I deserve everything, and yet I get nothing

@kafueenu (1073)
Philippines
March 21, 2010 10:13am CST
As of now, for me, life sucks. I belong to the top five of my thesis class. I got medal for being best presentor. I will be graduating next week. I have been a scholar through out my stay in college. And it is my birthday next week. And yet my parents chose to give my sister a new phone, and nothing for me. Also they always say, there will be nothing for my graduation because we have no money, and of course that means there will also be nothing on my birthday. My baccalaureate mas will be on wenesday, and so is my birthday. My graduation will be on the 26th, it is now the 21st, and still, they have no intention on buying me something to wear on those days. If only they had paid me their debt to me, I could buy those myself, without asking them money, and I could apply more without bothering them. I hate their priorities. I worked hard and became the best daughter for nothing. And the way they treat me now, is not something I deserve, I hate it, this sucks, a lot.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Hi Kafueeenu! I think that you shouldn't worry about those things. You should be happy that your graduating. In time, your parents will realize that you are the best and you are a very good daughter.. Don't worry good things come in late....
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Sometimes I think I should have been not a very very good daughter, I could have been more free and relaxed. I don't think my parents does late, they do nothing. I am happy I am graduating, I really am, and that is why I wanted to find a job really soon, so that I would not need them to make me happy, I can make myself happy. I can't even buy myself a birthday gift because they borrowed all my money. I can't even enjoy myself on my birthday because I don't have the money. My father buys my mother branded perfumes, shades, and stuff that costs a lot on her birthdays or even their anniversaries, even though my mom is just a big pain. He also gave my sister a new phone, and other stuff even though she is a bigger pain. What about me, all I did was please them.
@yresh12 (3217)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I think that reading this. It's really true that they are having favorites in the family.Is there a reason for them to hate you? I think you are good in school and have even awards. I just don't understand, why they are treating you that way.
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
1 Apr 10
Yes I really think they are, I didn't do anything to disappoint them, I am on my best attitude ALWAYS. It's April now, if ever they have a late something for me, it is too late, damage has been done. And I don't really think there is something more.
@gerald_lian (2190)
• Australia
21 Mar 10
I see that you're doing a lot of things just to get attention and rewards from your parents. That shouldn't be the case. Remember that you parents have spent all their life bringing you up, feeding you, nurturing you and so on, and the fact is actually they have done you a lot of favours in life and they absolutely owe nothing to you. I understand how it feels to be achieving a lot as a student but not getting recognised for it, but hey, that's life. All that you achieve is actually for yourself and no one else. If your parents aren't proud of your achievements, then there is something wrong somewhere. Also, it seems that your birthday is coming and you expect not to be getting any present from your parents. Well, since it is not your birthday yet, you might be in for a surprise, who knows? Besides, have you given anything to your parents for their birthdays? If you have, then you are definitely a filial child. But if not, then I think there is no reason to be upset if you're not getting a present. Anyway, while life may seem an all time low at the moment, do cheer up because I am sure something special is going to happen to you soon. By the way, your birthday is coming soon and you won't want your bad mood to spoil the whole occasion, right?
@Theresaaiza (10528)
• Australia
22 Mar 10
I really love what you said. I also don't count the things that my parents don't give me but I count the things that they do and that includes their love for me, for raising me up, feeding me, and the fact that our author here has achieved so much, it only means that her/his parents raised him/her well.
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Yes, I have given them birthday presents every time, not only that, Christmas presents too, and most of the time I don't get anything in return. I am the thoughtful one in the family, and I really prepare for occasions. But can't they give me back just this one time, I am graduating and I have achieved more than enough, it is my birthday, can't it be different this time, can they be the one who gives and not me? Another thing is, they gave my sister a new phone, and all she did was make things hard for us. She doesn't mind if we are lacking money, she wants what she wants. And she does not make an effort to have a scholarship, even though I've been telling her that a million times. Don't you think I deserve perks more than her? I think I do.
• Australia
22 Mar 10
Well, it really seems that you are doing a lot for the family and you really do deserve the perks. It does seem like your parents have a liking for your sister too, and there is nothing that can be done about that. I myself have been in that position, so I totally understand what you are going through. However, I can't see much that can be done to turn the situation around. I guess the only consolation that you can get is the fact that you can hold your head up high, having achieved a milestone in life that a lot of people can only dream of. So, a very big CONGRATULATIONS to you and also a be-earlied HAPPY BIRTHDAYto you too! I wish I could give you a present for your birthday, but I guess it's impossible to do it online unless I send you a virtual present!
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
Hi Kafueenu, Good day! I feel for you. However, you should not feel that way. You should be proud of your achievements. Why did you study hard and aimed to attain what you have now? Is it just because of appreciation? Or is it for your future? For you to have a good life. I'm not sure what's the situation of your family so I might not be able to give a good judgment and advice. I'm not sure if your sister is also an achiever like you or if she's not. Sometimes parents tend to encourage more their child who is no an achiever. However, it's not because they love him/ her more but because they think that he/ she deserves more attention and help compared to their child who is an achiever. You might think it's unfair and might also feel that they love your sister more than they love you or they don't care about you. But then, consider your self luckier than your sister because you are an achiever and can stand on your own. Appreciate and love your self and love also the people around you or who are important to you. It's normal for people to feel the way you are feeling right now. I sometimes feel the same way too. Whenever I feel bad about something or someone I try to relax and think about it, not just my side but also the other side of the story. It always turns out that I feel better after a while. Hope you get over this feeling and everything goes well with you and your family. Take care and have a nice day! :)
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I really like your advice. I often saw things that way, that my sister needs more assistance than I do. But don't you really think this situation is an exception? I am graduating college! If that is not something to pay attention, I don't know what is. Do I have to be a national hero for them to look at me, and pay attention. Anyway, thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it, it is like you read my mind and all.
• Philippines
28 Mar 10
If that's the case then I guess you should talk to them about it and tell them what you feel. Have you tried to do so? I mean do you feel it easy to open up to your parents and tell them how you feel? Do they really make you feel as if you're not important? Sometimes even if parents can't give us anything material to show how we are appreciated we can still feel that they appreciate us by words and actions (by a simpe hug or kiss, sincere words telling us we are appreciated, a simple surprise that's not expensive. :)
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
1 Apr 10
They don't even do those things you've mentioned, I don't remember a single moment when they hugged me.
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I understand you point. I mean, I was like you, though I was not an over achiever, but I am not really the apple of my parent's eyes. Though I have gotten over it now, since I have my own job, and I earn my own money. I think sooner of later you'll get over it, and it does suck, but that's life. Atleast you have done your part by being a good daughter, it's just up to them to recognize what you've done.
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Yes, atleast I've done my part. I think that is good enough. Everything is for my future anyway.
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
yup, it's for yours as well, so don't be too depressed.
• China
22 Mar 10
Hi,kafueenu! I really appreciate your achievements.As i also is a college student,i feel so embarrassed comparing with you.I'm so jealous of you.I think a lot of people also do the same.Come on!Cheer up!You should proud of yourself.Have you told them your achievement?If you do,they should very proud of having such a outstanding daughter.But i don't know what your parent think of.Maybe you should talk to your parent,telling them you really want to get the encouragement and love from them.I'm sure that your parent love you as they love your sister.Maybe they haven't express to you yet.Besides,you should be considerate of your parents,because they also have the difficulties and hardships which you didn't know.Try to understand and your life will be easier and happier!By the way,congratulation for your graduation and happy birthday!
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Thank you for the greetings and congratulations! Yes, really need to cheer up and stop crying all the time.
@chulce (1539)
• United States
22 Mar 10
Congratulations on your many achievements. I am sure that something good will come of your graduation. Being the oldest of 4 daughters. I know how it feels when you see your siblings receive things and you don't. You see, I felt as if my parents had 2 separate families, me and then my sisters. I am about 7 years older and there were times, I would watch them give gifts and such to them and then nothing for me. I then accepted that I needed to turn my focus off of the material things and onto what was more important. The goals and achievements that I had surpassed. I discovered that no matter what I received from my parents it wasn't as important as the accomplishment that I felt deep inside. They didn't give that to me, I did! Yes, it would be nice to receive something to see that they are proud of you. One thing that I can suggest is that you communicate your feelings to your parents. Let them know that they did make you feel bad by giving your sister a telephone and that here you are about to take the next step in life and that you feel they aren't celebrating with but rather ignoring you. By communicating and opening up to them, it may help them to realize and understand that you are their daughter too and that maybe they should try and do at least a little something for you. Your parents, I am sure will find some way of helping you to celebrate your accomplishments. But, just remember it isn't about something material but rather something that comes from the heart.
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I don't think informing them would help, they would just get mad. Thank you for the congratulations! I really am anxious in getting a job, so I can treat myself, so that I make myself happy.
@viet129 (71)
22 Mar 10
When I go to Vietnam to teach English, I see kids as young as 6 years old on the street trying to sell things, just to find money to have some sort of education. You see, they have absolutely nothing and even wonder where the next meal will come from. They don't have time to worry about a birthday present or some stupid phone. Some don't even have parents. Your parents have a debt to you? Don't think so. Still think you are treated bad? Still think your life sucks? Think again.
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I know the situation of those kids, but I really think its different. My parents can provide, but I provided for myself, I worked hard for my college tuition fee, and the work was no joke. And now they favor my sister even though she has not done anything to help them in anyway? I don't think that is fair. I worked hard, and this is the only time I wish they would pay attention to the things I have achieved.
@mzz663 (2778)
• United States
22 Mar 10
Sometimes my kids feel like I am giving to one and not the other. I don't feel like I am. I give my kids certain things because they need them. I don't know what is going on in your family, but maybe your parents have a birthday surprise waiting for you. Maybe they have a graduation gift waiting for you. Have they paid for you tuition for college? Maybe they have put all of their money up for you for that and feel they owe your sister? Happy (early) birthday and Congratulations on your graduation, I think you will find later that you can buy your own nice clothes because of all your hard work and maybe even fund a night out for yourself for your birthday after you get a great job, all because you did so well in school!
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I pay 75% of my tuition myself, I am scholar. My sister is not a scholar, they pay for everything, I think they owe me more than my sister. I hope they would really have something on my birthday, but I am not expecting, because I did that before, and all I got was pain.
@iceydon (342)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Hi! Maybe they have a surprise for you. It should be a big celebration. A big congratulations for your graduation. Parents would never fail their children especially on their very memorable days. May be your parents are just figuring out what is the best for you. May be they are just having you express your disgust so they'll be able to hit the bullseye for your tremendous happiness.
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I don't think its possible, they have brought me down a couple of times during some of my supposed to be memorable days. My debut is my most memorable birthday because it is my saddest day, I never felt more sad then, but it may be beaten this year. They had nothing for me that day, I expected a surprise but they had none, it was like any other day. I cried in the morning and decided to sleep the whole day through, so that I won't feel intense pain.
• Canada
22 Mar 10
just ask your parents for $1 the first day and then double that amount and ask for that amount of money. repeat this for 30 days. before you start this chain say to your paarents exactly " can you give me $1 a day and the amount will double each day for only 30 days, then you will never have to give me money again." YOU WILL BE RICH IN 30 DAYS
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
You are businessman right? hahaha, I really like the idea, but I don't have the guts to ask that from them, and I don't think they'll agree.
@choybel (5051)
• Philippines
21 Mar 10
I bet they are cooking up a surprise for you. I also think that you know well enough that there are things which you deserve better and they come on the right time. So congratulations to you and advance happy birthday too. You should just think of yourself luckier for being able to attain and achieve so much without the major help of your parents, this proves so much about you and so I don't think you should be the one complaining. Maybe try to have an attitude of seeing things on the brighter side. Once again, Congratulations! and Advance Happy Birthday to you!
@kafueenu (1073)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
Thank you very much, I am so enlightened with your response. I typically look on the brighter side of things, but this situation really gave me grave depression. I don't think they have a surprise, they never did that, and it is so not them hehe.
• Philippines
15 Apr 10
wawa ka naman
@hexeduser22 (6692)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Congratulations! How was your graduation? Don't think too much you know you have been a good daughter all this years, I think it's time for you to do things for yourself. Pamper yourself as much as you want you deserve it. You have done your part and there is nothing that they can do to stop you living your life. I really hope that they had prepared a surprised for you last March 26 2010. Again congratulations be proud of yourself
• China
24 Mar 10
Maybe your parents have their own reason. Without their help, you can grow up to be a strong woman and experience more things than your friends, which is a treasure in your life. I think you will a bright future. So, please become happy and positive. Happy birthday to you, and best wishes.