing at me. But I checked how I looked in the mirrors all around, and I seem to look OK. Maybe I’m just unfamiliar with the culture. I hope some Chinese lotters here could help shed some light. If you were in my shoes, would you feel the same?
5 people like this
14 responses
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Mar 10
hi bounce58 I also think its very rude to speak in a foreign language to someone when they should have been waiting on you. it is normal to think they might have been laughing at you. I feel the same way here when two of the caretakers do something for me then start chatting away in Spanish and laughing as I wonder whats so damned funny and why not speak in English if you have nothing to hide. Speaking in another language that you cannot understand really does make you think the others are t alkin about you otherwise why not use English?
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
19 Mar 10
Hello Hatley. The sad thing is, I think some cultures find nothing wrong with this. They might not be talking about me, you, us, but still the fact that we don't understand still would lead us to believe that it is us that they are talking about. I know it shouldn't be worth getting upset about. I just wish they'd see it from our side. Thanks.
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
So you suddenly feel conscious and check on your face and how you look like huh... Yeah that is rude bounce58. A bad customer service... I mean she cannot speak and understand emglish then she has the guts of not paying attention on you. And why would she talk to somebody else while taking your orders in the first place... It is not only that she cant talk english... she doesn't know anything about "good customer service" too... I would feel the same bounce58! I hope you still enjoy your food despite of that...
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
19 Mar 10
Well, the one thing about picking authentic Chinese restaurants, the food is really good. Sometimes though, it has the drawback of being so authentic, that even the staff only speak Chinese. I did try to enjoy my food. It wasn't hard. Thanks for the response lovelyn!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
19 Mar 10
yes, i definitely think so... i will feel offended as well if somebody is talking in another language with another person while serving me... plus laughing... totally unacceptable... i will definitely tell the manager to make sure that he/she knows about their behaviours and i might not want to go back to that restaurant again... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Mar 10
Funny you should say that. I saw the manager sitting behind the counter barking orders to his waitresses. Not very approachable. So, I just decided not to come back to that restaurant. Hopefully news about their customer service spreads out. And then maybe they'd shape up! Thanks for the response.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
I would definitely think and feel the same way. I agree that it's really unprofessional or just outright rude to be doing something personal while on a job, like talking to a fellow Chinese waitress while taking a customer's order, and to top it, they had to talk in a language which obviously the customer didn't understand and laughed out. I would have looked at her in a way she would noticed that I was offended, but I think it's not safe to be doing that in a restaurant to your waiter or waitress as I have seen things on T.V. that could happen when a waiter/waitress dislikes the customer. Well, I just hope this wouldn't happen frequently and any situation.
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
19 Mar 10
You are absolutely right! I would have given her a menacing look. Enough for her to understand that I did not like what they where doing. But alas! I've also seen that show on TV where they do unthinkable things to the food of customers that they don't like. And I haven't gotten my food yet, so it was a possibility. Thanks for the response.
@snoopyfan (1312)
• United States
19 Mar 10
I find it rude as well. I also had a similar experience I was working at a bank and I am a teller. This man came in the line and starting speaking to me in spanish. I said to him sorry I don't speak spanish. He was mad at me and said he didn't speak a lot english and why don't I learn to speak spanish. I reponded to him why doesn't he learn how to speak English? Why do I have to learn to speak another language when I was born in this English speaking country. I have also had people speak in spanish, & chinese and I wanted to say that is very rude since I am sitting right here. I don't know if they were saying something about me or not but people coming to this country need to learn to speak English. It should be a requirement when they are coming here. Like I tell people if I was planning to move to France I would learn French so I could communicate and it is also respectful to the people living there. One more funny story for you about this subject. A long time ago one of my mom's co-workers had this to share. Her brother is a police officer and his wife is a Hispanic woman. He is a white blond hair blue-eyed man. He told her when they would arrest people they would be talking in spanish and saying to their friend act like you can't speak english. Her brother would wait until they got done talking and then start talking to them in spanish letting them know he understood everything they had just said. LOL! Very rude and sorry this happened to you. You are not alone.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
21 Mar 10
Hello snoopyfan. It's funny that even though both of our stories are from the realm of customer service, yours is from the other end. Customers can also be guilty of the same rudeness. I think it boils down to culture. Like you said, if you wanted to live in France, you'd put some importance in learning French. I guess it's just not that important for others who want to move to english-speaking countries. Too bad! Thanks.
• United States
18 Mar 10
This has occurred in our local Chinese restaruant also. I chalk it up to they are laughing at me becuase I have tried to ask for something that sounds nothing like what should of and I probably said a bad word or something. The other part of it may be that she does speak English but acts as if she doesn't so she was telling her co-worker not to slip up and speak in English becuase she was having fun with the pointing out pictures. Either way, I don't let those type things bother me, life is too short and as long as they are not hurting anyone I have broad shoulders and am glad I can amuse them for a while. LOL
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
19 Mar 10
Great attitude sleepylittlerose! I agree with you that these petty little things shouldn't bother me. Sometimes it's just something to take note of, specially if it happens to other people too! There must be something to it if you keep hearing the same stories everywhere. Thanks for the response.
@ksherrie (891)
• Singapore
26 Mar 10
If I am a non Chinese, I might find it rude too. But it is also possible that they have a non-chinese but mandarin speaking customer earlier, so they probably have a guessing game to guess whether you would be able to speak mandarin and one of them lost so they laugh? Or maybe you are very concentrate on what you are ordering that you didn't noticed that the other waitress has been teasing her. Maybe they were gossiping about the type of guys they like and you walked in? So far, i understand that the Chinese from China are usually loud in the way they talked, especially if they are from Beijing and they are with friends from the same home town. I used to see lots of them in back in school.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
27 Mar 10
Thanks ksherrie for clarifying where they could be from. They might just have come from Beijing, because I remember them being loud. I just think that being in an english-speaking country, and being in a service industry, I would have expected a little bit of courtesy. Even if that behaviour is considered normal in their culture. Thanks for responding. And have a great day!
@donna22 (1116)
19 Mar 10
I hate it when people speak in a foreign language and you can not understand. I suppose if they are having a conversation and do not look suspicious it isnt too bad because they have every right to talk in their own language but when they are laughing, it is natural to feel a little umcomfortable and paranoid because they may be laughing at you.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
21 Mar 10
Hello donna22. Maybe I'm just a little suspicious, or a little bit paranoid that if I hear people talking in a language I don't understand, I would always think it's about me. Even if it's not. Thanks for responding.
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Mar 10
I think it's rude in any language!
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
21 Mar 10
Absolutely!
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
18 Mar 10
Hi, bounce58. Yes, I think that it was rude in a silly way. When I am around Mexicans they talk a lot and they are always laughing. I am wondering what are they laughing at. And, what are they actually saying. I don't like when others are communicating and I can't understand what they are saying. It does make me feel strange and out of place. The Chinese woman should have at least found a waitress that is fluent at speaking the English language. Your order should have been finished without being interrupted.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Mar 10
Yes, that was one of the feelings I got, out-of-place. When I did look around me, I did see that most of the patrons were Chinese, and I was really out of my element. But, I guess that what made the place good too. I guess the food was more or less authentic. It's just unfortunate that they have to be a bit rude. Thanks for the response.
• Canada
18 Mar 10
I do find this rude. If that was to happen to me I would feel uncomfortable at the location and it would make my experience their awkward. A lot of times I over hear business folks speaking different languages. I am in Canada so there is a lot of french spoken along with every other language's. I find it awkward because you never know who they are talking about, or what it is. It drives me insane especially when they are right near you or dealing with you. If it is in the distant background I don't mind so much as they maybe speaking to another costumer that does not speak English. But if it is in 3 feet range, then it seems awkward. I used to try and catch a word or to and research it later, or kind of ask anyone if they over heard what that was and see if I can figure out what they were talking about. I know I only speak fluent English. I know about 50-100 words in french, but all other words are insane non understood on my behalf. It makes it hard to want to go back to a place after a incident like this.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Mar 10
You're right that it would be hard for me to come be back to this establishment, after this awkward experience. I understand that it may be a culture thing, but considering that they are in a predominantly english speaking country, they should realize this error. Only way for me to get back at them is by not coming back, I guess. Thanks for keelymcilwain.
@LadyBoss (253)
• United States
19 Mar 10
Yes, I would feel the same. Ive meet alot of people who speak other languages that I do not. And I always wondered if they were talking about me. That was rude, since you were the customer. Dont feel bad though you shouldnt let them get to you, people can be such meanines though. I was at the grocery store the other day and the cashier was yelling at another employee , she didn't even finish my check out or hand me a reciept to tell me she was leaving. She just left to go get the other Employee. And I had to stand there and wait.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Mar 10
I guess some people are so wrapped in their own little world that they forget that they work in a service industry. And of course, us being customers, we always want the best. And we are always right! It's just unfortunate that sometimes we fall victim to somebody else's bad day. Thanks for the response.
• United States
18 Mar 10
I'm not Chinese but I frequently go back and forth in public in Spanish....and YES I did it at work to. It usually has nothing to do with the person in the room, at least where I'm concerned. It's no different than an American waitress laughing and talking in English with one of her friends.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Mar 10
Hello bluehibiscus. I mean no disrespect to waitresses, and I don't have any proof that what they were talking about had something to do with me. But still, I feel uneasy, specially if it's in a language I don't understand. Thanks for the response.
• Philippines
19 Mar 10
"When in Rome, be a Roman." People who don't speak English have no right doing business there. What she did was so 'unbusinesslike.' Be it at a party, at work or anywhere, speaking a foregin language in front of people who don't understand it, is awfully rude. It's a sign of poor breeding. In a restaurant, the waitress is supposed to focus on filling your order and providing excellent service. She can gab away with her friend when they get off work. I've been in your shoes countless times. I'd say, your experience was frustrating to the nth degree. In my case, I was around Hispanic people at work. I did my best to learn the language. Lo and behold, one day they were talking about me without mentioning my name. They had the shock of their lives when I told them off in an almost perfect Spanish. I bet you are resilient and can easily bounce back to your old merry self. Have a great day, bounce!
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
20 Mar 10
I did bounce back! Somehow I've learned not to let things like these bother me too much. I don't and will never have control over it. Unless of course I will do what you did, which is learn the language so I can tell them off. But, Chinese restaurants are a dime a dozen, so I'll just be content on moving on to the next one if I have a bad experience on one. The look on their faces when you told them off must have been priceless!