Question about Before and After Care

@Bytemi (1553)
United States
March 22, 2010 6:33am CST
So I got a call around 6:00 on Friday night from my ex-husband asking if the school had contacted me. I told him no and asked what happened. Apparently Little Bytemi was hanging upside down the monkey bars when her legs gave out and she fell directly on her head. So I asked to speak with her to make sure she was OK and he said he was still in the car trying to get to her. So I called the school to talk to her assuming that she would be sitting in the office waiting for someone to pick her up. The teacher that answer told me that she sent her back outside to play and sounded annoyed that I can called. When my ex finally got to the school I asked him to give her the eye test "follow my finger" and flashing the lights. He left eye was not tracking with her right eye and was jumping all around. I told him I would them at Urgent Care. It turned out to be a sever head injury an not a concusion thank God, but what do I do now? Should I call the school and speak to them about not calling me when she was hurt? I have had this discussion with them before, I work closer and respond faster than my ex and they should have called me. Should I call the school and speak to them about letting her go back outside with a head injury? Should I call the school and speak to them about not supervising her when she playing on the ground? I told the principal that she was hanging upset down from those bars many times in the past and told her it was just a matter of time before she got hurt. What would you do?
7 responses
• United States
22 Mar 10
Depends on what you want to see come out of this. There needs to be accountability on the part of whoever was responsible for sending her back out to play after being hurt. They should have called you FIRST, as you stated (especially since you are the custodial parent, not the EX!). You already know that you should speak to them or else you wouldn't be posting the questions. Your child got hurt on their watch---and that's not always preventable---kids are gonna be kids. But it was highly irresponsible for them to send her back out to play after having THAT KIND of injury. Make sure to document EVERYTHING that was said, done, reported, tested, etc. I have a feeling you have a really good case for negligence here, should you choose to press charges or a law suit. Good luck and I hope Lil Bytemi is feeling better soon.
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
22 Mar 10
I posed the question to see if I was overreacting, kids get hurt we both know that and as usual I am trying to walk that fine line and not cross it (the one where I go off because of something her father did or didn't do).
• India
22 Mar 10
ou know one thing? there is no line when its about your kids, You have to go beyond everything if you have kids, that's what parents usually do and I want to do too for my kids (if i have someday), that's how the best parents are, they're selfish, not for themselves but for their kids, so that their kids get what their parents couldn't or what their parents always wished for, and i think you should be angry about the school, definitely they didn't take care of her wounds, she is YOUR daughter, she SHOULD be taken care of the best way, isn't that right? :) every parent want that
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Mar 10
You are definitely not overreacting. Head injuries are nothing to be messed with. If it were some other type of injury then perhaps I would question an overreaction...but not THIS. I'd be beside myself with anger in this situation. I'd want someone to be held accountable and not let them get away with some lame excuses.
2 people like this
• India
22 Mar 10
put em up on the court :3 they don't deserve to teach kids if they can't care for them as much as that
1 person likes this
• India
22 Mar 10
well, not only that, i feel a lot bad about your kid , because of you, no offense, but its not good that you are her mother and you call your husband a ex, i don't know what could've made you separate from him, but he sounds caring enough about the kid, maybe something i don't know, so don't take me the wrong way please, but its a nice thing to be with your own parents, no one can love kids so unconditionally other then their blood related parents, i hope you two can still love your kid the same way as ever, and maybe even get back together?
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
22 Mar 10
My ex-husband was abusive and the best thing I could have done for my daughter is leave him so she would not grow thinking it was OK for a woman to be treated that way. That is all that I am saying on that matter. As for my daughter, her father and I both love her very much, we have family dinners togethers, we attending school events together and we are doing everything we can to ensure that she knows that we are both here for her and that we can get along. By not being married we elimated the obsessive jealously and angry.
• India
22 Mar 10
err, don't get angry :3 sorry for that, thought he just sound like me when it comes to jealousy :3 i get a lot jealous most of the time :# whenever i see my girlfriend talking to someone i don't know :3, but anyways, nice thing, keep it up, and do put the school on court :3
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Mar 10
You definately need to contact the school and maybe even the school board. I know that around here the children are not allowed to hang upside down from the monkey bars for that exact reason. There is too great a risk to allow that behavior. As far as them not contacting you regarding her fall, these questions should be considered: Who has primary custody of the child? Are you listed on her emergency contact information? If so, is your name first? Did your daughter say, call my daddy? And I can not believe the school nurse allowed her to go back outside after a fall. The one thing our school nurses know is that if there is a possible head injury, then the child has to go to the nurses station, be monitored constantly until a parent picks them up.
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
22 Mar 10
I am the primary custody parent. I am listed first on all emergency call list and I have discused with them in the past about me being the first call.
• United States
22 Mar 10
Then I would say that they are most likely in violation of a school board rule. In most districts, especially for elementary and middle schools, they are suppose to call the emergency contacts in the order in which they are listed on the card. The high school kids usually call the parent themselves so it is whoever they think will be able to get there first. If you are not getting any satisfation with the school go to a school board meeting and catch one of the officals either before or after to discuss your situation. It sounds like you and your ex have a good working relationship when it comes to your daughter, but unfortunately there are some cases that this is not true and they may be going through the same things you are about not being contacted in the correct order.
1 person likes this
@Liath27 (28)
• United States
22 Mar 10
I think you should definitely talk to them about the head injury (bring the Dr. report) and sending her back outside. My kids have whacked their heads, fallen from some pretty bad heights, etc. and I have let them get back to playing after they have calmed down - but ONLY AFTER I HAVE WATCHED THEIR PUPILS and looked for any other signs of trauma. Isn't that what a school nurse is for . . .? But as to the "not supervising" bit I would probably not bring that up, kids will be kids and even when someone is supervising they will get hurt - sometimes even before you can open your mouth to say "get off of there!". But if you really think they are not being supervised enough I would talk to other parents, if you can observe recess or play time and just watch and see how many adults they are and how close they appear to be watching the children. I am glad it was not a concussion - they can be very nasty. Is she ok now?
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
22 Mar 10
She is back to her chipper self and appears to be over the any problems caused by the fall.
@epsjoice (57)
• United States
22 Mar 10
Hi Bytemi, I agree with all the responses. You should setup a meeting with the principal immediately and find out why this situation wasn't handled appropriately. Anybody with any common sense would not have sent little Bytemi out to play again. I also agree that a school nurse or other medical person should have been with the child until she was picked up at least. The school should have called medical personnel if there was any chance that she was hurt badly. The principal needs to know that you will not accept this type of behavior on their part. Also, depending on what her future medical needs may be, you may have no choice but to go after the school district if you need the help for her medical bills. You may not want to sue, but I would contact a lawyer and at least have a consultation about what you should do legally to protect your family should Bytemi need future help. I am so sorry to hear this. My prayers are with you and Bytemi for a speedy recovery.
@rajaiv0810 (1013)
• Philippines
22 Mar 10
I think you should set a meeting at school and talk to the principal and so as to her adviser and to that teacher who answered your call. And she was the one who sounded annoyed at that time huh! When it comes to my children I am really over protective and i can understand if you are like that too. As a school they have a responsibility to take a look at the children. They have to make sure that these children are safe. Of course children are children and sometimes it's inevitable for them to have accidents. But when an accident happens such as this, they shouldn't allow yet the child to play back after everything. They should make sure first that one of the parents is there to pick up the child. As a school they represent the parents outside home and part of their responsibilities to ensure safety of these kids. With regard in contacting you, stress to them that they should call your first because you are nearer and you can come faster. If this thing should repeat pull out your child and put her in another school where they can ensure her safety.
1 person likes this
@phoenix8606 (4977)
22 Mar 10
yeah, you should really definitely talk to them about that what has happened, because you are the mother of the child and no matter that you don't leave with your husband anymore, they are indebted to call you as a parent of the child and by the way I just didn't understand, did that happen at the time she was still at school-i mean when she hasn't finished with the classes. because if it is so, then you can hold them responsible for that!
1 person likes this