How to tell someone you dont like him/her without hurting the person that much

@setsuna26 (2751)
Philippines
March 30, 2010 12:12am CST
Im in this situation where in someone is obviously making her intentions clear. I understand what she feels but sadly thats not what i feel for her. I feel nothing but i dont want to be the cause of her pain thats why i want to break it to her gently, the problem is i dont know how to, can someone please help me and if possible give me directions?
1 person likes this
10 responses
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I think the best way is to tell him straightly what you feel for him/her not telling other thing that will make the conversation longer. Sometimes it will hurt the person much. The longer time you spend with him/her without telling that you really don't have feeling with him/her will lead to too much pain because he/she will expect "SOMETHING" from you .! and you now what it is ^^
1 person likes this
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I guess your right, it rather hurt her once than hurt her twice or even more if i dont tell her the real score.Im glad that somehow you understand my situation ,its hard sometimes to feel this way, to find someone who cares for you alot but on the other hand you feel nothing in return
• India
30 Mar 10
i even guess you people are right...cos at one point or the other he/she have to tel him/her that you really don't have feeling on him/her........it definately hurts the person but if you keep on hiding or skipping the topic.......it gets complicate to you to tel in the future......its better you tel the person directly.............
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@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Yeah contactsmiley your right its like sooner or later he or she will be hurt so we better tell as soon as we can do avoid more pain in the end, so that she will have alot of time to recover from me
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
30 Mar 10
I think being rught up front , honest & kind w/her would be your best bet. It may hurt her now but if u let it go on & she thinks there is hope she will just get hurt more as time goes by. Good luck.
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@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
Im also thinking bout the same thing. Telling her as soon as possible so that she wont expect anything and so that she wont be crying for that long anymore. And maybe i can console her and tell her that we can be really good friends instead ;) Thank you for the time commenting ;)
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
5 Apr 10
Broach the topic straightaway. .Better do it fast before setting expectations and building hopes.She would take it badly if you do it late.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
5 Apr 10
Girls are tough fighters and if you say you are not interested in her it is not that she is going to pine for you for the rest of her life.Do not worry about how hurt she would be ;I am also said to be a softhearted person but I am very sensitive and stubborn. But do it fast.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
5 Apr 10
That is aterible experience for your friend.Setsuna I have left a comment for you along with the third response.
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
5 Apr 10
Thanks for the advice i will do it as fast and as painless as i can just like an assassin lol, i have a friend faced with the same situation he told the girl that he just dont like her and that they can just be friends, the next day the girl shot herself, scary, but i know most girls are not like that , yes they will cry and be hurt , but just as you said as well it will pass and who knows we can be really good friends too. ;) thanks again!
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
30 Mar 10
Think of the things you like about this person so you can say "I think you are a lovely person, but I just don't feel any spark between us." Many people meet someone they like and then realize there just any magic and waiting for something to develop just never works out.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
2 Apr 10
Yes, but don't tell her she will find a better guy because that will only make her more upset. It is much better just to say "I like you as a person but I don't think of you that way" and leave it at that.
1 person likes this
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
2 Apr 10
I will keep that in mind , its just so hard to say no to a girl in a very nice way, i hope you get what i mean i dont want to be rude at the same time i dont want her to cry at least that much... thanks again canellita
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
2 Apr 10
Hello canellita, so its more like try to compliment her strengths first before you give the final judgement? like tell her that she will find a better guy sooner or later? ;) thanks for participating
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Tell her directly. It will be far worse, if you mislead her into thinking there's a chance, when there is not.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Yeah. That's a bad position, but sometimes that's life. Get it over with as quickly as possible. You'll feel better getting it off your shoulders, even if it hurts her for it little bit. She'll get over it really, even though it won't be fun.
1 person likes this
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
Its more like i should tell her as soon as i can than making her wait for something that is not coming?.I thought about that too. No matter what i do the girl will still be hurt, its more like damn if you do and damn if you dont. Thank you for sharing!
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
You got that right im pretty sure she will be able to move on as soon as i get it off.And who knows maybe we can even be good friends in the end too. Maybe thats even a better ending ;) Thanks man! for dropping by and giving me your piece of advice ;)
• Philippines
2 Apr 10
you know setsuna26 it very simple, ask her to have a talk and you must go straight to your point. yes it will hurt her but time will come that she will understand you, you just become true to yourself and to her, you know the saying "until love exist there will be hatred, and hatred will cause PAIN in this world" do your best to tell the truth as early as possible so that you will not hurt her much.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
5 Apr 10
You must not say that you do not like her but you must say that you may not suit each other from a long term point of view.Obviously you are not on the same wavelength and you will have to break it to her directly but using proper words. You can bring in family, environment, differences in upbringing.If she insists you can tell her that you are convinced it won't work.She is a girl and she won't come after you.
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
2 Apr 10
I just wish its that simple but when you tell a girl that somehow you dont like her that will hurt her alot if your not careful at all.But whether you like it or not you have to say it anyways ;) Thanks for participating jiraiyasanin
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
hi there! i think there is no easier way to tell her how you'd really feel about her without hurting her. you just have to be honest with her and tell her in the nicest way you can about your feelings towards her. i think at first she'll feel a bit upset but later on she'll moved on. you can also offer her your friendship instead. but making sure she'll never misunderstand your being too nice with her or else she'll expect more of you. happy mylotting!
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Yeah being honest with everything is the best way to go, i mean its not an easy deal to tell someone that you dont have any feelings for her at all.Unless your a bad guy who dont even care bout the feelings of others you wont even think about her feelings. ;)
@daliaj (5674)
• India
30 Mar 10
It is difficult to say a person that you don't like him. If you have a valid reason to say 'No' to the person you can say taht. Not always the person will ask you for a reason if you say that you don't like him. I said 'No' to some of the persons I didn't like. I felt it difficult to say that I didn't like the person. I lyed to them saying that I already have a bf.
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Yeah and to some extent its easier for girls to say no to a guy, but on my part im the guy telling the girl i dont like you is kinda awkward. Its like she will be humiliated big time if i just say it as it is. But sooner or later she needs to learn too
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I think you should just tell her. Say something like "I know you like me but i don't feel that way with you. And i'm sorry. But if we can be friends that's fantastic."
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
yeah.. i know it's very difficult to tell someone that you don't like most especially if you're sensitive enough towards the feelings of others. But I think, the best way to do is to confront her, tell her exactly what you don't like about her in a nicest way ever, i know it's not that simple but that's one thing that you can get rid her...
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Yeah thats the best option that i should take to tell her instead of what i feel and to try to make her understand. She will be hurt for sure but shes rather hurt now than even hurt some more later instead. Either way its going to be bad for her and me too .