do you spank your child as way of disciplining them?

@rosey19 (951)
Philippines
March 22, 2010 1:16am CST
as parent it cannot be avoided that there are some children who are so misbehaving, even how you give your best to make him follow, sometimes you lost your patience and out of your anger spank them. was there a time that you spank them? how did you feel about it? have you explain afterwards to your child why you did it?
1 person likes this
10 responses
• United States
22 Mar 10
As a child, I was not spanked, I was beat. There was a 2x4 board that had a handle fashioned to the end and it said, "Donna's Helper." We were repeatedly beat and many times it was due to my stepfather being in a drunken rage or my mom doing as she was told. As a parent now with 4 beautiful children, I try many other forms of discipline besides spanking. However, there are occasionally times when my children will get a spanking. This is done with only my hand and never anything else. I will then calmly explain to my children why they got a spanking and make sure that they know that I love them. I do not like having to spank. However, there are occasions where it is warranted and needs to be used to ensure the safety and well-being of my children.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Mar 10
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. It is good though that you have learned a balance, when to do it and when it is not needed. You sound like a great parent.
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
thanks momjessie82 for sharing your experienced, anyway i hope you have recovered from the bad events in your past. the most important now is how you dwell with your own children. as parents we need to have patience over our children because if not we will make or break our children.
@cher8558 (425)
• Canada
24 Mar 10
Hi friends, You know I got spanked when I was young and I turned out to be a very good person and a very good mother. My children did get spanked. In my opinion, by the time you run around and catch the child after he/she has been naughty, the child doesn't even remember what happened. Children have a very short attention span. However, when you spank a child in the moment when they are being naughty, it is immediate. They know and believe me, they remember why they are getting spanked and then, that quick, it is over. I just cannot see sitting there trying to reason with a three year old which is only just learning vocabulary. He/she cannot understand half of what the parent is saying. I have always had compliments on my kids, even now when they are 24, 19 and 16. So spanking yeah.... not beating. Cheryl
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
yes i was spanked when i was a child but just like i grew up an obedient daughter. and now that i have a child i see to it that they grow up a good person a god fearing individual and honest person. spanking is not good but on how you explained to them afterwards. even if you are angry with them but you still show to them your love by giving them a hug and kisses and feel sorry for what you have done with an explanation so that they will be able to understand the situation.
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
i do, when after i told her not to do something and still she does. but i make sure that i am not doing it to release my anger, i do it to remind her that what she did is wrong and i talk to her after wards. i would ask her, does she have any idea why i spank her, which she would answer "yes, i do", then i explain everything. after the long talk, i would ask her if she would do that again then she would answer "no ma, i'm sorry", and she would hug me after and give a kiss on my nose. my daughter knows that i love her so much and i would do everything for her, and when i spank her, i am the first person to feel the pain because i am her mother, and that every mother love their children so much.
1 person likes this
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
that happened to me also, sometimes is hard to hold your temper when children do not follow you but just like i also talk to him and told how much i love him and i dont want him to grow up a bad person someday that is why i am directing him to the right way.
@hagirl (1295)
• United States
23 Mar 10
I spanked my child on diapers and through clothes; smacked hands until he got a certain age then it was not doing any good ...... When it quit doing any good them were held for special occasions which did not have very many.... I used alot of timeout but mostly I took away things he loved the most such as PS2 games,console,radio,tv,favorite shirts anything I could to let him understand.... I always told him why I was doing it and when he got it back I would make him tell me why I did it and then give him hug and told him I love him..... I might have not been the right way but my child is ADHD with oppositional disorder which both can be have to be controlled with a controlled environment.....
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@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
well, your child needs a lot of special attentions and you should give him the most of your time. you can search from the net some tips on how to deal with ADHD child so you can have a wider idea on how to treat them.
@grkelly (1206)
• Malta
22 Mar 10
My kid frustrates me several times being a very picky eater and very stubborn. I am hot tempered and loose my temper easily so i do smack sometimes. I get sorry afterwards if the slap was a bit big and try to comfort her and explain why i was so angry so that next time she will not do it again hopefully. i try very very hard to remain clam but it is difficult at times.
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
yes it really hard to stay calm if the children are misbehaving and very hard to understand. that is why sometimes it lost our temper and spank them but just like you i get sorry for what i have done and give them a hug and kisses to let them know that i do love them.
• United States
23 Mar 10
Good resource: Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education: www.nospank.net
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@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
thanks for sharing the site. i will try to visit the site and get some information from there. have a great day.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
22 Mar 10
I never spanked my kids out of anger, but I have spanked them. I never had to explain to them why I did it. They knew why I did it. I was spanked as a child. Never harshly or out of anger. But when I did something bad enough to be spanked I was. I knew what I did wrong and understood why I was being punished. I never had any anger towards my parents for doing it. I think that they raised me well. I turned into a good person who respects others and follows the rules (most the time lol) I would want the same for my children. Kids are so out of control these days because no one wants to take the time to discipline them or teach them to respect their elders. I try other methods first before spanking but sometimes a quick tap on the butt is enough to get their attention and let them know their behavior won't be tolerated.
1 person likes this
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
25 Mar 10
i sometimes spanked them especially when they cannot be tamed in a slow way instead they become wild, so i spanked them but i never spanked them without any reason. i tried to explain to them why i need to do it so that they will not develop hatred towards me because children will never forget how they were brought up. that is why i let them feel that even i spanked them i more than love them. so they must show their love to me by behaving well.
@Sreekala (34318)
• India
22 Mar 10
Hi Rosey, Spanking is not the right way of teach discipline. I knew this thing very well but as a mother I do spanking sometimes. I think I am handling many things and working too so sometimes I can’t control my anger and it leads to the spanking when they do any mistakes. When I am out of my anger I really felt guilty on this and definitely I sit with my son and speak to him why I punished him and make him realize the mistake he has done. I will ask apology too for my wrong reaction and I will explain the reason, as I am doing many things and sometimes I am getting irritated much if you too do these kinds of mistakes. A warm hug and kiss is sufficient to make him understand. I think each parents know this factor but sometimes can’t, all we are human beings and we can’t control the anger that only leads to spanking to the child. In other situations I will give punishments like not allowing him to watch his favourite program or cut short the playing time etc. In my opinion, handling those kids, if spanking does not work, then the parents should adopt the way of love and care. It works wonderfully.
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
hi sreekala, i also do spanking to my children especially when they are misbehaving even though i've done the best thing to make them follow. i also felt guilty about what i did but i talk to them privately and explain to them why i did it to them and give them a hug and kiss. i think parents should be vocal tot heir children, i think children will understand if they were given explanations why it happen and somehow they don't feel any hatred towards their parents. that is why as parents we should think of strategies to discipline our children the way it should be. i can suggest to make some research and ask some advice from parents or to some experts on how to deal with children.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
22 Mar 10
I got many spankings from my parents, when I was a kid. My brother and sister also got many spankings. I don't know how will I behave when I have children. I have been married for more than one year and now started thinking about having children. Oh, I am so excited about that. I got not only spankings, but my Dad thrashed me many times. I am sure that I won't do that to my kid.
1 person likes this
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
maybe you are not behaving well when you were a kid that is why you were spank by your parents. but later on you will realized especially when you have your own kids that being a parent requires a big responsibilities, patience and understanding. spanking maybe applied but not too much.
• Bulgaria
22 Mar 10
I don't spank, I don't find it educational at all. Well I have to admit it had happened several times to get out of nerves and to tap him on the pampers. But the only effect was that he find it something funny or a new game and just started to laugh happily at my face. So I stated to laugh too and also realized how stupid it was of mine. But I count these like a mistakes of mine. I know parents who practice spanking as an educational method and I really don't think that is right.
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@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
24 Mar 10
for me spanking to a child depends on the gravity of the sins he committed. it is not good also that every time he commits mistakes he will be spank. that is the wrong way and that is not good also for the child. he will really develop hatred and soon become violent person when he grow up. parents should be very careful in using spank to their children. it will make or break the future of their children.