what you gonna do if best friend turn in to suck friend

Japan
March 22, 2010 8:07pm CST
I got friend i dont know her much but i do care to every one she was new in Japan i help her in everything we stay at the same apartment was my boss apartment it was 6 people stay together now we have different personality but we do respect each other but then since she came all change,i do a lot thing to help her food,learning language or even money we all clean house together eat together but then every one in the house do not like her much cause she did a lot thing that really bad,i still helping her this and that when i found that she told every one in my work place all the thing that i never done,and it was hurting me when people start believe at her even my boss i just stop helping her even talk to her i feel like she is cheating at me,now we all got bad feeling just because of her,but glad every one know that i am not the one doing such bad thing and it was her now....i really want her to know that she have to proof herself if do not want every one to hate her should i tell her or should i leave her.....if it is so...how to.... tell me
1 person likes this
10 responses
@Bhadine (581)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Well, if I were you I will talk to her privately. Then, I'll be frank with my feelings that I really got hurt with the issues she had thrown against me. I'll even advise her to be cautious with everything she do and said if she wants to be liked by our colleagues. I'll tell her how much I value her as my friend and I'm willing to forgive her if she promise not to do that again.
• Japan
23 Mar 10
i try at one but then i was thinking why i should be busy with her if she does not change herself to be good,thanks for the comment
@Bhadine (581)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
She used to be your best friend. And if you truly value her, trying to wake her up is not a waste of time. If you give up easily, where's the essence of the word "best friend".
• Japan
23 Mar 10
I just back from work today my boss fire her and she had to move out from the house,she have to go back to her place tomorrow i feel sorry for it but nothing i can do she made a lot trouble and big mistake,i ll not see her any more.is over don`t know have to sad or happy
@Jeineh (23)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
I have been so many experiences dealing with different people. specially when it comes to "friends" I've been in Public school in 10 years.when i was Elementary and High school. Different people with different traits. I encountered so many "fake" friends and they don't deserve people like me. Every time they bully me. I will just sit in the corner of our room, and nobody wants to talk to me because they said so. I thought they were a true friend. but i was wrong. I realize lately that whenever they want something from me we are ok. we are friends. after they get what they want they will bully me. Ha-Ha crazy isn't it? so when I step into College I've learned from my experiences and i choose my friends carefully. well in that case talk to your friend, tell her frankly that you don't like it. and tell her that she's a coward for not telling you personally the things she hated to you. Actually i hate being back stabbed. I hate it. people like her is just a coward and she's not a true friend. she's taking you for granted. why would she do some things that would make hurt your feelings if she is your true friend. right?
• Japan
23 Mar 10
today i just say thank you for everything to her and feel sorry cause she have to leave tomorrow cause my Boss fire her and want her to move out from the house,thanks for the comment
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Not to sound harsh here but your friend has an unknown illness not necessarily mental. It is best to treat her as a friend and the pressure from others worsen her condition. Instead of being judgmental to her, give a compassionate heart instead. She is like a bomb that needs to be defused. Let her get the strength she needs by keeping her confidence intact. Else its going to traumatize her and make her moves slower than before. She needs to eat well or check whether she's eating well and its not only food that she needs but also rest. If she have to do something better lessen its difficulty or appoint someone to do that task because shes suffering from very low energy. Please let her recuperate.
• Japan
23 Mar 10
yes i think she is sick and need to see the doctor nice idea thank you
@daliaj (5683)
• India
23 Mar 10
I will leave that friend forever. This happened to me once. One of my best friends kept borrowing money from me. I didn't take it as an issue for the first few times. She ignored me when I asked the money back. So, I decided not to give her any money. Later, she wanted to stay at my house for a week because she was sick of the hostel food. But, I was not in a condition to take her to my house. She didn't understood that and was mad at me. We stopped talking each other.
• Japan
23 Mar 10
She leave tomorrow cause my Boss wanted too,thanks for the comment
@laydee (12811)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
I know how you feel. I am reminded by a friend I once had in the company I was working with. We were quite close since we were almost the same age. We had been like friends for several years until she decided to go part time and work in another company full time. At first, it was okay because she'd call and visit us often. A few months after, we no longer heard from her and when we would send her sms or call her, she'd always apologize for being busy. It wasn't until a several months that we had realized her true color. Our company was having this drive of spreading financial education to schools and Universities and since she worked at one of the Universities in our area, we decided to ask her help. A colleague (also her close friend before) went to her to talk about the drive and was just shoved off like an ordinary person. The friend told me that she wasn't really busy but decided to just let her submit a proposal, she could feel her coldness. From then on, we no longer really cared much of anything of her. Yes, it is sad, but we can't force anyone to be our friend if she feels that we're no longer part of her life, can't we? And besides, our lives won't be sadder without her either. As for your situation, I think it's best that you confront her. You ask her what's wrong and put your feet down. Perhaps she has forgotten where she came from. If the talk doesn't go well, then forget about the friendship. Just let her be. These types of people won't go very far in their success due to failure to acknowledge where they came from. As long as you're not doing anything to ruin them, its their fault that they have let go of our friendship.
• Japan
23 Mar 10
Thank you for the comment
@Bearballew (1149)
• United States
23 Mar 10
Sounds like maybe you need to have a house meeting and make some house rules. Start with 1. Respect everyone in the house 2. What happens inthe house, stays in the house... etc. Come up with expectations of everyone. Also, consequences. Hold every member to those. As far as personally... yes, you need to talk to her about how she has hurt your feelings. It will fester inside you and turn into bitterness....she probably won't be effected. Forgiveness is mostly for the benefit of the one giving it!
• Japan
23 Mar 10
yes think that is the best thing to do.thank you for the comement
@abitcurious (1423)
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
If you really consider her as a friend, its better to tell her everything that's been hurting you lately. A lot of these things happen because a lot gets lost in translation when all you have are stories from other people or from your biased observations. It's good to talk it out. However, if after you try to patch things up and your friend still stays the same way, then it will be a lot better for you to avoid her. This means that she just took advantage of your generosity when she first got there in your country. Lost then, she had nothing but you to guide her. But now that she seems to have found her own paths, she might have realized you really don't belong in her life anymore. Have you heard of the phrase 'familiarity breeds contempt"? I've seen this happen a lot to so many people (including me). When everything just seems too familiar you get this feeling that you're cringing every time this one person comes. It's a phase and it will eventually blow ever... IF you agree to talk about what bugs both of you. Have faith first before you decide to throw it all out the window. It never hurts to try.
• Japan
23 Mar 10
I ll try too used that way:) thanks for the comment
• Philippines
23 Mar 10
Tell her frankly. There is nothing wrong in telling her straight. You have to do something which is good for the both of you.
• Japan
23 Mar 10
no one can to talk to her cause we talk one word she answer 5 word so every one just being quit thanks for the comment
• United States
24 Mar 10
I think you should talk to her and give her a chance to explain herself. She's being really mean right now but see if she has a reason. Maybe after you confront her, she'll realize she's wrong and apologize. If she doesn't give a good explanation and continues to be horrible to you, stop talking to her. You don't deserve to be treated like that especially after all you did for her.
@edu4625 (188)
• United States
23 Mar 10
I think the most important thing is that you recognize the problems were not about you but your friend. She is perhaps going through some kind of challenging time and found it difficult to live with 6 people. Maybe the situation brought out the worst in her. Although it does sound like right now the two of you might need to put some distance between each other where you can think more about what happened and consider if you want to continue this friendship. Don't completely cut her off. I've had situations where I've felt in the heat of the moment that I never wanted to talk with the person again. But after some time I usually find that I can hardly remember what I was mad about. So leave the door open as you might reconnect again.